Fan Fiction |
by manggang_hilaw
***
Ah Si had left VS soon after Ximen did. Mei Zhou and Lei watched him leave, knowing he was in a hurry to go home to Shan Cai. Lei was about to follow suit, when Mei Zhou suddenly asked.
“How did you and Xiao You end up together?”
Lei grimaced. “Do you have time?” He asked. He really didn’t want to talk. He just wanted to sleep.
“I’ve nothing but time.” Mei Zhou shrugged.
Lei sighed. Maybe it was time Mei Zhou knew how much Ximen had really hurt Xiao You that night.
Flashback to three years ago, after the rooftop scene.
Lei was just about to get in his car when he noticed a familiar figure walking as though in a daze. He walked
towards her just to be sure.
“Xiao You?”
She looked startled for a moment and looked up at him with unseeing eyes.
Flashback to the present.
“She looked so shattered.” Lei had to stop for a moment. Just the memory of the look of in her eyes almost caused him to choke. “I led her to my car and she just let me. I keep thinking, what if it hadn’t been me who saw her that night? What if some unscrupulous person saw her and took advantage? She was in no state to fight off anyone. I had always thought she looked fragile but that night, she just seemed…it felt like her bones were about to break. I didn’t know where to take her. She didn’t say anything for a long time so I just drove around. I remember thinking, how could anyone stand to see her that way?”
Mei Zhou looked like he was about to say something, but Lei continued on.
“Finally, we had been driving for about two hours by then, she started to come out of her daze. She never did tell me what it was that Ximen did to her that morning or where it was that they did go to. I then learned from her that she was supposed to go back to Canada that afternoon. When I took her home, she kept on saying sorry to me, for keeping me up, for being a bother. Her aunt met us and I was afraid for a moment that she’d …I don’t know…hurt Xiao You for being out so late. So I stayed to make sure. I must have looked pretty weird to her aunt. I hadn’t slept and I had been drinking. But I just couldn’t leave her. Finally, it was time to go to the airport. I took her there. I think I almost hated Ximen then, when I was watching her plane take off.”
Mei Zhou didn’t know what to say. A lump seemed to have gotten lodged in his throat.
“She wrote me an email not long after. Still saying sorry. So we kept in touch. She asked me not to blame Ximen. She said he couldn’t help what he felt. And she told me never to tell Ximen about her so I never did. Eventually, his name stopped appearing in her letters to me but…” Lei stopped. He almost told Mei Zhou that even though she had stopped mentioning Ximen, he’d known she still loved him. He stopped because it wasn’t his secret to tell.
“When I left for Japan, without Shan Cai…” he had to say it “she knew I needed a friend, and surprised me. I don’t know how she managed the fare to go there but she did. And her presence helped. She couldn’t stay for long because she still had school but she helped me get through things. When I came back to give Ah Si the ticket to Barcelona…it wasn’t really my idea. It was hers. I wanted to be selfish. But she told me, that sometimes, the only way to hold on is to let go and the only way to forget is to remember. She was right. By remembering how Ah Si made Shan Cai happy, I was able to let go. And in holding on to F4’s friendship I did learn to forget.”
“Is that what you wanted to know?” Lei finally asked.
Mei Zhou couldn’t speak. He thought that by trying to find out the history behind Lei’s relationship with Xiao You that he could talk Lei into giving her up for Ximen. He had underestimated the depth of their relationship though. Lei’s feelings for her were evident in way he talked about her and Mei Zhou realized that Ximen would have to deal with this on his own. “You must really love her then?” he still had to ask.
“Oh yes.” Lei was emphatic. He didn’t need to tell Mei Zhou that it was more like a brother does his sister. The two of them had been through too much together for them to ever be more. There was a time when they both tried to be more, but Ximen and Shan Cai were always there between them. He sighed. “Yes, I love her.” By helping him save Ah Si’s relationship with Shan Cai, she had also helped keep F4 together, and for that he would always be grateful. Now if only Ximen would realize what he had just let go.