Fan Fiction |
by Jenny Tran
Deana came home that night expecting the house to be quiet and dark, instead she found Jim up and about. He was dressed in sweats with rubber gloves over his hands and an apron across his chest. He was cleaning the whole house “Jim? What are you doing up?” she asked.
He looked up “Waiting for you.” He smiled “I saw you on the news.” He pointed to the television.
“You did?” she looked surprised but then remembered what happened that afternoon “Oh yeah. I got a little present from it.” She pulled up her casted arm that was hiding behind her jacket.
He dropped the mop to the ground and ran to her “Oh my gosh, are you okay?”
She smiled “Yeah, just a few scratches. I’ll be back to work in no time.”
He looked concerned “Its not like you need the work. You own this apartment building.”
Deana’s face dropped “How in the world did you find that out?” it was a secret she kept hidden for so long, no one knew about it. Not even the police station where she worked.
He shrugged “I made a few phone calls.” He picked up the mop that he dropped and continued cleaning.
His words gave her chills as she shuddered at the thought of him knowing her only secret “I see.” She muttered “Well, Im going to sleep now. Don’t stay up too late okay?”
Jim smiled adoringly at her “I won’t….Deana? You’re so good to me.” He said with admiration “I want our kids to be just like you.”
She shivered again but remained cool and gave him her sweetest smile “You think we’ll get married?” she asked calmly, not wanting to trigger any old memories.
“We are married.” He said nonchalantly, she took a step back with a look of horror on her face “Im just teasing!” he said as he laughed and took the mop into the kitchen sink to be rinsed out. “That’s the fun I get from people who know that I use to be a psycho. Not literally speaking that is, because most psycho’s are serial killers and strange people you know?”
Deana smiled nervously “Yeah, I know.” She returned to her bedroom, but she couldn’t shake that strange feeling she had about him. She tried so hard to treat him the same as any of her friends, yet he continued to give her the chills. Deana would eventually shake off the feeling as she psyched herself to believe that he meant no harm.
***********
The next morning Freddie woke up to the sound of the front door closing. His eyes strained to open as he reached over his night stand to look at the time. It was only 6am. ‘She’s already off to work?’ he asked himself. He fell back onto the bed with his eyes closed but his mind awake. He knew she was upset and yet he couldn’t tell her the truth. He didn’t want her to worry about him.
His thoughts again traveled to his mother. Freddie received another phone call from his mother while he was in the hospital. She was crying again, claiming she saw his father’s spirit in the home. She missed him so much and who could blame her? He was her life partner for 36 years. Its like losing your other half. She asked him to move home with her and he hasn’t yet to answer her.
He was more worried for Virginia. He knew she was caught between Jeff and Jeremy, which was more the reason for him to stay with her. She needed a friend at the moment not someone to give her more problems. He eventually drifted back to sleep after thinking too much.
************
Ginny arrived at work early to do some paperwork. She wanted to take her mind off of everything. She began typing some documents on her word processer when a knock at the door startled her. “Come in.” she took a deep breath, wondering who was up at 6:30 in the morning.
“Dr. Chan?” the tall young guy asked, he looked to be a professional himself. Clean shaven and very handsome.
“Yes?” she asked “Can I help you?”
He smiled nervously “Im not sure if anyone can. My name is Michael Lam.” The name sounded so familiar yet she couldn’t put her finger on it. “Im Freddie’s youngest brother.” He finally said when she looked blankly at him.
Her faced brightened up “Oh yes, he’s talked about you a few times. You’re the surgeon in the family huh? Well, its certainly nice to have finally met you.” She stood up from her seat and shook his hand.
He nodded “I guess we’re both doctors. He’s told me quite a lot about you. I got your address from a business card that I took from him. Apparently he has about 10 in his wallet so I figured he won’t miss one.”
She smiled “Yeah, he’s doing a bit of advertising for me. You didn’t have to take it from him, Im sure he’ll give it to you if you asked.”
Michael nodded “I know, but I didn’t want him to know that I wanted to see you.”
Her face fell “I see. But what makes you think that I can help you? I assume being a surgeon yourself would mean that you’ve taken a lot of courses in psychology?”
“That may be so, but it doesn’t mean that I can solve my own problems? Haven’t you heard of the saying ‘Doctors can cure others but they can’t cure themselves?’ Its true because if you think about it, we were taught how to help others or save others but when it comes to our own problems we’re pretty much stuck.”
Virginia’s eyes turned down to her fingers “That’s very true.” She said softly, then her head shot up “Well, what can I do for you?” remembering that someone needed her help.
“I know it’s probably not your department. I’ve been diagnosed with severe depression in the last few months. I’ve been going to therapy in hoping that it would be cured. But it seems to be getting worse.”
