| Fan Fiction |
by DorKaBLe
Disclaimer: Yes I do owe DBSK so thank you very much! & I’m also the Queen of England! -___- And whoever believes that…seriously needs to go see help.
Beautiful Poster Made By: vy
Title: 30 Theme: Hugs & Kisses
Rate: PG14
Genre: Romance/Angst [Happy Ending]
Pairing: JaeJoong & Yunho
Theme # 15 – Guilt
Guilt…
is the worst human emotion that you will ever encounter and the most unbearable emotion ever. Even if you do apologize for what you have done… the deep emotion will always be there with you. Haunting where ever you go…when you’re sleeping…even in your dreams. Probably even after death…it will keep on haunting you…
I gave out a shivering sigh and pulled my knees up to my chest. Memories of what had just happened a few hours ago flew in the back of my mind.
His lips pressed against mine. They were so soft…yet so different from the ones I’m used to.
My arms flew to my head and I closed my eyes; shaking my head to get the picture out of my mind. How could I? How could I have cheated on him…and out of all of the people…it was his best friend. Why? A tear rolled down my cheek and then another and another…and another.
…
As I got out of my classroom and was planning to walk home, a sweet familiar voice calls me from behind and I turn around. A nasty feeling surrounded my chest as I faced my boyfriend.
“Yunho?” My voice sounds so strange…I can barely recognize it.
He smiled and grabbed my hand. “Let’s go to the mall together. I wanted to buy you a bear from Build-A-Bear Workshop!”
“Wait-” I tried to stop him.
“Common!” He pulls me towards his car.
Again, I tried to stop him by pulling my hand back. “Yunho ah. I’m busy. Let’s go another time.”
Yunho turns around to face me and he makes a cute pout. “JaeJoong ah…I really want to go make a bear for you. Please?”
I felt a painful stab in my chest, making it hard for me to breathe. I coughed and clutched my shirt. All of a sudden the world seemed to be spinning around me.
“Joongie!” Yunho pulled me closer to him and felt my forehead. “You’re burning up.”
Concern was written all over his face. “Joongie ah- are you okay?”
I don’t deserved him… I swallowed the lump at my throat and pushed him away. “I’m fine,” I said harshly. “I just want some time alone right now.”
“Oh…” His voice sounds so sad…so hurt .
The feeling of guilt was wounding its way up to my chest again. I turned around, making my back facing him and I took a deep breath. “Sorry, I just have a headache. I’ll talk to you tomorrow ‘kay Yunnie?”
I heard him sigh before answering, “Okay Joongie. I’ll see you tomorrow then!”
“Right,” I turned to give him a small smile before walking away.
“Joongie ah!”
I stopped and moved my head a bit to the side to hear what he had to say.
“I love you!”
My jaws clenched and I made a fist. I dropped my head and started running as far and fast as I can. Tears…flowed freely down my cheeks and the guilt…was slowly starting to kill me.
…
“Yunho ah,” I started. “I have something important to confess.”
It has been a week or so since the problem had happened. The guilt was getting stronger every time when I saw Yunho’s face and this is why…I’ve decided to tell him the truth.
Yunho stood in front of me and nodded his head for me to go on.
Even before I have opened my mouth, I felt the stinging behind my eyes. Crystal tears were already were already forming and as soon as I looked down at the ground there were wet spots on the floor below me.
“What’s wrong Boo?” He walks closer to me and gently holds me by the waist. “Why are you crying?”
I shivered when I felt the cold wind blew past me. The sky was so cloudy today as if it might rain.
After a few minutes of silence, I took a deep breath and finally let it out. “I’m always so lonely whenever you are at work and so… Yoochun has been staying mostly at home with me. And because you were always so busy with work…last week I…” I bit my lower lip, from sobbing. “Yoochun…we-kissed…”
I felt a small raindrop on my arm.
Yunho dropped both of his arms to his side and I looked up. His face was emotionless and he looked away. He gave out a small chuckle and surprised me by pulling me into a tight hug. He buried his head at the crook of my neck and whispered softly in my ear. “It’s okay…I forgive you…”
I pushed him away. The rain fell, soaking both of us and I continued to stare at him in disbelief.
