| Fan Fiction |
by etoile
~*~
Summer soon ran into autumn, and we still remained firm friends. However, things weren’t quite the same after the ‘chingu’ incident, as I had officially dubbed it whenever painful flashbacks hit me at random times. Junsu developed blue funks, where he would sit and stare into space for ages. Most of the time he was his old, lovable self, but sometimes he was so quiet even I couldn’t lure him out of it with promises of fun and games.
It felt like on some level, he was pushing me away.
The day we saw that music box, it was raining heavily. Cold, slightly damp and stuck outside on the streets of Seoul without an umbrella, we decided to duck into the nearest covered space to avoid getting utterly drenched. Dusk was falling and the street lights were coming on, lighting up one by one as if by clockwork. The sudden downpour had caught most passers-by unawares, and many, like us, had wandered into the shops to dodge the pelting rain which was falling with an intensity that made it difficult to see past the curtain of rain.
“Wow”, was the only word I could muster when I saw it. The top was open, playing that beautiful tinny melody. For some reason I was mesmerized by it – this simple music box that stood by itself, playing its song for all to hear.
Standing next to me, he took one thoughtful look at the music box and turned to me. “It’s a beautiful tune. You should have it.”
It took a moment for his words to sink in, but by this time he was already counting out his money. “Junsu, you don’t have to. Honestly, I was only looking at it…”
He turned to me and smiled, then spoke in his husky voice. “Please Hoshi, indulge me this one time.” He turned his back towards me and I knew enough about him to know that it was the end of the matter. I was getting that music box whether I liked it or not. Only then did I notice that his smile didn’t glimmer in his eyes the way it used to.
We wandered aimlessly among the shops after that, him holding the wrapped music box in his hand, me trying to figure out what he was trying to get at, both of us in silence. I was dying to know the reason behind his strange behavior, but didn’t have the courage to broach the subject. He was avoiding my gaze, intently looking in the opposite direction to where I was standing looking at him. Pouting childishly, I poked him arm gently with my index finger.
“Junsu Oppa… what’s the matter?”
He turned to look at me. “Me? Nothing’s the matter. Are you alright?”
I nodded, trying to unravel the mystery in my head, but to no avail. His mind was now like a labyrinth to me – impenetrable and formidable. Gone were the days when I could read him like a book. Right now I didn’t know what was going on between us, and it scared me. That was why my voice trembled slightly when I asked him, “Junsu, why did you buy the music box?”
Just as I expected, he pushed the wrapped package towards me and feigned non-commitance. His voice was gentle, but had an edge to it that seemed to want to detach him from it. “I bought it for you, but surely you knew that already.”
I took the package from him, feeling the weight of that beautiful object in my hands. I didn’t deserve it. “But…why?”
He shrugged and crossed his arms, a faint smile playing on his lips. “Don’t know. Do I need a reason for everything, little Miss Scientist?”
I guess he had a point there, so I dropped the subject, despite the fact that inside, I was simply dying to know his reasons. He remained silent for another good ten minutes, his mind and his thoughts were like a faraway star, something that I could watch from afar, but would have to travel a lifetime to get even a glimpse of what lay beneath. He was falling away from me and I didn’t know what to do.
Just as I was allowing waves of inner despair to wash over me, Junsu reached out and wrapped his hand around my index finger.
“Come with me. I’ll tell you why.”