She observed his movements and they were calm and very normal. There was no way that anyone can tell he was depressed, even herself. “You hide it quite well.” She complimented.
“Too well. Even my mother doesn’t know.” He let out a sigh “The person I appear outside is just a shell to show people that nothing’s wrong, but once I am alone in my room, I break down. I’ve given up on everything and Im such a pessimist and the ironic thing is that I was an optimist at one time. Suicide has crossed my mind about a week ago that’s when I realized how serious this was.” He seemed embarrassed from being honest with her.
Virginia got up and walked around the table “Its not bad that you can admit you were suicidal at one time. Most of the patients go through a denial stage before they actually come to me for help.” She took a seat across from him “You didn’t seem to go through that stage.”
“I know what I feel, that’s the difference. But I can’t seem to understand why I am so depressed about.”
She looked thoughtful “Have you ever asked yourself what’s made you sad?”
He shook his head and stared at his hands “Everything seems to make me sad, which is even harder for me to find the source of the problem.”
“Is it work?” he shook his head “Family? Love?”
“I know seeing my mom so depressed has made me sad but I doubt that she was the cause of my depression. I’ve even tried to cheer her up a few times, but when I realized that she would be sad for a long time to come, I gave up. As for my love life? I don’t even have time for a girlfriend with my profession. Im on call all day long, that’s why I came early this morning hoping that you would be here. I heard from Yee Gor that you are an early bird.”
“That nosy guy.” She muttered with a smile on her face “Well, if it’s not family and not love?” here eyes pierced through his as she searched for his problem, his eyes eventually moved away from hers indicating that he was indeed hiding something. “Are you having problems finding love? You just said that you don’t have time but you never said that you didn’t want one.” Her perception of the situation was sharper then ever.
He looked up, his eyes full of admiration “My brother was right, you are very sharp.” He sighed and nodded “I was in love, I mean head over heals for this girl that I met at the hospital. She was a patient and you know our rules about getting involved with patients. But she was just so captivating and so full of life. When I got curious and read her medical records, I found out that she had a terminal illness. Her liver was giving up on her and there were no doners. Her doctor said she had two months to live. I tried everything I possibly could to save her. Take more classes to learn about livers and maybe some new medicine to help save her. You never know how important someone is to you until they are faced with death. Maybe it was God’s choice to not let her suffer. She died in a month.” His eyes brimming with tears as he explained “I was so depressed after that.”
“You feel that being a surgeon yourself, you should be able to save everyone?” Michael nodded “She may not be your patient but you treated her like one. So you feel useless cause you couldn’t even saved her. This is my opinion. It wasn’t love, it was your passion for saving lives. You just didn’t want to let one go.”
His forehead wrinkled as he thought about her words “You think so?”
She shrugged her shoulders “Is my opinion. I go through the same thing every time a patient walks in here. I try my best to help them and when they leave I hope that it has made a difference after talking to me. But sometimes it doesn’t help, I was so devasted when I learned that one of my old patients was still suicidal. Fortunately, he changed his mind at the last minute, I would have been a mess.” She leaned back on her chair, getting comfortable with him there.
Michael tilted his head, a natural smiling forming on his lips “Somehow I doubt that, I imagine you being very cool and collected. Nothing seems to bother you.”
“I guess that’s why they call us Shrinks? We make situations seem smaller than they really are.” She was joking but he looked serious. She laughed “I was just kidding. Anyways, just remember that we can’t save everyone, that’s God’s choice. The more pressure you put on yourself, the harder it is to help the ones that need it. You might overlook a few people when you were so deep in your own depression, you forget that life is about death. Don’t worry too much. Things come for the good, not for bad.”
He nodded with a complete grin on his face “Thanks, I feel a thousand times better than the past few months. My brother was right, you are amazing.”
She blushed as she turned away “Freddie said that?” she asked timidly.
Michael continued to smile “You know for a person so intelligent and in synced with the world, you seem to be shy when it comes to my brother, or is it ALL guys?”
“I just don’t take compliments easily. But you’re brother? Boy, he’s different alright. Sometimes you want to strangle him and there are times when you just want to hug him.”
“That’s a good perception of him. Although we’re not that close as I would hope, I could see what you mean.” He checked his watched and realized its been an hour since he walked into her office “Oh goodness, Im gonna be late for my first operation.”
“We wouldn’t want that now would we? It was a pleasure meeting you.” She said sincerely as she followed him to her door.
“It was a pleasure having you help me.” He was a bit reluctant as he leaned in and gave her a hug. She was surprised but didn’t want to make him uncomfortable so she returned the hug warmly. He was tensed but suddenly relaxed at her embrace “Thanks.” He whispered before pulling away.
She smiled to herself as she returned to her work. It was always nice to feel that she’s made a difference in someone’s life.