That was it? No yelling? No screaming? No yelling that he hates me? No screaming that it’s over? I shook my head. “It is not okay! I cheated on you by kissing Yoochun and all you say is that you for-”
Yunho crashed his lips to mine and my eyes flew opened wide. I pushed him away again. “I- I don’t- I mean…I was hoping for you to yell at me.” Suddenly, I was starting to get angry. “Why are you forgiving me so easily?! WHY?!”
“JaeJoong ah…”
Before he could say anything I turned at my heel and ran away. I was so ready… Ready to hear the words… “It’s over”. But instead he forgives me. His voice was so sad and so sincere. I wanted him to hate me. But he doesn’t!
As I continued to run I laughed and cried. I should’ve known; the guilt will never be washed off even when you’re dancing in the rain.
…
*Author’s POV*
Yunho sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He had told JaeJoong that he forgave him for whatever he did, however he just made JaeJoong suffer even more.
He knew JaeJoong was feeling guilty for his actions, but then he couldn’t blame him. It wasn’t his fault. Accidents happen…
‘Accidents? Yeah right…’ He thought.
Yunho swallowed. He was afraid… afraid that he might lose JaeJoong. But if JaeJoong wanted to be set free… ‘I’d set him free…’
…
“JaeJoong, I think we should take a break.”
JaeJoong looked up at Yunho. “What?” His voice cracked.
“I think we should take a break.” Yunho sighed. “You know that we do need a break.”
“But- I thought you said-”
“Yes, I forgive you, but you know as much as I do…that we both need some time alone.”
JaeJoong sniffed. He finally nodded his head and looked up at Yunho, his eyes shining with crystal tears that were threatening to fall.
“Shhh…don’t cry.” Yunho pulled JaeJoong in a hug. He knew all too well that if he kept this up, he’d loose JaeJoong for sure.
…
“WHAT?!” JaeJoong screamed.
Changmin and Junsu winced and plugged their ears.
“Yunho left to Japan?!”
Changmin scratched his head nervously. “Eh- yes uh… Yunho hyung just left yesterday night.”
JaeJoong cursed under his breath.
“JaeJoong hyung, Yunho left a message for you. He said that he forgives you for whatever you do wrong and that… he loves you more than you can ever imagine.”
JaeJoong plopped onto his bed and sighed.
“JaeJoong ah, you should be happy to get a guy like that.” Changmin pouted and rested his chin in his palm. “I envy you.”
“Whatever,” JaeJoong snorted.
…
“Eeik!” JaeJoong squeaked when he felt two arms around his waist. “Yunho?!”
The taller man chuckled and tightened his hold. “I missed you.”
“Yeah right. Sure you missed me,” JaeJoong said sarcastically. He pulled away from Yunho and continued walking.
Yunho smiled and grabbed JaeJoong’s hand.
“You know what?” JaeJoong stopped walking and glared at Yunho. “Stop following me. I can’t believe you left without telling me.”
“Wait- hold up. I left what?”
“Don’t play dumb. You left to Japan and you never told me.”
Yunho blinked and laughed. “Japan? Yeah right. Chunnie and I went talk the problem out.”
JaeJoong stopped walking. “What?”
“Well, we were driving to the store which was pretty far from here. Oh let’s say…6 hours or so. Anyways, I decided to talk the problem to Chunnie. But when we drove back, my car died. That’s why it took us what? A week to get back.”
“THEN WHY DID MINNIE AND JUNSU TELL ME THAT YOU LEFT TO JAPAN?!” The pretty boy exploded. For a whole week he tried to contact for Yunho and it had turned out that he was only 6 hours away from HOME?!
Yunho laughed nervously. “Eh, about that… erm- it was Chunnie’s idea.”
JaeJoong glared at Yunho.
‘If looks could kill…’ Yunho thought.
“I guess… how are things going between you and Yoochun?”
Yunho smiled and looked ahead of them. “We’re cool with each other now. However, there is still one problem”
JaeJoong tilted his head. “What is it?”
“I forgive you, but the question is… do you forgive yourself?”
