| Fan Fiction |
by .flavored
~*~
Just because you trained for something doesn't mean you’re prepared for it.
-Anonymous
~*~
It was very noisy in the Super Junior apartment.
That was per usual.
What was unusual was that the sounds emitting from the Super Junior apartment weren’t from human mouths, but rather from stuff breaking.
The ahjumma that Leeteuk hired to keep the dorm clean for them stopped short at the door. She sighed, put her cleaning tools back into the cart and began to turn around.
At that moment, Ryeowook and SoRi stepped out of the lift. It had been a week since the good doctor and his nurse had become common sights in these noisy corridors.
He had an excellent memory and as such knew the cleaning lady by sight. “Ah, good day to you, ahjumma! Aren’t you going to go in?”
The cleaning lady eyed the polite doctor then shook her head, sighing. “No. No point. I’ll have to wait till Heechul-sshi has finished destroying the place before I clear up.”
“Eh?”
“He always does that when he’s irritated. Though he hasn’t been doing it for a while… I’ve been hopeful… ah well, since it’s back it’s back! I’ll just go out for a smoke first.”
Okay, maybe it wasn’t so unusual.
Dr Kim blinked. “Wait. Wait! What do you mean Heechul-sshi is destroying the place?!”
The ahjumma eyed the doctor. “I meant what I meant. Go in if you want to see, but you’d better be ready to duck. Now, excuse me.”
SoRi and Ryeowook looked mystified at each other. Then the doctor in Ryeowook took over and he quickly marched to the front door of the apartment. Taking out the key Leeteuk had given him for the doctor’s convenience, he was about to open the door when…
SoRi quickly grabbed the doorknob, stopping Ryeowook from turning it. “Er… maybe I should go first?”
Dr Kim raised his eyebrow, and gently pushed SoRi away, pulling open the door. “What for? Don’t worry. I’m sure it’s not that bad– Umma!”
SoRi chuckled as she placed the vase that had been close to braining Ryeowook, safely onto the floor. She had caught it barely 3 centimetres from his face. “You know, you can stop clutching onto me now.”
“Eh?” Ryeowook blinked then realized that he was indeed clutching onto SoRi. He jumped back with a start. “Oh, erm… sorry.”
SoRi couldn’t help herself. She burst out laughing.
“Er… SoRi…” on other days Ryeowook would have been offended. Not today. “Laugh later. Move now.”
And he pushed her out of the way of a flying pillow.
SoRi’s eyes widened then burst out laughing again.
Ryeowook stared quizzically at his Soul. “What’s so funny?”
“Ahhahaha… Hello.. hah.. Kitty… pillow….Hahaha!” SoRi collapsed onto the floor. “PINK! WAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Ryeowook shook his head. SoRi was usually the more level-headed out of the two of them. But, she was prone to outbursts of random weird reactions. This was one of them.
“Talk about bad timing.” Dr Kim sighed, then set out through the war zone on his own.
‘War zone’, was the understatement of the century.
The place was covered with broken pottery, ripped pillows, broken chairs… and various random items were still flying his way.
After dodging three teacups and its matching teapot, a Looney Tunes bolster, a car magazine and some flying daggers, Ryeowook finally got into the room in time to hear Leeteuk trying his best to pacify Heechul.
Well… if screaming “Heechul-ah! Stop!” over and over again could be called pacifying.
“RAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STTTTTTTTTUPIDDDDDDDD ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
At least that was what Ryeowook thought Heechul was screaming.
Ryeowook did the sensible thing. He blinked.
“Aigoo! Heechul-ah! Stop before you break your leg again!” Miseon yelled back at the furious Heenim.
‘Ah… that explains why she hasn’t tackled Heechul yet. Nor anyone else.’ Dr Kim thought sagely. ‘Now… how to get him to stop.’
Whatever Ryeowook had planned, it wasn’t needed.
For at that moment, Heechul lifted up something clad in a black-lace dress. “Nyergh!!!! Stupid DOLL!”
“…!” Leeteuk’s eyes widened in horror. “Heechul! That’s no doll! That’s Alice-sshi!”
Heechul paused.
Dr Kim took his chance. Thinking fast, he ran up to Heechul, ignoring the crunch of pottery under his shoes, and lifted up his arm mightily to…
… stuff a pacifier into Heechul’s mouth.
Stunned, Heechul dropped Alice, who was immediately caught by Yesung dashing out from his hiding place.
Of course, Yesung, being Yesung, went too fast and slipped.
