Fan Fiction |
by Jenny Tran
It was one minute until class officially started as Billie got up, ready to close the door when she felt a hand pushing at the door “Sorry…” the female was completely out of breath.
Billie looked at the girl strangely “Are you in this class?”
“Yes.” Anesa nodded as she handed her a yellow crumbled up paper “I just signed up today.”
“Great, come in, we’re about to start now.” Billie smiled as she girl bounced her way into the classroom and looked around.
Travis buried himself in his chair as he tried unsuccessfully to hide from his friend, never realizing that Kyle was doing the same thing. Anesa saw Travis in the back of the room as she skipped her way to the top of the steps and made her way next to him “Psst! It’s me.”
“What are you doing here?!” he hissed.
“You can’t have all the fun. I want to meet your bitchy teacher.” She winked and turned her head at the guy hiding behind his sleeve “You must be Kevin.”
“Shhh!!” Travis shushed her as he caught Billie’s gaze to the back of the room.
“I’d like to welcome everyone back here for the second session. I’m surprised I haven’t scared any of you away yet. Instead we have a new student.” She looked down at the roster and then up “Anesa.”
The girl shot her hand up as if she was in grade school “Yes, Miss Cheng.”
Billie laughed, “Why don’t you tell everyone a little about yourself?” she made herself comfortable on the desk while Anesa stood up.
“Well, my name is Anesa Yung. I’m currently single…but looking.” She added coyly making Travis sputter with laughter “I like long walk on the beaches and talk, dark handsome men to take home and be naughty with.” She nodded firmly at the group.
“Don’t we all?!” one girl belted out making the group laugh louder.
“Amen to that!” a man obviously gay answered.
Billie grinned as she crossed her legs “Yes, most of us are.” She nodded and clapped her hands together “Today, we’re going to do something different. I want to split the class into two groups. The men on the left and the ladies on the right.” She pointed. The class turned to each other strangely while Billie raised her brows “I don’t mind wasting time, we do have two hours.” She tapped her watched. Slowly the people began to merge according to her request. She popped off the desk and stepped closer to the class “I’ve had a few complaints that I was picking on the men too much. So, I’m going to give the ladies a little hard time today.”
“Yeah!” Kyle couldn’t help but roar out. He found a guy in the front of him with a baseball cap as he grabbed it and put it over his head. The guy spun around in shock as Kyle slid him a hundred “I’ll buy it from you.” The guy seemed okay as he shrugged it off and took the money.
Billie turned to the girls “Okay, I want to ask the women. What is the worst thing a guy can do during a date?”
“Pick his nose!” Anesa threw out.
“Did he happen to be a gorilla?” Billie teased.
“He might as well be, he was damn hairy.” Anesa shuttered.
The girls laughed while the guys were not at all tickled. Billie shook her head “I meant personality.”
One girl raised her hand “Lying. A few months ago, I dated this guy that assured me that he was older than me by two years. I eventually found out that he was actually younger than me three years.” The girls hissed with disgust as she nodded “Needless to say, that was over with.”
“Some guy lied about his size.” Another girl offered the information.
Billie shook her head and turned to the men “Guys, you should take down notes.”
“Oh Miss Cheng, please go easy on the girls.” Kyle begged with a roll of the eyes.
She laughed and gave a short nod “Okay, payback. Guys, what is the worse thing a girl can do on a date?”
Instantly, Kyle raised his hand “Talk until our ears bleed.” The guys chuckled at the reply while the girls this time found it not at all amusing.
“And?” Billie pressed.
Anton raised his hand “Leave during a middle of a date.” He dared her.
“Ouch!” Kyle blurted out while Travis smirked.
“Alright.” Billie nodded as she turned to the girls again “Ladies, what is the number one reason why a guy deserves to be deserted during a date?”
“When he’s being an ass.” A girl answered quickly.
“Honesty.” Anesa blurted out.
Billie pointed to the girl in the front row “Bingo! Honesty. Tell me guys, why do you find it necessary to lie to a girl? Is it because you think that is what she wants to hear? Here’s some free advice, don’t lie at the beginning. It will only come back to bite you in the ass when and if you two get together. It’s a fact of the dating world, women like an honest guy and guys like to impress women with their knowledge or body and looks. Sometimes they lie just to get what they want. To a man, looks mean a lot when he’s searching for a potential date.”
“I disagree!” Travis stood up suddenly causing all eyes to turn to him “I have never tried to impress a woman with lies just to get her into bed. And I’m sure half of these guys agree with me.” A few nods joined him “And I do not look for a beautiful woman off hand.”
“Okay. Let me try a little trick that I learned in psychology.” Billie waved for one of the guys to come down to the front “Close your eyes.” He did as she asked, “Picture your perfect girl.”
“Done.” The guy smiled perverted while the girls groaned with disgust.
“Describe her.” Billie said.
