Fan Fiction |
by manggang_hilaw
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
“Waiting for you.” He answered as if there was nothing unusual in the situation.
“And you’re waiting for me because…?”
“Why are you wearing Ximen’s shirt?” he ignored her question, his brows knitting in concern.
“I got caught in the rain…he lent me this.” Xiao You explained, hoping he didn’t notice her blush as she recalled last night’s events.
“I see.” His tone suggested that he read more into her statement than what it indicated.
“Nothing happened.” She told him defensively as she walked towards the bed and put her things on top of it.
“Did I say something did?” he asked, giving him his usual expression, a hint of smile forming on his lips.
Xiao You didn’t answer. She walked to the bathroom in an effort to end the discussion.
“Have you told him about us?” his question rose above the sound of water running as she turned the taps on in the bathroom sink to wash her hands.
Xiao You sighed as she turned the water off. She walked back to the room and sat next to him in bed. “I didn’t get a chance to…”
Lei gave her a reproachful look but didn’t say anything.
She fell back to the bed and stared at the ceiling, her legs and feet still planted on the floor. “I know…” she lamented.
“Do you want me to tell him?” he asked as he joined her in the bed so that they were both staring at the yellow ceiling.
“I don’t think it’s going to do me any good. He couldn’t wait to get away from me fast enough…” she tried not to let the hurt be heard in her voice.
“If you were to describe F4’s character in one word, what would it be?” he asked.
Xiao You was used to Lei’s penchant for saying seemingly irrelevant things but which actually make sense to his way of thinking, so she answered “Loyal. You’re all loyal to each other.”
“Right.” Was all he said.
“So?”
“So…even if Ximen felt something for you, which I know he does, he wouldn’t touch you if he knew you were with me.” Lei explained to her patiently.
Xiao You sighed. She’d known that. But although she’d told Lei that she was determined to win Ximen’s love at all cost, the truth was she was more afraid now than she’d ever been before. She didn’t think she could survive another rejection from him this time around.
“Maybe I should give up.” she told him in a small voice.
Lei sat up quickly and looked down at her. “Don’t be stupid!”
The anger in his voice surprised them both. Xiao You didn’t know what to say. Both of them had, in their years of friendship, rarely raised their voices at each other in anger. The only time she did was when she went to see him in Japan after Shan Cai had chosen to stay behind in Taiwan. His despondency and apathetic attitude to life around him had angered her so much that she’d shouted to make him see sense. It was that memory that made her realize why Lei had shouted this time.
She bit her lip in an effort to contain the tears that were threatening to fall. Lei saw it and pulled her up into his arms. “I’m sorry…” he whispered to her hair. He regretted having raised his voice at her but he couldn’t let her give up. He didn’t want her to be a coward like him. He’d given up a chance to be happy with Lin because he was afraid it wasn’t going to last. And even now, when there was a chance that he could be once again, he was still afraid to take it.
“Ximen does love you. He just doesn’t know it yet. Don’t give up on him.” He broke his own protocol and pled for both her and Ximen’s sake. He knew that if Xiao You went away again this time, Ximen would forever be in that limbo he’d been in the last three years and she would stay in it with him.
“I’m just so afraid that he’ll reject me again…” she whispered to his chest as she cried.
Lei put his hands on either side of her face and lifted her head off his chest so she could look him in the eye. “One cannot refuse to eat just because there is a chance of being choked.”
She stared back at him and thought about his words. “But sometimes, people die when they choke…” she answered him in kind.
“I know Heimlich maneuver.” He deadpanned.
Xiao You had to laugh through her tears. “When did you become so smart?”
“I was born this way…” he said as he kissed her on the forehead.
“Thank you.” She finally said. Lei always knew what to say to make her feel better.
“Just returning the favor.” He smiled at her, thinking back to their days in Japan. “Well, if you don’t mind, clinic hours are now officially over. The doctor needs his sleep.” he added as he stood up to leave.
He was already by the door, about to leave, when she called out to him. “Lei…”
He turned to look back at her.
“I know Heimlich maneuver too…” Xiao You’s words held a lot of meaning.
He didn’t answer. He just gave her a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes and closed the door after him.
***