| Fan Fiction |
by .flavored
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Title: 4/5
It was really a unique title. It drew my attention from the start. On top of that it surely fit the story with these interesting characters and the relationship they had. It was weird but in a good way, something different. I liked it. Usually someone wouldn't question the contents of their own story in the title, but hey, you did it, and it worked well.
Poster/Background: 10/10
It went with the story perfectly, despite the pink background and the hardcore personalities that seemed to contrast. It actually complimented the story line well. As for the poster, it depicted the two characters in a light that you wouldn't think they had such drastic "conditions". In the middle they looked like perfect school children, which they weren't ...at all. Haha. Plus it was bright and eye catching, not too big and not too small. Perfect.
Forewords: 4/5
The way you put the definitions in the beginning and related it to the story was interesting. It's not something you see often. But it wasn't unimportant, it actually help flow into the story line. And as much as I liked it I still wish you would have put a little teaser in the beginning. Something that has reader definitely want to continue.
Plot: 13 /15
This plot was absolutely amazing to me. It's not everyday, or at least not for me, that you see a story focused around a masochistic girl and a sadistic dude and yet it ended so happily. It was a mot peculiar story line that I just had to finish for the sake of seeing how it would end. I just wished you stretched it out to make it a bit longer. Other than that I thought it was funny and quirky.
Flow: 9/10
Once again I thought it could be a bit longer. Some parts seemed rushed but that's probably because it was about five chapters including the Forewords. But after considering the length of it and what you seemed to have in mind, it flowed just fine.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 9/10
There were a couple of grammar errors but nothing serious. It was written pretty well.
Chapter 3
The guy stared at her, shuddered as if someone had walked his grave and gave the crazy girl a wide berth.
Supposed to be: The guy stared at her, shuddered as if someone had walked on his grave the crazy girl a wide berth.
He liked acting cute, being in the know and wearing white.
Supposed to be: He liked acting cute, being in the middle of things( to say being in the known is correct english and this was the best alternative I could think of) adn wearing white.
I think that's it, like I said, there were virtually no spelling, grammar or punctuation errors.
Characterization: 10/10
The characters were developed well and it was obvious what each character wanted and what type of personality they had. Especially the two main characters and their "disorders("...is being a masochist/sadist a disorder? I don't know...) Anyway moving on, you portrayed them in the perfect light and everyone who was involved had their personality developed to the right extent.
Originality: 9/10
I'm pretty sure I have never come across this before and it was definitely something different. I mean sometimes you see the psychos and the murderers here and there, but you certainly don't see masochists and sadists coming together so perfectly. Also the way you went about it smoothed nicely so it there's a plus as well.
Overall Enjoyment: 10/10
This was honestly a story line that I wouldn't mind reading more often, it sounds bad I know. But I really liked it, I don't know what else to say. Just, it was great. The way you wrote it was fun for me, and I noticed the repetition and thought it helped to prove the point. The way you made the two jokes before you started the actual story made my mouth drop twice. Yeah, I actually fell for that...twice. I also loved how outrageous Soeun and Kim Bum were when it came to fulfilling their wishes. It was funny and out there, something I truly enjoyed.
Bonus: 4/5
Loved it!
The ending had me cracking up.
Heck the whole plot had me laughing.
Great altogether.
Total Score: 82/100
That's weird that it didn't come out higher, but no matter the score, this was a good story. ^^
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A/N: =D Yay, another favourable review XD Haha, nothing can beat Darkess' one though O.o XD The first grammar parts were right though =/ XD Ah well. 'Being in the know' isn't grammatically correct, but I used it as slang =P Ah wells. XD
Hmm... I deserve cookies. *goes buy*