“Thirty six, twenty four, thirty four.” He smiled “Big eyes, long dark hair, silky skin and an amazing smile.” He finished.
“Thank you.” She motioned him to return to his seat. She nodded to Travis “Would you like to try?” He nodded and walked down in front, no fear written all over his face “Be honest. Close your eyes.” He did “Describe what the perfect girl looks like.”
Travis replied in a relaxing voice “She has no face.”
Billie tilted her head strangely “How would you describe her then?”
“She’s funny…makes me laugh just by making a funny face, she’s silly at times and serious when needed. She’s intelligent and we have great conversations about anything and everything. She never belittles anything I say especially when it comes to my feelings. She’s understanding when I’m not always there for her and she is loving whenever I need it.” He finished and opened his eyes to a silent classroom.
He turned to Billie, whose eyes had softened as she looked at him differently “You really believe that?”
He nodded firmly “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t believe it.” She motioned for him to return to his desk and on the way up, one of the guys got up and knelt down.
“Will you marry me?” he asked making the class crack up.
Travis laughed, “Sorry, I don’t swing that way.”
“I’ll wait.” The guy joked as he sat back on the chair “Try the girls!” he suggested.
Billie agreed “Okay, any volunteers?” Anesa was one of the first to raise her hand. Without waiting for Billie to call on her, she popped from her seat and approached the front “Anxious aren’t we?” she grinned, “Okay, close your eyes and picture the perfect man.”
“Alright.” Anesa answered.
“Describe him.” Billie said in a soothing tone.
“He’s obedient and does whatever I tell him to do. Wears whatever I want him to wear and always has a smile on when I’m around to keep me happy.” She opened her eyes excitedly “What does that mean?”
Billie patted the girl on her shoulders “Congratulations, your ideal mate is a dog.” The girls laughed while Anesa scratched her head strangely “You might have a little control issue.” Billie ushered her back to her seat “We can work on that.” She glanced at the wall clock and turned to the group “We have a little over an hour left. I want everyone to write down their worse pet peeve of the opposite sex during a date, pass it to one of the guys and each of you will get a chance to read it out loud.”
For the rest of the night, she tried to ease up on the sarcastic comments usually directed towards the men. Her eyes caught Travis looking at her a few times but she ignored it, not wanting to cause more attention to herself. After class, Anton approached her desk as he smiled weakly “I’m sorry about earlier this week. I should have told you that I couldn’t eat sushi.”
Billie smiled softly “That’s alright. I shouldn’t have left you hanging.”
He let out a sigh of relief “I thought you would be upset.”
“Ahem!” Kyle cleared his throat loudly.
“You’re driver is waiting.” Billie snickered. She frowned at the Kyle, he was now wearing sunglasses on top of the silly cap “I’ll note to dim the lights for the next session.” She teased.
Travis was walking out with Anesa when she suddenly stopped behind Kyle and felt a sudden urge to yank off his cap. He yelped when his hair was exposed and she spun him around and peeled off his sunglasses “Kyle!!” she pointed with widened eyes.
He tried to play dumb with a shaking head “No, I’m Kevin.”
“Do you think I’m stupid not to recognize your face?!” she asked dangerously “And your voice, it’s still the same sickly, gay, high toned just like in high school!”
“I…I…don’t know you.” He tried to play it off.
“Really?” Anesa placed her hands on her hips “Let me refresh your memory. I’m your girlfriend! Technically, YOU never broke up with me.”
Billie giggled with a shaking head “This is a first.”
“Is this true, Kyle?” Travis asked his friend.
“Well…maybe.” He replied weakly.
“Okay, that’s it…come on. We’re taking this outside!” Anesa raised her voice.
Billie nodded in agreement “Yes, I don’t want blood in my classroom.”
“Wait…now just wait a minute. We’re all adults now.” Kyle argued.
“Apparently not, it’s still high school for you two.” Billie added the wood to the fire.
“You stay out of this!” Kyle pointed at her threateningly.
“Hey, I’m only stating the truth.” Billie raised her hands in defense.
Anesa crossed her arms impatiently “Fine, you want to play kid stuff. For years I lived my life without closure. I just need to you tell me something.”
Kyle wrinkled his brows in confusion “What?”
Billie rolled her eyes “That answers the question why you’ll never find the girl of your dreams. She wants you to break up with her.”
“Oh…” Kyle scratched his head “Okay…Anesa, I want to break up with you.”
She instantly cooled down “There, that wasn’t too bad was it?” she patted him playfully and turned to Travis “Let’s go!”
Travis frowned strangely at Kyle “I’ll call you some time.”
“Okay.” He turned to Billie, who had on a smug smile “What now?”
She shook her head “Nothing.”
Kyle nudged his friend in the rib “Do you know?”
Anton shook his head and pulled his friend out of the room “Come on.”