Fan Fiction |
by Jenny Tran
After dropping off Darren and Mia, Erin returned home to an aroma of fresh boiled crab. She knew Luke was in the kitchen, the other cook in the house would be Jenna, who was still at the airport. Tossing her keys on the counter, she entered with an aura of confrontation.
Luke sipped the soup carefully “Hey.” He greeted “You’re home finally, how was the ride?”
“It was fine. Can you cook for three more? Mia, Darren and Bonnie are coming over for dinner.” She said while taking slow steps towards him.
“Done!” he laughed “I guessed they would rather have dinner with us after six months of vacation.” Erin nodded without much expression “What’s the matter with you?”
Erin placed her hands behind her back casually “Oh my gosh, what’s that on your hand?” she nodded.
Luke dropped the ladle and looked at his hand “What? What is it?”
It was a wrong move to give Erin the chance to reach for his hand and twisted it behind his back. Yelping in pain while she pushed his head onto the counter “You don't have the right to remain silent. Do you remember what we talked about the night of the P.R.A. annual dinner party six months ago?”
“I have the right to remain silent.” He replied, knowing where the conversation would lead to.
“Do you?!!” Erin pushed harder, hurting him.
“OW!!” Luke groaned “Yes Mam!”
“Do you remember promising me never to mention those two words ever again?” she pressed.
“Yes Mam!”
“Well guess what? I heard from a little birdie today that said you specifically told her those two words and she used it on me and that…that guy today! I warned you Luke, I’d break your arm if I ever heard those words again and I know you are the origin of how those words got around.” She let go quickly and stepped back.
Luke rubbed his arm painfully “That’s not fair. I told Mia by accident.”
“There is no accident with Mia.” Erin shook her head as she searched through the drawers.
“What are you looking for? You know you don’t step in the kitchen unless it’s to eat dinner.” Luke rolled his eyes dramatically.
“I’m looking for a knife to chop your arm off.” She smiled sweetly when she found the drawer “Ooh…isn’t this what Jenna calls…a butcher knife?” She waved it menacingly in front of his face. He showed complete fear after almost tripping over his own foot “I hear it cuts through meat in a perfect carving motion, wanna see?”
Luke laughed nervously “Come on Erin…I know you have a better sense of humor than this…I mean, it’s no big deal right? Unless you care…”
She paused and tapped the end of the knife against her chin “Hmm…let me cut your arm off and if I laugh then we’ll know I have a sense of humor.”
“No…let’s put away the knife and how about letting me get back to cooking?” he pleaded with big eyes.
Erin placed the knife on the counter “Fine, we’ll continue this after dinner.”
Luke sighed with relief as he side stepped her to the stove and began stirring his boiling soup “Sounds like you had a fun day.”
“Look kid, I’m not over this yet. So don’t be making sarcastic comments, that’s my job.” She warned with a wagging finger.
“Yes Mam!” he turned and saluted her.
Finally cracking a smile, she shook her head “What is it about that guy that I don’t like? I mean, I see him and I just want to scratch that sick smile off his face.” She said with clenched teeth. Luke stifled a laugh that she easily caught “Don’t answer that.”
He turned to her with a solemn face “Of course not…I wouldn’t want to lose both arms. How would I ever find a girl that would like a one armed guy?”
Erin smiled “You’ll find her.”
“Yeah, when? I swear Erin, if I don’t get married by the time I’m thirty five, I…I’m gonna turn the other way.” She wrinkled her brows confusingly while he sighed “You know, turn gay.”
She laughed, “You couldn’t if you wanted to.”
“I could. I’d make a handsome gay partner.” Luke stood up for himself.
It only made her laugh louder at his confidence “What’s so funny?” Jenna peeked her head into the kitchen without warning.
Luke nearly dropped the ladle while Erin remained calm “Back so soon? Didn’t need to clean up the dirty work?” she asked with an arch brow.
“Hey, I’m the only adorable half niece to the Head of Security, you think I have to do any dirty work?” Jenna laughed “Pul-lease.”
“You hold a good argument.” Erin replied dryly.
Jenna shrugged and walked to the fruit basket to get herself an apple “So, what was so funny earlier?”
“You tell her.” Erin pointed to Luke.
Chewing on her apple as she turned to him for a response “Okay, Jenna, answer me seriously. Would I make a good gay partner?”
“To the same sex?” she asked nonchalantly.
“No, the opposite!” Luke replied haughtily “That’s where the word ‘gay’ came from.” He added with sarcasm.
“Not with that attitude.” Jenna snickered “Yeah…I guess you’d make a good gay cook but not a good lover.”
