Fan Fiction |
by Jenny Tran
The following day, I was held back in my morning class. The professor would not anyone leave until every final test was in his hands. It didn’t matter if you were the first one done, he was stern about his rules. Lucky for me, I was the second person finished and it had only taken me an hour and a half. So I had to sit there for another hour and a half until we were free from that God forbidden jail! I stared at my watch every two minutes but it was useless, time seem to go by slower when you’re not doing anything.
I thought about my ‘date’ with Neil and I hoped that he was somewhat held back too. I hated being late to a scheduled meeting or in this case a date. Actually, I still would not consider it a date since it was not with anyone that I liked? So for the rest of the hour I sat there and debated with myself of whether or not it was a date. In the end, I came up with a meeting with a potential friend or suitor if you’d like to call him that.
The minute the last person handed the professor the test, he announced the class to be over. Finally! I jumped from my seat and practically ran out of the classroom. I was an hour late, would there be any way that he would be sitting there waiting for me? It was almost impossible but I didn’t want to leave someone hanging like that. And it wasn’t as if we had each other’s cell phone number.
I sped down the street to the little pasta place. I got to the parking lot and I could almost smell the aroma of pasta and tomato sauce lingering in the air. I skimmed the lot for his car but couldn’t find it anywhere, it still didn’t stop me from entering the restaurant.
When I entered, all I saw were a few customers and the host smiled at me with politeness. “How many, Miss?” she asked.
I smiled back “Uh…actually, I’m meeting someone here…Neil?” I asked wondering if she knew who I was talking about. But of course she did! She called him by his first name the day before.
“Actually, I haven’t seen him all morning.” She shook her head. “You still want to have lunch?”
I couldn’t say no to pasta so I nodded and she led me to one of the smaller window booths. “Thank you.” I said after she gave me the menu and a moment to decide on what I wanted to order. I looked at everything on the menu and I finally decided on the chicken parmagiana, it sounded magnificent. So when the waitress came around, I ordered it and looked around at the people.
“Great choice.”
I spun my head around to see where the voice was coming from, but all I found was a male facing the back of me in the booth behind me. “Thanks…”
“You seem to be looking for someone.” He said without turning around.
“Well, not really…” I stuttered. I didn’t feel the need to explain myself to a complete stranger.
“You sound a bit hesitant, is it because you came late and your date had left but you still decided to come?”
He guessed everything on the nose and a slow smile came on my face as I realized who the stranger was “Hello Neil.”
He turned around and leaned his arms on the cushion of his booth “Hello there Niki. Nice of you to come.”
“Sorry, I was caught up in class and I couldn’t make it on time…wait, you waited for an hour? Why didn’t you leave?” I was more curious about that.
He got up and sat in the seat across from me “Actually, I ate my lunch read the morning newspaper, talked to the waitress and even watered the plants in the restaurant for the manager, who happens to be a good friend of mine.”
“You had time to do all that? Wow…was I that late?” I wondered out loud.
He laughed at my naiveness “You’re too cute! Anyways, I didn’t want you to think that I was upset because you came late.” He shook his head “To be honest, I thought you were going to stand me up.”
“So I proved you wrong?” I teased.
He nodded “I’m glad you did. So then!” He sat upright with his elbows on the table and his face on his hands “I’m more excited about getting to know my future girlfriend. What do you like to do? Besides tormenting guys that want a date with you.”
I laughed comfortably, he sure had a way with words “One, don’t call me your future girlfriend and two, I don’t torment guys. They just LIKE to be tormented by me.”
“Oh! Well, that makes sense.” He kidded. “Well, what do you do on your spare time?”
“I…” I stopped when I couldn’t think of anything that I have done that was fun and worth talking about in the past three and a half years. “Nothing…absolutely nothing.” I said with obvious despair in my voice.
“Well, how about we change that? Have you been to a bar?” I shook my head “Alright, we’ll go there this weekend. Have you been to an amusement park?”
“When I was young, but I was probably five.”