Luckily, the mistaken doll was lithe, managing to land on her feet and grabbing her Guardian before he became a porcelain porcupine.
Heechul glared at Dr Kim, who was busy brushing off his hands in satisfaction. He spat the offensive pacifier out. “What the hell was that for?!”
“It was to…” Dr Kim gestured around him. “…stop hell.”
Heechul blinked. Then surrendering, he began wobbling out of the room on his crutches. “Aish. Alright… I’m going to the bathroom.”
With the destructive (half-lame) rhinoceros safely out of the room, everyone began to come out of their hiding places.
“Wah!” Hankyung patted Ryeowook on the back. “That’s the first time I’ve ever seen Heechul defeated like that! Pei fu! Pei fu!”
Even Wichan, who was back with Hankyung from their training, seem mildly impressed. “So what the others said was true. You can control our personal rhinoceros.”
At that moment, SoRi came through the door, having stopped her laughing fit. She stared hard at her Guardian.
“Omo… that was scary…” Hirin sighed, brushing dry instant ramen out of her hair. Heechul had thrown a cup of it above her hiding place and it had exploded.
Ryeowook sighed. “It certainly was. Did he just do this with a broken leg?”
“Er…” Hankyung wondered if it wasn’t obvious to the doctor. “Yup.”
“Then… if he was fully healed...”
“There probably wouldn’t be an apartment left.”
“Oh…”
There were three people in SoRi’s way. She knocked them over like bowling pins and was just in time to catch Ryeowook as he collapsed to the floor.
“…” Leeteuk blinked, then asked the question everyone was thinking. “Did he just… faint?”
SoRi sighed. “Yup.”
“…”
~*~
People knew when Kangin and Yoonji came home.
“I’M HOME!”
See?
“Omo! What’s this mess? Aish. It’s Heechul-hyung again, huh? Who did it to him this time huh? Tell me! I’ll go beat him up!”
Yoonji raised an eyebrow at her noisy Guardian. “That’d certainly be a feat to boast about.”
“Huh? Why? Do you think the guy’s stronger than me?!”
Yoonji stared at her indignant husband, wondering, not for the first time, how the male brain functioned. “No, I’m saying it would be a feat since no one ‘did it’ to Heechul-hyung.”
“Huh? Then why did he…?”
“He’s just a little frustrated that he’s not much use to the group as he is now.”
Kangin just looked confused. “What do you mean he’s not much use to the group? He’s the best fighter! At least, for now, until I get stronger!”
Yoonji face-palmed herself. “Can someone explain it to him in alpha-male terms? I’m going to go unpack the groceries… And help clean up.”
If Kangin was confused before, he was now entirely lost. “What? Hey, hey, Yoonji-ah! What did I say? Wait! Why did Heechul-hyung wreck the room?”
“It’s because Heechul is angry that he cannot fight.” Leeteuk finally spoke up tiredly from sweeping up all the porcelain bits on the floor.
“Ohh…” Kangin understood. “Well, I’ll go cheer him up.”
Hankyung and Leeteuk exchanged an alarmed look.
“No! No! Er… now’s not a good time.” Hankyung quickly blocked the door.
“Why?” Kangin blinked.
“Er… because Miseon and Heechul are both inside.” Hankyung quickly whispered to him.
“So…”
“So…” Hankyung dragged, scrambling for a delicate way to say this. “You know when a man and woman are alone in a room…”
Kangin’s eyes widened. “Oh… I see, I see.”
“They look remarkably like two gossiping ahjummas.” Leeteuk whispered to Hirin, who giggled. “But it looks like Hankyung’s ploy is working.”
And it would have worked. Except at that moment, Dr Kim and his nurse waltzed out of the room, spouting medical terms.
Kangin paused, his brain clicking in comprehension. “Hankyung-hyung… you…”
“Ahahaha!” Hankyung laughed uneasily. “I just…”
“Hankyung!”
“Someone help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
The two medical professionals stopped in their sprouting to stare as Hankyung rushed past them and jumped out of the window without his shorts on, seeing as how Kangin had practically ripped them off in his effort to grab the contractor.
“Come back here!”
“Er… right…” Ryeowook raised an eyebrow at the scene.
“Hmm… I should do that to you sometimes.” SoRi said thoughtfully.
Ryeowook’s eyes widened. “You wouldn’t.”
“Erm… sorry to interrupt, but how’s Heechul?” The motherly leader asked the doctor while still picking up porcelain pieces on the floor.
“He’s fine, he’s fine.” Dr Kim waved the concern off. “He’s healing very well. And judging from the mess he just created today, I’ll say he’s gotten his strength back.”
