| Fan Fiction |
by Ch3rR!3s
Title: 3/5
The title was boring and it didn't connect with your storyline. If I saw your story on winglin I wouldn't click on it because its a title that doesn't capture my attention.
Poster/Background: 6/10
The poster and bg was okay. The poster was plain the designer could've done more to the poster like better font since it was very hard for me to see the title and the characters names. The colors were good but I didn't like how the pictures turned out, the girl in the middle looked very unprofessional, and the line on the poster, I didn't get. The bg was plain but it made the font easy to read. But out of all these faults the poster still included a title, cast so it was okay.
Forewords: 9/10
Your forewords included all the things that were suppose to be in a foreword, you added a prologue, background information, characters, and an authors note, plus the length was very good. But it was boring. Having a detailed foreword is good but try making it fun and interesting. Don't tell your readers everything about the characters personality, like how you told your readers right off the bat that Taemin likes her, you shouldn't add that. Your prologue was also very boring. While I was reading it, in my head I was like, this is going to be those cliché fics where she does a bet and lose and falls in love ect. You could and should of made the prologue more interesting, like I said don't add too much information where your telling your readers everything about the plot, and try dramatizing the prologue more; to capture your readers attention. So work on the things I pointed out for you, they will help you improve.
Plot: 8/15
The plot is very common upon other stories on winglin, it was also simple and slightly cliché. The plot is overused. I read more than enough of these stories, they are very predictable, through reading your story there was nothing new for me.
Creativity/Originality: 2/10
Like I said on the plot the creativity and originality wasn't there. It was common and simple with other storylines.
Flow: 4/10
I thought the flow was a bit fast, because it was only the first day of school and Onew already had feelings for the girl. Everything that happened in the story was too fast, the feelings, emotions, settings. Everything was rushed, so the emotions and everything that's supposed to be in a story wasn't really there. So next time do a better job at balancing your timeline.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
There were small spelling mistakes here and there they weren't that big of a deal but they were distracting. Your grammar didn't have any problems because almost all of your story was dialogue. Your vocab was basic. You only used simple english, you should expand your vocabulary and user bigger words, it would make your story more interesting to read.
Characterization: 4/10
I didn't get the characters. They were way different from the personalities you listed on the forewords. The way you characterized your characters were also bad. You didn't give them a personality that popped in the story, and when I was reading I didn't really picture them in my head. Since this is your first story you still have time to build your characters. Most authors tend to give their own personality to their characters which makes them different so trying that wouldn't be a bad idea.
Writing Style: 6/10
Your writing style was neat and understandable but, you used a lot of dialogue and not enough description, using a lot of dialogue isn't bad but if you use a lot of dialogue you'll be too caught up in it and you forget to add descriptions which leads to lack of details. In your story there were no details what so ever. You didn't really write anything about what was going on, you didn't write about the setting, the emotions or anything. Because you were too busy with dialogue, through dialogue we can only get so much of the ideas and stuff that goes in the story. So next time try writing a fair amount of dialogue and description.
Overall Enjoyment: 2/5
I didn't really enjoy the story because it was predictable and I don't really like stories that evolves with a rich girl and popular guys, but that's just me.
Bonus: 4/5
I hope my review wasn't too harsh and hope you learn from this somehow. I hope the best on your future stories.
Total: 56/100
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Thank you so much for the review! I really did learn more from this review and don't worry it wasn't harsh!
I understand since I'm a new writer so I know my skills are very suckish so... Yeah thanks again! ^^
I will definately try harder next time!
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P.S. I will update my other story tomorrow!