Fan Fiction |
by Jenny Tran
"Okay, we'll start. Tia, get him a notepad and pen. He'll have to take notes, after that lunch, I realized that your friend is too straight to be gay." he laughed when Jacky gave him the evil eye.
"Don't over exaggerate, why do I need to take notes for?" he asked.
Tia handed him a notepad and pen she got from the kitchen. "Because you're too straight!! Didn't you hear anything Johnny said? Sheesh, you really need to take notes."
Jacky yanked the notepad from her hand and whacked it against her butt playfully. "Alright, if you guys insist." he sat down on the couch again, eager to learn.
Johnny stood up and took his place in the middle of the living room "Now, we'll start with the basics. You know male and females are made differently? One is more masculine and one is more feminine..." he was quickly cut off by the snoring sound of Jacky. Johnny gave him a stern look "Okay, I get the point. Speed it up right?" Jacky quickly popped back up on his seat with the pen in his hand. "Well, gay people are just the same, one of the two in the relationship wears the pants. Like in a hetereosexual relationship, you can always tell the male from the female, although the concept of who's the boss is different. I won't get into that. Now, let me ask you, from the past few hours of talking to me, do you think Im the masculine or feminine?"
Jacky took no time to think as he quickly answered "Masculine, of course."
Johnny smiled "Bingo! Now it depends, I can easily show you how to be gay. But do you want to be the masculine or the feminine one?"
"What's more of a challenge?" he asked with a slight crooked grin on his face.
"Feminine, of course."
"I'll learn that one please." Jacky's grin grew wider. He wanted something fun.
"Alright, well that shouldn't be very hard. All you have to do is be a woman." Johnny tried to avoid the ferocious glare coming from Tia.
"That shouldn't be hard." Jacky straightened his face and copied what Tia was doing.
Johnny laughed "No No, not just that. You have to be 100 times worse than a woman. Over exaggerate everything a woman does."
"Oh, like this?" he began walking seductively to Johnny. Suddenly his facial expression changed to anger "You jerk! Why don't you ever call me anymore?? Just because you have work and school and a family to take care of doesn't mean you should abandon me!!" his exaggerated tone of voice was perfect.
The guys burst out laughing while Tia crossed her arms and continued to give them the evil eye. Her eyebrow arched up as she stared hard at Jacky. The guys eventually stopped when Tia didn't speak up. Jacky took his seat while Johnny cleared his throat. Tia sat down slowly while a smile formed on her face "Now that is what you call the power of a woman's glare. Notice I didn't even have to say a word, it was all understood."
The guys looked at each other in disbelief, she was right. It did work. "Well, don't get a big ego now." Johnny said to Tia, who stuck her tongue out at him. "Okay, looks like you got the idea down. How about we try the laugh now? If you get this down, you'll be a pro in no time." Johnny brought a delicate hand to his mouth as he covered it shyly and let out the most adorable laugh. He fluttered his eyes while he turned away shyly. Jacky's smile fell as he shuddered with goosebumps. Johnny clapped his hands "Exactly, thats the reaction straight guys get. But to us gay masculine guys, we find it absolutely adorable. Like when you guys see a cute girl flirting."
Jacky rubbed his arms as he tried to get rid of the goosebumps "Sheesh, I don't know if I could do that." he actually doubted himself for once.
"Well, that's why I said, if you can perfect it, no one will be able to see through you. Also, just to let you know, gay guys can always tell whether or not a guy is straight or gay. But you straight guys can't tell if we're gay. If you hang around me more often, you'll eventually pick it up. Ask Tia, she's a pro now."
Jacky turned to Tia "You're straight." she said calmly. Putting out her hands to her side as she smiled "See? Im good aren't I?"
He snickered at her "Tells you how good you are, Im gay." he stuck out his tongue at her and crossed his legs delicately and placed one hand over the other on his knee.
"Okay, stop teasing each other. Practice your laugh." Johnny took a seat next to Jacky while he got up from his seat and stood where Johnny was.
He tried the first laugh, doing exactly what Johnny was doing. "You sound like a dying chicken cackling." Tia said sarcastically.
"You mean I sound like you?" Jacky answered back twice as sarcastic.
"You!!" she got up and charged towards him, but he was quick as he climbed on the couch and sat behind Johnny.
"Ha! You'll never catch me." he teased as Tia tried to hit him while she hovered over Johnny.
"Stop." Johnny said, but when they continued, he yelled "STOPPP!!!" giving them annoyed looks as he got up from his chair and stood up. "Now stop it, this is serious buisiness, if you want to be us, you have to practice, Jacky. Tia, stop teasing him, go back and sit down!" he demanded. He looked angry as the two took their seats quietly. She's never seen him this mad, who would have guessed this would cause him to blow up. Johnny looked at the two as they looked at him earnestly, he started laughing unexpectedly "Now that's the power of a gay masculine guy!" he exclaimed with humor.
Tia and Jacky glanced at each other; both picked up a pillow simultaneously and threw it at Johnny. He ducked from the flying pillows and put up a hand for a truce. "Come on, lets get serious now. Its a few hours from dinner time. From this rate, Jacky will never be gay enough."
