Fan Fiction

Our Destiny [COMPLETED]

by Estee

Chapter 28

1st Review by Winter Sunshine

#28 - 1st Review by Winter Sunshine

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Poster&Background: 10/10

I really liked your poster and background.. it was simple... it did not have too much on it

Foreword: 8/10

Your forewords were fairly well done, but we were only able to understand Hebe, and not as much of the other characters.

Cast Used: 4/5

please remember that this part is a very biased proportion :D

okay.. i personally love the pairing here as for

selina - jiro
hebe - arron
chun - ella

it was nice and simple not too many characters

Originality & Creativity/ Story and Plotting: 30/35

i liked it... not a lot of stories add the "best friends" getting engaged, and it so happens they are together... it was VERY cute...

the only thing i do not like is the fact that Hebe got pregnant... it was very expected...

but in general it was fairly well done

for the plot i would say it is nice but the ending was not so good

Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 10/10

i would say your spelling and grammar was perfect :D

i probably would do a lot worse haha

good job... proof reading :D

Pace Of Story: 8/10

I just loved the pace of your story. It wasn't rushed nor dragged for the most part UNTILL THE END

the END WAS VERY RUSHED O.o

Writing Style: 8/10

it was very welll written but!

the problem was sometimes it was really close together.. and it makes it a bit hard to read

it made my head spin... after reading it for a while it was like @.@

Overall Enjoyment: 9/10

AGAIN! very biased

I really did enjoy your story! I enjoyed reading it.

remember the words

OVERALL enjoyment.. there were a few chapters that were.. ehhh bleh... but in general VERY WELL DONE

TOTAL: 87/100

Reviewed by: hunnie<3

www.freewebs.com/wintersunshine

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Thanks for the review. (:
I really appreciate it!
I agree that the ending is rushing. I hate endings! I don't know how to finish my ending. ALWAYS! :(
I will continue to work hard for my next fanfic. :D