| Fan Fiction |
by SeventhStar
I was gazing at my picture folder in my laptop. The folder I gave name as “Love”. The folder which I protected with a special password…. Her name. The one that I had been loved. But not anymore.
Charlene.
The folder was full with our pictures. My pictures and her pictures. I clicked on the next button and I reviewed all my pictures with her. We seemed so happy there. Those moments mostly when she still became Charlene that I knew. An adorable and innocent Charlene. Charlene was the one that always there, in the paddock when I still started my career to reach Formula One.
The situation changed when I focused into my career. I have been doing a lot of practices so I could get super license as a recruitment to be a Formula One driver. It was not an easy matter because I had to fulfill a minimum “distance” in a competition so I could make they sure that I was able to be a Formula One driver. I was able to get the super license.
I didn’t have enough time to spend with her. She also decided to start her career as an artist. It was the start of everything. Everything which did ruined our relationship. I had been busy and so had she. When we met, most of the time we ended our meeting with quarrel or fight.
She complained about my lack of time. Even I didn’t complain about her job, actually I bothered a lot with the status of her as celebrity. Mostly when I went to Taiwan or Hongkong. Our private time never could be private anymore.
I hate when she used my status as a Formula One driver to raise her popularity. Even one of the magazines compared us with Angela – Baron Chen which I hate so much. I hate whenever I was being compared with him. It was still acceptable if they compared me based on our achievement as drivers. But I hate to be compared with him as a man because Baron left a bad impression in me.
The one that made me felt worse about our relationship was when she rejected my engagement proposal. She didn’t know how much I hurt by her rejection.
I said a lot of reasons but the main reason was her. It was Ella that became my main reason to break our relationship. As a man…. I felt so selfish. I felt like how come I suddenly changed my heart. If you counted this as a betrayal… so let it be then. She came in the right time. She impressed me on the right spot. Her presence filled the emptiness in my heart.
Her true acts, her sincere smiles, her soreness in her eyes, her strong look even I knew she has a weak spot….
There is something about her that made her become a special one… The most special side of her was her daughter. I fell in love with her daughter and I knew there was only a special woman who could raise this special little girl. That woman was Ella.
Perhaps parts of me found points from Ella that I couldn’t find in Charlene anymore. But Ella was more than her.
People said… men could love two women at once. But I didn’t. I didn’t know it was a fortunate or unfortunate. When I realized that I loved Ella… I knew that I didn’t love Charlene anymore.
Perhaps I didn’t love Charlene anymore since a long time ago. Since I realized that she couldn’t support me with the most important thing in my life which was my career as a driver and when I knew I couldn’t support her with her career too which was because I knew I will never used into celebrity’s life. When we knew, we couldn’t step further. We would just stick here without knowing the intention of this relationship.
3 months ago, at that afternoon after I confessed to Ella, I rushed to Charlene’s apartment. I was shocked when I opened her door by the key that she gave into me, she was there and not alone.
She was there with someone. With a man that I thought as his co-partner in movie. Making out in the couch.
I didn’t angry. I just stood there and said I need her 5 minutes.
She cried and apologized to me. I said…. There was nothing that need to being apologized for.
She betrayed me, so did I. The difference was I caught her up with her betrayal and she didn’t. Our relationship was not stood in truth foundation anymore. I knew it was not a simple process until we face betrayal from each other. The building of our relationship had been broken. It was broken when we couldn’t complete each other anymore. When we couldn’t support each other anymore.
I hugged her yesterday, to stop her crying. I slowly explained to her about Ella. She cried harder when she heard about that. Then I asked her “Do you still want to continue this broken relationship”
She shook her head. She used her own hands to wipe her tears. “I realized Chun. I realized this relationship was not healthy as before. I miss our past moment Chun. When everything was better for us.”
“I miss those moments too Charlene. But we both know that we never could walk in the past. We just could walk in the present.”
“I knew. The best thing for us now is separating. I want you to be happy Chun.”
“I want to be happy Char. I also want you to be happy. And I know that this decision will make us happy. I still chase for her Char. I didn’t know about you.”
She smiled and said. “About me? I want enjoy my life first Chun. I even didn’t serious with that guy.”
“If that makes you happy then.”
“Do you think I will find a nice guy like you?” She asked me.
I shook my head, “I don’t know. But someone ever said to me…. To have friends.. you should be a friend. Perhaps to find a nice guy, you should be a nice girl?”
“So I’m not nice then!” She moved away from my hug.
“You said it by your self. I didn’t say anything.”
She laughed. I laughed. We laughed in sadness. When we could laugh in sadness, that means we grew stronger. Stronger than before.
I never regretted my relationship with Charlene. There were more happy moments than sad ones that I encountered together with her. But sometimes even just little thing that disturb it…. It could make it end like this.
There was something about Charlene that made me ever love her. But there was something about Ella that made me sure she was the one and only.
I pressed the shift + delete button in the keyboard. It stated “Are you sure to delete this folder permanently?”
I didn’t think twice to click on “yes” option. I deleted that folder. Who knows that someday I will create a new folder with a special password too? I didn’t know but I hoped so. I even already knew what password that I will choose for this special folder.
I checked my email and I knew there must be a replied email from her. Call me naughty and tricky but I always see her P.S. first.
It stated:
P.S. Your email makes me can doing something while waiting for my flight. I didn’t say that I’m boring tough since I still confuse with the possibility of rain in the next 3 days. Don’t dream about me tonight although you know I will arrive tomorrow in Australia, because it will be a nightmare. You will receive a load of works from me.
I smiled and immediately typed for P.S reply first
P.S. Any works Madam, I will be so exciting as long as I receive them from you. “ANY” works. I received “ANY” works.
P.S.S My stamina is on the top don’t be worry, although it will be tired after “dream” about you though. Perhaps yeah you are true. Because I will be tired… “dream” about you could be a nightmare.
Ella… Even if my password will consist of only 4 letters and it will not secure at all… I will gladly use it. I just couldn’t wait until the time come and allowed me to use it.
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[Author’s Note]: Nothing that I could say here… lol… Another slow progress from this story… but because I just a selfish writer…. So I let it… ha ha… I was enjoying writing this FF so much honestly. Hope you can leave comment, so it could boost my spirit… lol…
[Comment’s Reply]:
- Jasmine: I knew of course. It is a special one Jas, I told you. Singapore blessed that they can held it, really. It will be in road circuit *which is must be exciting* and will be held at night!!!! OMG… cant wait to see it. Perhaps in one year or two after I finished my study and work I could go there and see it >_ _ ___ _ _<