Jacky nodded as he tried the laugh again and again and again. Before they knew it, its been almost three hours. Each laugh was as horrible as the last. Johnny and Tia gave each other secret shakes of the head. They both knew it would be useless, Jacky could never get that laugh down.
Tia was nodding off while Johnny was holding his stomache. It was growling uncontrollably. Jacky was still trying to laugh that feminine gay laugh. After a few more minutes, Johnny held up his hand to surrender "That's good enough Jacky, please I am sooooo hungry. I'll die if I don't eat." he pointed to Tia, who's eyes were half closed. "Look what you did to poor Tia."
Her head nodded off the edge of the couch where she rested her head "What??!" she asked as she picked up her head and looked at the guys. "Dinner? Did he do it?" she opened her eyes wide.
"No, give me a few more minutes." Jacky said as he tried the laugh another three times. Johnny sighed loudly as he began to get up. "Wait!! Wait!! I think I got it." he covered his mouth and let out a giggle.
Johnny stared at him and slowly stood up "You are so hot right now." he grabbed Jacky's face in his hands as he pulled it close to his lips. Tia watched in disbelief as the guys lips got closer to each others.
"NO!!" he pulled away from Johnny's grasp "I can't, my boyfriend will get mad." he said melodramatically.
"He won't know." Johnny said as he stepped closer to Jacky.
Jacky took a few steps back and put up a hand to block Johnny "No, I love him too much." his voice sweet as sugar.
Suddenly their little show was interrupted by Tia's clapping of her hands. "Bravo, I think you finally got it Jacky." she shook her head with a smile plastered on her face.
"You think so?" he asked seriously.
She nodded "You almost made me barf and I don't even have any food in my stomache!!"
Jacky's face beamed, proud that he finally got it down. "Come on, lets go eat. Im starving." he rubbed his tummy and picked up his jacket. He headed straight for the door and disappeared down the hallway to the elevator.
Johnny and Tia took their time as the picked up their belongings. Suddenly she pulled him back "You think he got that laugh down?" she was curious because she thought that last laugh was as bad as the other ones.
"No, but Im damn hungry!" Johnny said.
"Me too." she muffled a giggle when she heard Jacky crying out to them.
They had a nice dinner together, eating at a sushi place a few blocks down. Tia and Johnny ate hungrily while Jacky took his time. Every so often he would start giggling. "Okay, that's enough, you're ruining my appetite!" Tia threw down her chopsticks and turned to him angrily.
"Hey, did you see that waiter?" he ignored her outburst. "I think he was flirting with me." he said to Johnny.
Johnny lifted his eyebrows "Really? But he's not gay."
"Well, maybe you're wrong?? There's always a first for everything." Jacky said reasonably.
"But there are some things that are just very obvious." Johnny replied.
"Well, let's put him to the test." Tia spoke up, intervening with their little quarrel.
Jacky's eyes opened with interest "How do you suppose we do that?"
She smiled micheviously at him "Take you to a bar and see how well you do? With the master by your side, you'll be sure to learn faster. And we'll test to see how well you do in picking the gay from the straight."
Her plan was very smart and a little sneaky, but Jacky was up for it as he quickly finished his rolls and sushi. He was even more anxious than ever. They were about to leave when his cell phone rang loudly. He looked at the incoming call and rolled his eyes. He put up a hand to quiet the other two as he picked up "Hello?"
"Jacky? When did you come back? Why didn't you call me?" his girlfriend, Mindy demanded.
"Min, I was busy talking to my father. I was going to call you." he covered the mouth piece and whispered the words "Yeah right."
"Well, I want to see you right now!" she was so pushy. He had a long distance relationship with this girl that he started to date about three years ago. They first chatted over email when he met her in a chat room, but eventually, their relationship grew. He didn't realize how clingy she was until he told her about a month ago that he was coming back to Hong Kong. They didn't see each other often and that's what he loved about the relationship.
"Im out with my father. Can't I come see you tomorrow?" Suddenly his eyes lit up as he smiled at Johnny "How about you come by tomorrow morning? I'll let the servants know you're coming so they can let you in."
"Servants?" her voice changed to a sweeter tone "Wow, I didn't know you were that rich." she giggled into the phone while he pulled it away from his ear. Her laugh was so annoying to him.
"Well, I've got to go now, bye." he hung up before she could say bye.
Tia covered her mouth to stop herself from bursting out with laughter. "Girlfriend?" she managed to ask.
"Shut up!" he turned to Johnny "Hey, you think I could borrow you for a few hours?"
Johnny glanced at Tia and then back at Jacky "Why?" he asked.
"To break up with his girlfriend" Tia said smartly, she knew exactly what Jacky was thinking.
"You know me best!" he smiled as he began to lead them out of the restaurant. "What do you say?"
"Im getting paid for this right?" Johnny asked, his face serious.
Jacky burst out laughing as he nodded "Plenty!" They gathered in Jacky's little convertibale and took off to their next destination, the bar.