Leeteuk looked up, puzzled. “Mess?”
“Yeah.” Dr Kim gestured at the floor. “Broken things, furniture overthrown, porcelain pieces everywhere… why is there so much porcelain anyway?”
“Er… oh… because there were many porcelain things to throw I guess.” Leeteuk said distractedly.
“Yeah. Leeteuk buys a lot of porcelain things. On purpose. So that Heechul-oppa can throw them when he gets mad.” Hirin chimed it, busy picking up pillows and brushing them off. “Luckily this floor is wood. It’d be a nightmare picking porcelain from carpet.”
“Yes, that was my thinking when I refused the free carpeting.” Leeteuk murmured. “That’s strange…”
“Er…” Ryeowook looked confused. “Why do you buy porcelain things on purpose? Shouldn’t it be that you don’t buy porcelain?”
“Then what should we buy?”
“Other stuff?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know… like unbreakable stuff?”
Leeteuk finally focused on Ryeowook. “Oh. No. Heechul wouldn’t be satisfied if the things he threw didn’t break. And between cheap porcelain figurines and our television, I’d choose the porcelain.”
“Oh.” Ryeowook blinked.
“Yeah. And er… I think we have trouble flying our way. Literally.”
And at that moment, someone came flying through the window, landing heavily into the middle of the Super Junior apartment.
~*~
“Okay… alright.” Youngsaeng paused on the phone. “Hold on, I’ll check.”
He turned to three groaning mounds of human. “Hyunjoong-hyung, Odoru, Hyungjoon? You three up for a job after a week-long hangover?”
There was a muffled sound that sounded like a unified ‘No’.
“Thought not.” Youngsaeng chuckled, though more to himself.
“Kid! Lunch~ And I have soup for pabo 1, pabo 2 and pabo 3 who got drunk on 250 bottles of beer!”
There was a unified groan of horror.
“And they didn’t even offer me some to add in my recipe! See, I’m so nice~”
“Yeah. I better go before Reii kills them,” Youngsaeng coughed (choked). “Yeah. Bye, Curione-sshi.”
~*~
“I hate it when I’m right.” Leeteuk commented to no one in particular.
No one paid any attention to him. Everyone was focused on the scantily dressed girl who just came flying through the window.
“Doctor coming through.” Dr Kim pushed his way through the through. He examined the unconscious girl, taking her pulse and all. “She’s fine, just unconscious.”
Hirin breathed a sigh of relief, only to see Leeteuk frowning at the girl, his arms folded in a hostile position.
She was about to ask what was eating him, when Leeteuk’s head suddenly snapped up.
“Uh oh.”
That didn’t sound good.
That’s when the big scary tendril lashed right in.
The Super Junior members (plus one terrified doctor and his stunned nurse) didn’t even have time to comprehend what happened. The next thing they knew, it was gone.
It had taken the girl with it.
And their wall.
“What the hell? Where’d the wall go?” the Heenim had arrived, wobbling dangerously on his crutches. Miseon also had come, gaping at the lack of wall, her sabre hanging loosely in her hand.
Quite obviously, they both had been drawn to the scene by the terrific noise.
“Aish! Let’s go, we have a damsel in distress to save!” Kangin, rash as usual, just dashed out, chasing after the tendril.
Yoonji stared after her Guardian, “Well, he certainly is a knight. A 14th century one that is.”
Yesung looked confused. “Why did Yoonji-nuna call Kangin a knight? Isn’t she pissed with him?”
Everyone blinked at Yesung, more at his choice of words than his question. Only Alice answered him. “Er… Knights in the 14th century aren’t fairytale knights. They were pretty much thugs with armour.”
“… Oh.” Yesung blinked. “Isn’t that what Kangin-hyung is? I mean, without the armour that is.”
“…” Alice looked dramatically into the far-off distance. “Let’s just… go, Yesung-san.”
And the clueless pair was off on the back of a Beast of Death before anyone could stop them.
Then Yoonji sighed. “I suppose I better get to Kangin before he becomes fertiliser.”
“Hankyung’s still out there.” Wichan had already unsheathed her sword. “Come, I’ll go with you.”
And the two were gone.
Left behind were only HeeSeon, RyeoRi and LeeRin pairs. Ryeowook and SoRi were still pretty much stunned. Only the four seasoned iDOL members had snapped out of it.
“Damn this leg.” Heechul grumbled. “Aish, you should go, Miseon; they’ll need your help.”
