| Fan Fiction |
by SeventhStar
Title: 7/10
This title is quite unique. Even though it’s not that eye-catching, it relates to your story well.
Poster: 7/10
The quote is rather long – too long, in fact. I don’t think reader will be bothered to read it and there’s grammatical error in it. But the poster was really nice, but since you had the racecar in your background, I thought more emphasis should be put on the characters.
Background: 8/10
I like how you’ve added the racecar instead of repeating with the characters.
Forewords: 8/10
Nice forewords. It gives the reader a hint of what will happen next.
Plot: 9/10
This is my first time reading about racing, and it got me interested. It was well developed. Good job! :DD
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 11/15
I’m glad that you’ve decided to learn grammar! You used the three dots ‘…’ too often. It’ll be like trying to capture the reader’s attention by using the three dots to signify a pause, which is okay, but using it too often will backfire. Another thing is your dialogue. You need to put a comma after the word ‘said’ or ‘shout’, etc. Besides this, there’re some places where you missed out the commas.
Creativity: 12/15
Some of your ideas were cliché, but then again, all good writers copy from each other. The racing was unique, yes, but do try to brush up on your creativity. If you’re rushing through this story, your creativity level will slip. So don’t rush, plan well, and think of lot’s of ideas!
Writing style: 4/5
I like how you described almost everything. However, you had a lot of dialogues, which is not advisable.
Reader friendly: 5/5
No problem. You replied every single commenter and explained to them so you are very approachable! :)
Characters: 5/5
Chun’s and Ella’s pairing is nice. =]
Flow of story: 9/10
The flow is just right but your chapters are a bit too long for my liking.
Bonus: 5/5
Your story is so nice and I like it when you didn’t give up when you said no one wants to be your beta reader. Instead, you’re going to learn grammar after your job training! This is good news!
Total score: 80/100
Continue to improve (especially on your grammar)! Hope you like my review. XD
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Thanks for reviewing dearie….. Your suggestions are really good…. ^^
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