He looked away. “I… I don’t know.”
“JaeJoong ah… listen,” Yunho pulled JaeJoong, so he could face him. “I love you so much hun. You see… the reasoned why I forgive you is because relationships they don’t always go as we hope and plan. We gotta learn from our mistakes.” Yunho cupped JaeJoong’s face. “That’s what makes a relationship stronger. You learn from your mistakes.”
JaeJoong bit his lower lip and placed his hands over Yunho’s. “I guess… that is true… but I still think I don’t deserve-”
Yunho silenced JaeJoong by pressing his lips against JaeJoong’s. He softly bit JaeJoong’s lower lip, wanting to explore the boy’s mouth. JaeJoong smiled and opened his mouth. He stood on his tiptoes and snaked his arms around Yunho’s neck.
Finally, Yunho pulled back and leaned his forehead against JaeJoong’s. “I should be mad at you… but I can never get mad at you for what you did. You know why?”
“Why?”
“Because I love you too much and I know that you’ll realize your mistake. That’s what relationships are. Not only about being faithful…but also forgiving. Understood?”
JaeJoong nodded. “I’m so…happy and grateful to have a boyfriend like you.” He whispered and tiptoed again. “Who’ll understand my mistakes…and keep on bugging me ‘til I forgive my own self.”
Yunho laughed. He leaned in and JaeJoong giggled before closing the gap between them.
*JaeJoong’s POV*
Hmmm… now I know better not to ever do a dumb mistake like this again. I almost lost Yunnie… it might be because Fate or God gave us a second chance. Whatever, I don’t know but all I know… is that I’m just grateful for having a boyfriend like Yunnie Bunnie. And also, I know that in the future we’ll come through whatever it is that will be in our way.
…………………
*Smiles* Hmmm, I guess writing stuff out makes me happier. XD Hehehe, anyways yes the problem is true…because Y-Y it had happened to me. I just needed to write it out. Well, some parts like the fluffy parts… I made them up. LOL! o_O is it just me or is there 4 new readers? XD I’d like to thanks those who commented:
peaches
DBSKluva4eva: Y-Y Photoshop… *teary eyes* Oh well…I’ll buy it when I’m older. LOL! One more year and finally I’ll get to work! XD AND NO! Your imagination doesn’t suck. No one’s imaginations suck. Trust me =] If you ever write a fic, tell me! I’d be glad to read and support you if no one else does! *Smiles like a dork* Thanks for commenting sweety!
greensunflower_lha: New reader? XD if you are… GAHHH! I’m so happy! *Dances around* Glad you like ‘em. Thanks for commenting hun! And ummm- you’re welcome? *Sweat drops* ^.^*
lover_grls: XD New reader too? Here’s an update for you! Thanks for commenting hun! =]
Sweet Devil: Hello! LOL glad that you like the fic… Chocolate Kisses too huh? Seems like everyone likes that one the most. >o< Hehehe, here’s an update for you too! Thanks for the comment sweety! ^ - ^
chele: Awww, thanks honey. Your comment really made my tiring day brighter than the hot sun outside. LOL…are my imagination that good? XD I think they’re sometimes kind of erm- retarded. LOL…but if “you” or any of the other guys say so… I thank you. Thanks for commenting hun. I’ll try to end with a smile every time I’m done with a chap. Actually take that back… you know what? I am smiling. ^.~
vy: XD Sorry for such a short drabble yesterday! Here’s a longer one! Not to mention the comments and info and all. ^-^* Thanks for commenting sweety!
…
AH! OMG… *pouts* my legs are going to fall off. I swear… PE is tough. Hehehe I love the running except for the exercises [Trust me…they’re kind of erm- retarded…] However I remember freshmen year I didn’t like running at all. I felt as if I was going to faint…make that DIE… even if we were only running for 2 minutes! LOL! This year is so…I don’t know, different? *JUMPS UP AND DOWN* I want to run again! o_O Why the hell am I telling you this? LOL… oh well- see you all later! I’m such a DORK! I love you guys all! Take care! I’ll be back probably tomorrow or so with a new theme so please wait patiently for me! JA!
♥ DorKaBLe