He tapped his finger on his chin like he was thinking about something “That’s alright, we’ll just rekindle your childhood memories. Anything else?”
I couldn’t think of anything. “You know, I was so sheltered growing up, I wasn’t even allowed to have guy friends.”
“I’m not surprised, but that didn’t stop you from having boyfriends did it?” he was touching a subject that I wasn’t too comfortable talking about.
“I never had a boyfriend.” I spoke cautiously.
He widened his eyes at my remark “Really? A pretty girl like you? Why, are all the guys at your high school blind?”
I laughed and shook my head “I don’t know. I wasn’t interested in the boys, I guess.”
“Oh, so you’re gay.” He said with not much feeling, I sensed complete disappointment in his voice. “What a shame…”
I shook my head vehemently “No no…I…gosh, why are we even talking about this?!” I didn’t notice that my voice was rising.
Neil sat back and put his hands up in defense “Sorry, I didn’t mean to go there…well, at least I know it’s not a subject we should discuss in the future. But I am curious, if you’re not gay..then you must have had crushes?”
My face turned beet red, I could just feel it! I turned away looking so uncomfortable “I…you know, we don’t know each other that well, I really don’t think you have the right to know all this personal stuff from me.”
“Hey…don’t get defensive now.” He said soothingly “I just wanted to know more about you, that’s all. If it makes you uncomfortable, then just ignore me. I’m use to it.”
I don’t know if he was throwing the pity act on me or he was being sincere. “Neil, it’s just…there’s a part of my life that I kind of want to forget…but yet I can’t….” he gave me a strange face and I realized that I wasn’t making any sense. “If you must know, I did have a crush on a guy and I think I still do. But our lives are so different, there’s really no way of us getting together. And for some odd reason, I just can’t forget about him.”
Before I knew it, I was telling him everything about Lance, except for his name of course. Neil wasn’t a bad listener and he was serious when he wanted to be. “I think it’s something called closure.” I looked at him thoughtfully as I listened to his explanation “You see, by you not telling him how you really felt made you wonder if there would ever be a chance. The only way of breaking away from this crush and moving on with your life is to tell him that you liked him or still like him. Whatever he says will affect your life. For my sake, I would hope that he says he never liked you because then I’ll get my chance…” he smiled teasingly “But for your sake, I hope he would say that he likes you so then you can be with a guy you really like.”
I took in his words and it almost made too much sense. He was right, I needed closure for my past so I could move on with my life. If I don’t close that door, there will never be another door to open. I shook my head as I realized I was thinking too complicated. “Maybe you’re right..”
“Of course I am.” He said matter of fact.
“Do you still have his number?” I nodded like a zombie, still deep in my own thoughts “Why didn’t you ever pick up the phone to call him?”
“I…I don’t know…something was holding me back. I always told myself that it wasn’t time for me to tell him. I convinced myself that if we were meant to be then I wouldn’t have to do anything.”
It was the first time I heard him sigh as he sat back in his chair “You are a confused child.” He shook his head “Girls think too much, you know that? Why do you make things more complicated then they should be. I mean think about it, what would happen if you told him you liked him?”
“He would either say, great I like you too or sorry, I don’t like you that way.” I answered logically.
“Exactly! It’s either good or bad. So why torture yourself with never knowing?” he was making too much sense and I hated that fact. I always pride myself on being able to control my feelings and I had such a strong sense of what I wanted in life and love. But when it came to Lance, I was so confused. He glanced at his watch while I debated with my conscience “Oh my gosh, time flies by when you’re with an Angel!” he laughed at his own corny joke. “I have another class to go to. So I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“I’m busy tomorrow.” I said sincerely.
“Well, how about this? Whenever you feel like you need someone to talk to, you come here and I’ll be here okay?”
“How could you be so sure that when I come, you would be here? You come here all the time?” He shook his head “Well, then how would you know?”
He smiled as he got up “There are some things you just know.”
It was that line again, it gave me the chills to hear him say it with so much confidence. The possibility was impairable but yet he was so confident that it made me wonder if we would. I shook my thoughts away and finished my lunch.