Fan Fiction |
by Jenny Tran
After Lance left the room, it was almost dead silence. I inched myself closer to Neil as I watched him sleep, or was he even sleeping? All I know was he looked so peaceful lying on the bed. I took a hold of his hand as I sandwiched it between mine. “I’m sorry…” I muttered. I was too choked up to even talk.
Suddenly, his eyes fluttered open as he closed them and opened them again as if he was coming in and out of a trance. “Angel?” it was barely audible.
“Yes…Neil, you’re awake.” I continued to whisper but I was more excited this time. “You’re going to be okay.” I reached out and smoothed the hair that was over his eye. “Doesn’t that bother you?” I asked.
He shook his head “No, not to a blind person.”
My heart nearly jumped out of my skin as I pulled away from him “What?” I thought I was hearing things.
“I’m blind, Niki.” He said ever so calmly, making me feel even worse inside. He’d known since the accident?
“But…how?” I knew it was a medical question but I didn’t know what else to say.
“It’s okay. I’ve come into terms with it. I’ll just be in permanent disability, that’s all.” He said it so nonchalantly.
“You were always there for me, so I’ll always be there for you.” I felt a tear creep out of my eye as I quickly wiped it afraid that he might find out I was crying.
“Is that the only reason why you said that?” he asked. He didn’t even notice that I had slipped.
“And because you’re my best friend. For years I lived my life in solitaire, going to school and then working part time. If it weren’t for you, I might have gone crazy by now.” I giggled at how ironic the last line was.
“What’s so funny?” he asked curiously.
“Nothing…I’m just laughing at how ironic life really was. You don’t know what you’ve lost until it’s gone.” He wrinkled his forehead in pain “What’s the matter?” I asked with concern when I noticed he looked like someone had bit him.
“It hurts.” He whispered as he closed his eyes waiting for the pain to pass over.
“Should I get the nurse?” I asked as I got up ready to race outside but he reached for my hand and pulled me back.
“No, no…I don’t think it’ll help.”
I knew he was saying the unthinkable “No, you’ll be okay.”
He shook his head tiredlessly “No…Niki, you need to face the facts. Look at me. Do I look healthy to you?”
Of course he didn’t, he had tubes running through every part of his body and his face was as pale as a ghost. “You look fine.” I said unconvincingly.
“He smiled. Same old Niki…glad to have you back. Or were you ever gone?” He winced in pain again.
“I can’t see you like this, I’m going to get the nurse.” I began to get up.
“NO!” he yelled as he sat upright and just as soon as he did, he began choking and coughing uncontrollably. “It’s usless!” he waved his hand in front of himself looking for me.
I was crying so hard that I had to press my hand over my mouth to keep the sound from coming out. After a moment, I returned to the chair next to him as I reached for his hand “I’m sorry…” it was all I could say.
“Don’t say that.” He whispered and then began to hypervenilate. I’ve never seen anyone do that before so I was frozen from fear and I knew I was shaking when I tried to reach for his hand because he was having horrible spasms.
“Neil!…” I could hear my voice rising “Nurse!” I screamed so loud that I knew someone had to hear me. “Where in the world are they!?!”
When his breathing slowed down, so did his heart beat, I saw the monitor beeping slower and slower as he sank down into the bed. He looked so weak as he looked around aimlessly “Angel?”
As if time has stand still for us, once again I grabbed his hand in mine “I’m here.” I choked back the tears.
“We would have had beautiful children…” I smiled through my tears as he continued “I’m sorry, we’ll never get our chance…and I hope that you will stay with Lance. He’s a great guy, I’ll be happy too because I know that he loves you very much.” His voice was a mere whisper now. I had to move closer to hear his words. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be in a better place…”
This time I could not hide my tears as I pressed his hand against my face “I can’t lose you, Neil.”
He felt my tears running down his hand and he pulled back to touch my face “Don’t cry. I don’t want you to cry for me…” he winced in pain again and I saw the monitor beginning to beep uncontrollably. That’s when the nurse finally rushed in with the emergency group, but Neil stopped them as he shook his head slowly “It’s useless…I know my time is up.”
I gripped on his hand harder as if that was how I could keep him alive “No…you can’t leave me alone.” I trembled through gulps.
