| Fan Fiction |
by SeventhStar
I threw my tuxedo to the bed. I was so exhausted after the premiere. Smiled to everyone during the premiere definitely made me sick. I didn’t enjoy the premiere because I even didn’t know who the people were that I talked to in the event. If Charlene didn’t force me to go to her first premiere I will not come for sure.
I never used into her world. The same thing that she never used into my world. The problem that always made us drawn into another fight and fight. The different thing was I never complain about her world. Different with her that always complains when I paid attention to my career more than her. At the time I wanted to show how care I was to her, she rejected my engagement purpose. Actually I didn’t know how I was feeling to her. It seemed like the feeling that I had to her gradually decreased.
She changed. I changed. She changed because of her career and I changed because of… Because of her. Because of Ella. Because of the kiss that we shared at that night. Because of the time that I enjoyed so much with her.
I never forgot about the kiss. I had to admit that the kiss that I shared with her was not a temporary desire and passion kiss. At the moment when I kissed her, I felt like I really fell in love with her although I knew that was impossible. She was my race engineer and the relationship between me and her should be just a co-workers relationship. It couldn’t be more than that.
Moreover, she had a daughter and an ex-husband which was my acquaintance too in my work. She had her own life. I had my own life. I had Charlene and she had Hana. I thought those reasons should be more than enough for me to not even think about her.
But why my heart was beating uncontrollably whenever I remembered about her. I thought about her more than I thought about Charlene. I couldn’t count how many times I had to assured my self and reminded my self that Ella just my race engineer and Hana’s mother. Not more than that.
I took a bath and thought about this problem carefully. I adored Ella for sure but whether my feeling is a true feeling I don’t know. For sure my undecided feeling to Ella really made my relationship with Charlene worse than before. I didn’t say that our relationship was healthy before Ella came. But it became worse after I kissed Ella. I ignored Charlene’s call the day after I kissed Ella. All day I just slept in the hotel without doing anything.
I had to make a decision. I had to know and understand my feeling as fast as possible because I couldn’t life based on lie. So did Charlene. The more I lied about my feeling, she will be hurt more. I even felt so guilty with Ella because I just kissed her at that night without gave explanation until today. Today was the seventh day after that kiss incident. She must be thought that the kiss meant nothing to me.
I even didn’t consider her feeling. I felt so bad for it. But how did I explain to her if my self didn’t sure about my feeling. This feeling felt like I was 15 years old boy that in dilemma whether I had to confess my feeling to my first crush or not. I smiled when I realized this feeling. I thought I will never felt something like this again in my 22 age.
With just towel in my waist I sat on my bed and opened my laptop. Perhaps with played with my “wife” I could clear my mind for a while. I checked my email with the account from my team and surprised that there was an email from Ella Chen.
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From : Ella Chen (ellachen@honda-petronas.com)
To : Wu Ji Zun (wuchun@honda-petronas.com)
Subject : Testing Schedule Changing
I have to tell the testing schedule changing for next January. As we planned before you and Alex Yoong will be doing testing together in January. But because of the sudden meeting that I have to do with Honda in Japan, I have to cancel the schedule.
As you know I’m the main race engineer and also your personal race engineer. And there is Jensen Ackles that became Alex Yoong’s race engineer. I couldn’t make to accompany you at Barcelona in January because I have to do the meeting.
That’s why I decided to divide the portion of yours and Alex. Since Jensen will not able to be a race engineer for two drivers at the same time so I made a solution that you will do test in day 1 and day 2 and Alex will do test in day 3 plus a full test portion in Suzuka. Just like what you had in Sepang.
So change your personal schedule and I hope you also can followed Jensen’s instruction even he is not your personal race engineer. We will meet again in the first race, Australia, in March.
Take your holiday time wise fully and hope to meet you in a perfect shape.
Ella Chen
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A sudden schedule change? I thought I will meet her again in next month. I didn’t dare to go to her house in Taiwan because I was afraid to face her not in work time. But this sudden change made me will not able to meet her until March. And that was a long time.
I turned my laptop off. My mood suddenly ruin into worse feeling after I read her email. I felt disappointed with what she wrote there. She even didn’t ask about the kiss. Ella Chen in the email was 100% my race engineer. Then I thought about something.
How if Ella just made all of these? How if actually there was no such thing like a meeting with Honda? How if Ella also bothered with our shared kiss? How if Ella also feel she will not able to face me because of the kiss? And that meant…. Ella also didn’t think that the kiss just a usual kiss that has no sincere feeling in it….
Thinking about that possibility made me high again. Thinking about the possibility that Ella also perhaps thought the same thing like me made my heart was beating faster. I had to make sure about this. Tomorrow I will back to Brunei and perhaps this is the last chance. The last chance for me to make sure about my feeling. About her feeling.
I didn’t want to just sit here and missed anything that shouldn’t be missed. I have a serious feeling with her and I wanted she know about this.
I grabbed my car key and left my hotel room. It was 1 am in the morning but I didn’t care. What I care now is my feeling and her feeling. I even didn’t care about Charlene. You can called this as betrayal but after this I thought my problem with Charlene could be solved.
The problem was not with her. But with me. This is the only way to solve my problem. I still remember my mother’s last words 2 years ago…
“Chun.. be a Man. A man is someone who brave. Who brave to responsible with all problems that he made. Who brave to face the reality. Even it was so difficult. Chun… a Man should be the one who wake a woman from a lie life. We… women sometimes don’t want to wake from a dream. We sometimes don’t want to face the reality. That’s why we need men. To wake us up. That’s why you have to b brave Chun….”
I still remembered how my mother actually didn’t agree with my decision to become a professional driver because she was afraid that I might be hurt or something. That’s why I told her how the safety system in automotive sport industry works. Since then she believed me and she always said that as a man…. That’s one of man’s duties. To give a reasonable reasons to woman so she will not drawn in unreasonable feeling. But at same time man also has to listen the woman. Because a woman’s intuition most of them were correct.
I smiled when I remembered my time with my Mom. I had to be brave. I pushed my car in maximum speed. This time not in circuit. This time was not in race. But in a real life race. I couldn’t wait to clear everything about my feeling and her feeling. Just like in race…. As a driver we just could maximize what we had but the result of the race it self… no one could ever predict it.
Life is a risk and I’m wiling to face it.
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[Author’s Note]: Sorry for a late update… lol. My cell phone broke so a whole day I just do everything that I could to safe my cell phone lol. Another boring chapter…. Lol… Yes it is. Because I just want everything to be clear…. Lol. Just tell me what you think about this chapter… ^^
[Comment’s Reply]:
- Jasmine: Uhm… for your question… We will see in next chapter… or can you guess from this chapter.
Ps: just look for it… kill me if its bad… ha ha
- Charycvbjs: ahhh… nice to hear you again dearie lol… Or she couldn’t forget it.. lol - --- soutsada7: because she is not ready…. To accept another love in her life >_< oh yeah.. my info lol… just share a little bit about my passion
- jowyn: Chun was doing something… but will he success? Lol..
ps: its nice dearie …. ^^
- Unexpected Journey's Author: I also have read your update ^^
- mako cimatu: ahh.. new reader…. Glad to found one… lol…
- Eirallina: lol…. 15 chapters and the only progress just kiss… such a slow writer here lol
- xiaoXue: ni feelingnya chun jeng :P