“I’m not leaving you.” Miseon growled. But she was quite visibly torn between defending her Guardian and the promise of a good fight.
“Oppa.” Hirin stared helplessly at Leeteuk, who was uncharacteristically quiet. “What should we do?”
“Mmm… indeed… what should we do?” Leeteuk seemed to be in his own world. “Ex hoc momento pendet aeternitas…”
“What?” Hirin had never seen her Guardian like this before. Heechul and Miseon were now staring at the leader too.
“Hyung, you okay?” Heechul knew Leeteuk. Their leader was the type to have run after his iDOL mates like a worried mother, not standing around spouting weird nonsense. “Hyung!”
At that, Leeteuk snapped out of his musing. He seemed to notice everyone there staring at him. “Huh? Oh, sorry. I was just thinking.”
“Damn straight you were,” Heechul scolded the leader. “And while you were ‘thinking’, all our Dongsaengs ran out after this ‘tendril’ thing they were talking about. They might be dead by now, for all we know.”
Leeteuk smiled cryptically. “Oh, no. I’m sure they're fine.”
“How would you know?”
“They’re a part of Super Junior. And all they’re up against is a big, scary tendril. Besides, I have an idea!” Leeteuk was now acting cute and pretty much himself again.
Hirin smiled, glad that he was back to normal. “What is it, Oppa?”
“Is it an idea that includes me getting to kick tendril-butt?” Miseon grinned foxily.
Only Heechul seemed unconvinced by Leeteuk’s cheeky smile. ‘He’s hiding something.’
But the thought of his Dongsaengs stopped him from ragging the smiling leader. He scowled, glaring at Leeteuk. ‘I’ll get it from you sooner or later, but for now…’
At that moment, as if reading his mind, the leader looked up from briefing the two Souls and smiled at him. “Come on, Heechul, you need to help me with this too.”
Heechul snorted, then sighed. “Fine, what is it, Hyung?”
And so, the whole of Super Junior got back to work.
~*~
“Mi-hee!”
“Shit. Kai, catch!”
There was a loud explosion.
“Aish, damn. They got away.”
“Looks like we failed this time.”
“Curione-sshi will be disappointed.”
Kai gave his Soul a surprised look. For someone who had just failed, he didn’t look very affected by it. “Oh, no. I’m sure she won’t be.”
“You know something I don’t.”
“Yes, I think I do.”
“You’re annoying, Oppa.”
“And you’re beautiful, Mi-hee.”
“… Shut up.”
~*~
“Sungmin-ah! Where are you going?”
The 23 old pretty boy with cherub cheeks and sparkling brown eyes turned around with an absolutely winning smile. “Sorry, Lee-ahjumma! I need to make a delivery!”
“Oh, then that’s fine!” The old lady smiled at the cheerful lad. “But make sure you’re back before peak hour at the restaurant, okay?”
“Sure! See you in a while, Lee-ahjumma!”
“Aish, that boy,” Lee-ahjumma, the owner of the Lee Eatery, turned to the other ahjumma beside her. “I still can’t believe he went behind my back to become a Runner.”
“That was 2 years ago, already,” that ahjumma chided. “You should cut him loose from your apron strings, you know.”
“But he’s my boy…”
The second ahjumma rolled her eyes. “He’s not your boy, he’s your nephew. He should be allowed to do whatever he wants.”
“He’s certainly old enough,” yet another passing by chimed in. “And you still haven’t told him.”
Lee-ahjumma sighed. “No, I haven’t got the chance.”
“Well, then,” the second ahjumma said sagely. “You’ll probably never get the chance then. Something’s going to happen today.”
Lee-ahjumma frowned. “Is this you joking, or is this your Seer power acting up again?”
The second ahjumma shrugged. “Who knows.”
Lee-ahjumma pushed down the urge to strangle her. Instead, she sent a prayer for her precious nephew. “Ah, Gods… or whoever’s listening, please keep him safe.”
She didn’t know that a devil was eavesdropping on her.
~*~
Yesung was getting beaten out of the inch of his life. He wondered whose idea going up against a scary, bad-ass tendril that happened to be connected to a scary, bad-ass tree monster was.
“YAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!” Kangin suddenly flew past, charging at the tendril, only to get slammed right back, not far from where Yesung was lying.
Oh yeah, now he remembered.
“Yesung-san,” Alice suddenly appeared by Yesung’s side, nearly scaring the weird out of him. “I noticed something strange.”
“Eh? What is it?”
“The tree monster doesn’t attack those who leave it alone.”