He looked towards me with a smile so content “I love you…” it took me a few moments to let the words sink in as he drifted off slowly leaving me forever. His hand weakened in my own hands and his body relaxed slowly and I knew it was over. I had lost him.
I felt one of the nurse’s hand on my shoulder “I’m sorry Miss.”
I turned around like a zombie, my face smeared with tears. I walked out of the room and quickened my pace after the metal doors. I past the waiting room where Lance sat but I didn’t look up. I just wanted to get out of the forbidden place. I didn’t make it very far because I tripped over a few pebbles outside the hospital door and that was where I sat and cried until there was no more tears left.
I don’t know how long he was standing there but he was kind enough to give me time to mourn. For what seemed like hours was only half an hour that I sat in one place and cried. Finally, he walked over and sat down next to me “Since the accident, I often wondered if it was me on that death bed, would you be this sad?” Lance signed to himself “Don’t lie to yourself Niki.”
My mind was somewhere else, when Neil left my heart seemed to have gone too “I know that I love him. But at the same time I could not let go of you. Maybe it was my fault for not telling you and now it’s too late to take it back. Maybe if we got together, then I wouldn’t have met Neil and he wouldn’t have died.”
“Everything happens for a reason, Niki. We knew you were faking your Amnesia the whole time.”
His words seemed to snap me out of the daze as I looked up “You both knew? But how?”
He smiled at me “Actually, I didn’t know, it was Neil. He sensed it all along.”
“He new me more than me…I thought my plan was so good. I just wanted to forget everything. I didn’t want to make the choice. I didn’t want to hurt anyone, I’m sorry.” I shook my head over and over.
Lance sighed as he leaned over and hugged me “I know, Niki…I know.”
He rocked me slowly as he stroked my hair. I was finally calming down as I let my eyes wander up. Were my eyes deceiving me? I knew I missed him terribly but I was looking at him. But how could it be? Yet, he was standing there with his white gurney and his bandaged head was no longer there. “Neil?” I whispered. I thought Lance was going to say I was crazy.
Lance pulled away as he took a hold of my shoulders and picked me up on my feet. “At least you finally know who you were going to chose.” He smiled brightly as he turned around to Neil “Don’t just stand there, come over here and hug her.” He scolded.
I looked from one guy to another with a look of shock, no, it was beyond shock. There is no word to describe it. “You…and you…” I pointed to the smiling Neil “You set me up?”
Neil’s face fell as he walked over to me “I’m sorry. I thought it was the only way for you to be true to your feelings.”
I shook my head as I began to come over the shock “You scared me to death!” I pushed at him angrily “How could you put me through that!”
He seemed to guessed that my reaction would be that way as he reached out to me calmly “Angel…calm down.”
“NO!! Do you know what an emotional rollercoaster it’s been for me since I met you, Neil? You don’t even know how hard it was for me. And for you to keep pushing me to talk to Lance. If you would have left things alone…”
“Then you wouldn’t have realized that you love me.” He finished the sentence for me, eventhough it wasn’t what I wanted to say. “I know it was wrong of us to do this to you, but we couldn’t have think of any other way to do it. I’m sorry…”
I was still trying to cope with the shock as I turned to Lance “I…I don’t know what to say.”
I felt Neil’s hands wrap around me as he hugged me gently “I promise you that I would never let you cry again.”
“Too late…” I whispered as a tear dropped on his shoulder.
“Tears of joy does not count.” He pulled away from me with a smile. The same smile that I loved to see. It seemed like yesterday when I thought he had left me forever at the hospital. But today, six months later, we were dancing to our own song in our own wedding. At the corner of my eye, I could see Lance dancing with his date. He looked so happy and it made me happy just to see that. “It’s too late to make a switch, you’re already my wife.”
I giggled at his joke as I hugged him closer and we swayed to the music. “I love you.”
He nodded over my shoulder “I know. I always knew.”
I smiled to myself, I was in complete bliss. My life couldn’t have been more perfect. I found my perfect man eventhough it took an obstacle to get there. But I was glad that I fell in love with him. As for Lance, he will always be my first crush, the guy that I could not forget. But I learned a lot from Neil. Seize the moment. Don’t let the moment pass you by and then regret it later. It will just cause you more pain and you would have to endure your own tears. Neil often asked me, if you had the choice to live your life happily or tearfully, what would you chose? My answer was obvious wasn’t it?
THE END