Fan Fiction |
by manggang_hilaw
“Wei?” he answered absentmindedly, his attention still on the papers on his desk.
“Ximen?” the voice on the other end goes through.
…could it be…
“Xiao You?” his voice came out in a croak. His surprise evident in the way his whole body has seemingly frozen.
“What’s the matter with you? It’s Shancai!” the voice laughed and then sobered up quickly. “What do you mean it’s Xiao You? Have you been talking to her?”
The vise that clamped on Ximen’s chest suddenly loosened. “No…no…I haven’t spoken to her since she left for Canada…I just…for a while there you sounded like her…” he explained coolly, trying his best not to let Shancai sense how much the thought of Xiao You calling affected him.
“Oh…well…Ah Si and I are coming home next week. He asked me to tell you to meet us at the airport…” Shancai explained.
“Really? That’s good to hear. How is he by the way?” Ximen asked.
“The pighead is in the toilet…being sick” Ximen could hear a hint of laughter in Shancai’s voice.
“What’s wrong with him?” he asked.
“Ate like a pig…” she started to answer, but was interrupted by a loud voice in the background.
“Who asked for your opinion?”
Both of them laughed. Ah Si is still the same. “Have you told Meizhou and Lei about it?” Ximen asked her again.
“Yes, they’ll meet us at the airport at around 2 pm. Is that ok?”
“I’ll be there. Listen, I need to go now, I have tons of work on my desk that I need to finish by 5. I hope you don’t mind.” He apologized.
“Wow Ximen. You’ve really changed.” Shancai teased. “Okay. I’ll let you go now. Don’t forget Thursday next week ok?”
“Okay. See you then.” Ximen disconnected the call but instead of working on the papers on his desk, he just stared unseeingly at the walls of his office.
Ximen’s POV: Why do I keep on thinking about her? Why do I hear her voice in every woman who talks to me? It’s been a year.
Flashback on the rooftop scene.
Xiao You suddenly seemed to come to her senses. She pulled away from Ximen’s arms and without looking at him, said “Well, it’s morning now…I need to get ready.”
“Get ready for what?” Ximen asked, feeling quite bereft without Xiao You’s embrace.
“My flight back to Canada. The plane leaves at 2.” She whispered, still looking at his shirt and not his face.
“Listen Xiao You…” Ximen began…
“It’s ok.” She interrupted him. “You don’t have to say anything. I understand.”
“What do you understand?” Ximen asked.
XY’s POV: I can do this. I can say goodbye to him without crying. Buckle up Xiao You.
She finally looked up. “That I can never be your girlfriend.” She tried to smile.
Ximen couldn’t think of a word to say to her. Part of him wished he was a different kind of a guy. One who could stick with one girlfriend for longer than a week. Another part of him wished she were a different kind of a girl. One who could be with him for a week and not be hurt in the process. He almost took a step towards her, but she moved back.
“Don’t speak.” She whispered to him. “Let me remember this very moment without a word from you. Let me pretend that you’ve said words that I wanted to hear and that the choice to leave is mine.” She added as she tried to commit his features in her memory.
Ximen’s POV: Why can’t I breathe? This is a good thing right? No hysterics from her. She’s letting me off the hook. No need to make excuses. Say something. No. Don’t. You owe her this much at least.
So they both started at each other for the longest time. Ximen didn’t know what made him bend his head at the exact moment that Xiao You moved towards him, but suddenly their lips met. And everything Ximen thought he knew about the way it feels to kiss someone faded from his memory.
Xiao You couldn’t think. She only wanted to give him a peck on the cheek but his sudden movement caught both of them by surprise. So the kiss went on and on.
Ximen moved to deepen the kiss and Xiao You let him. How can she resist what her heart had been longing for? “I wish that this perfect moment never ends.” She thought as she gave herself up completely to the kiss.
They both lost track of how long it lasted but the need for air made them stop and the words that Xiao You guarded in her heart couldn’t help but escape her lips.
“Ximen, I love you.”
“Xiao You…” his voice came out like a croak. He felt disoriented. He couldn’t think. The sight of her swollen lips made him want to continue kissing her forever but her words shook him as nothing else could. And because it had, he lashed out in fear. “You call that love? That’s lust!” he sneered. “If that’s your pathetic attempt at seducing me then you need more practice.” Then, he laughed as if she was the funniest thing in the world.
She didn’t say anything to defend herself. What was the point? Her perfect moment had already been ruined anyway. Slowly, painfully, she started walking backwards away from him. She wanted to hate him and shout at him, but it just hurt too much.
“Goodbye Ximen.” Her voice was drowned by the wind and he was left standing there on the rooftop, staring at the billboard that she had wanted to show him. He wanted to follow her but because he wanted to do it so badly, he didn’t. That’s the Ximen way right? So why did he feel so empty inside?
End of flashback.===
Ximen slowly came out of his reverie. The memory of that kiss still continues to haunt him even after a year. He had tried to erase it by jumping back to his playboy ways with a vengeance. But nothing ever came close to it. No one ever came close to making him feel the way she had. He often wondered if he’d have followed her if he knew what he knew now. That he wouldn’t be able to feel anything after her. But it was pointless thinking of what might have been. But every now and then, he would go back to that moment in time. When a certain girl made him feel so alive.