“How do you know that?”
Alice gestured to Yoonji, who was busy tending to Kangin. “Nuna is totally unscathed. When she ran up close to it just now, it totally ignored her.”
“So… if we don’t attack it, it’ll just leave us alone?”
“That’s right.”
“Then, shouldn’t we stop attacking it?”
Alice hesitated. “Well, that’s only if we not want to care about the girl it has hostage. It’s only interested in her. I got knocked about the minute I tried to get her out of its grasp. I think she angered it or something.”
“Well, I’m glad you think that. Because it certainly proves that Leeteuk-oppa is crazy.”
Everyone stared up at the sabre wielding Soul.
She scowled back at them. “Come on. Leeteuk-oppa has a plan.”
~*~
‘521, Hanyang Aparments, Apgujeong 2-Dong, Seoul… 521, Hanyang Aparments, Apgujeong 2-Dong, Seoul… 521, Hanyang Aparments, Apgujeong 2-Dong, Seoul… Aish! Why is this place so hard to find?!’
Sungmin was pretty much tearing his silky hair in frustration. He had needed to take a train, 2 buses and a taxi to get where he was now. And he was still walking and slightly lost.
‘No wonder Azreal-nunim gave me such a huge tip. Aish… Hmm… Wait, is that it?”
Sungmin stared at a beautifully serene brown building of 10 stories with picturesque landscape. He compared it with the picture Azreal-nim had provided.
It looked a little different with the smoking hole in the left hand second floor apartment, but it definitely was the address.
It took a minute for Sungmin to actually comprehend what he just thought.
That was when he spotted the giant moving tree not ten miles away from it.
Now, any other person would have gasped, backed-up and probably run for his life.
And that’s what Sungmin did.
But not away from the tree, rather, towards it.
He was, quite accurately said, an adventure-seeking boy.
And a giant tree was definitely adventure.
~*~
“Is this it, Hyung?”
Leeteuk looked up from digging through his piles of belongings that he had stored in the back-room. “Oh, yes! Great job, Heechul!”
“That’s me, Heechul the finder.” Leeteuk grinned. It was quite obvious Heechul hadn’t gotten over the leader’s lapse in character.
“Hand it to me, will you, finder?” Heechul gave Leeteuk a sardonic glare as he handed him the plain black flute-case.
Hirin stared curiously at it. “Why do you need a flute anyway, Oppa?”
“Hmm? We don’t. Don’t judge a book by its cover. The case may be for a flute, but it holds something quite different.” Leeteuk flipped open the case.
Inside, was a single arrow.
It was a plain, arrow, made of a strange type of blue crystal. But even Hirin and Heechul could feel the power and technology that had gone into making this arrow.
“What is that?” Heechul asked in awe, reaching out to touch it.
Leeteuk pulled the case away. He rolled his eyes at Heechul’s look of outrage. “It happens to be the sole arrow left from the quiver of the great exorcist, Kangta! Don’t touch it! It may just suck out your soul!”
Hirin’s eyes widened, and she quickly withdrew her fingers.
Heechul knew that when Leeteuk used his “pomp and circumstance” voice, he was usually lying. “Hyung…”
“Oh, alright.” Leeteuk cast a regretful look at Hirin, who had been completely taken with Leeteuk’s story. “It won’t suck your soul, and it didn’t belong to an exorcist called Kangta…”
“I knew it–”
“But,” Leeteuk interrupted before Heechul could go into his ego-mode. “It’s really is very powerful.”
“But how can a single arrow shoot down, that.” Heechul pointed to the giant tree that was waving its roots in the air. He winced as he spotted Kangin getting slammed into Yesung. “What is that anyway? It certainly isn’t the usual weak Biter.”
Leeteuk sighed. “Like I said. It’s been possessed. Which is why we need the exorcism arrow!”
Heechul glared at the leader.
“Aish. Fine. That thing is a carnivorous Biter. Very rare. It grew in size and power from eating other mutated animals. And thus, you get Biter version 2. But it usually doesn’t attack humans unless you disturb it.”
“So how will that tiny thing stop this carnivorous Biter?” Heechul gave the arrow an incredulous look.
“Technology. It will petrify the thing it shoots once the lock-down sequence is initiated. So, yes, we’ll get a giant stone tree in the middle of the golf course, but if that’s the price we’ll pay, I’m fine with it.”
Heechul puffed. “Fine. An arrow, eh? I know just the person who’d be able to use it.”
Leeteuk smiled. “I’m glad we’re on the same page then.”
~*~