“Why not?” he asked in defense while trying to ignore Erin’s shrill laugh.
“One, you keep checking out women.” Jenna began counting her fingers “Two, you know the size of their bra before you even take a second look. Three, you couldn’t keep up in a gay relationship.”
Erin had victory in her hands as she grinned at him “Bingo.”
Jenna laughed as she leaned on the counter top “So you thinking of turning? I know this really cute guy back in college that is the best gay lover I know.”
“How so?” Erin asked curiously.
“He had the apartment behind me and every night a new boy he brought back would claim that when they were getting busy.” Jenna grinned when Luke looked ready to throw up his lunch. She moved closer to Erin and nudged her “How long til he hurls?”
She took her estimate seriously “Hmm…I’d say about one minute and twenty seconds.” She turned back to Jenna and asked loudly “What does he say exactly?”
Jenna cleared her throat to belt out the groaning sound “Oh…Jason…that’s it…You’re the best…yeah…” Luke covered his mouth as he ran out of the kitchen. Jenna’s laughter ran through the house as she pointed at him amusingly.
“Wow…that was more like fifty two seconds.” Erin glanced at her watch. She got off the chair “I’m gonna go clean up before dinner.”
“Hey Erin.” Jenna stopped her. Erin turned with raised brows “Will you ever hate me too?”
“I couldn’t even if I wanted to. You’re too cute.” Erin winked, she knew where the girl was getting at “I’m a fair person, I treat everyone individually. Just because you’re partially related to the guy doesn’t make me dislike you any less.” Smiling, she exited the kitchen with Jenna’s smile plastered to her face.
Sighing, she said to herself “Yeah, I don’t think you’ll agree after next month.”
*************
Dinner began earlier with the arrival of the Chiu family “Hi guys! Welcome back.” Luke answered the door.
“Hi…” Mia sighed with a content smile. She walked past him dreamily and looked around the house “You guys got a new couch?”
Luke turned to Darren strangely “Uh…yeah. Doug had a little accident one night when he fell asleep on the couch.”
“That silly guy, is he still peeing in his sleep?” Mia laughed calmly.
“No, actually, he did too much training that day and ended up having a nose bleed that stained the couch permanently. Erin insisted on getting a new couch.” Luke explained. Mia clasped her hand together and nodded. He inched closer to Darren “What’s the matter with her?”
“She’s trying out this peace therapy that our marriage counselor advised would help her overly active blood pressure.” Darren placed his girl on the ground “Go say hi to everyone BonBon.” The girl in the lavender dress scurried away to the kitchen where she knew Jenna was.
“It’s so nice to be back.” Mia took in a lungful of air and breathed it out happily.
Doug appeared tired and sleepy from the stairway as he nodded to the guests “Hey.” Jogging down the steps as he let out a long yawn.
“Doug…” Mia smiled, she stepped slowly over and hugged him dearly. Dumbfounded, he stood motionless until she let go “I’m so happy to see you.”
He widened his eyes and stepped back and away from her “Dude, your wife is on crack.” Making a rolling motion with his finger, he looked at Darren sadly.
Mia threw her head back with a laugh “Oh Douglas, you are so funny. I sure missed your humorous personality.”
Scratching his head in confusion, he looked at Darren again “What did you do to her?”
“Not me.” He said in defense but was enjoying watching his wife squirm inside. He knew it was driving her crazy.
“Okay, where’s Mia, you freak of nature?” Doug grabbed Mia by the arms and shook her roughly “Get out!!”
She remained calm and the plastered smile grew after he stopped “It’s me. I’m just a different person now that’s all. After spending most of my days watching Oprah, I realized that—”
“That’s why!” Doug laughed, “You can’t even understand half of the time what those people are singing. Remember in high school, we had to watch that Cinderella tale in opera…it was ridiculous.”
Mia narrowed her eyes and pushed her weight on one foot, hand on hips “Oprah not opera, you moron. What kind of idiot has never heard of Oprah. She just has the best talk show in all of the world. A self made billionaire and so full of energy. So before you start yapping about opera, maybe you should open this month’s People magazine and read about her.”
Darren raised his brows “Wow…you did it.”
“Thank you…thank you.” Doug bowed proudly while the guys clapped their hands happily.
“Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served.” Erin announced from the hallway.
“Great, I’m starving!!” Mia pushed Doug deliberately and rushed towards her seat at the head of the table.
Erin finished setting the table when she saw Mia sitting at the head seat “Mia, this is Doug’s seat now. Since you were gone for six months, we initiated him to take over.”
“Or so he thinks.” Jenna winked slyly.
"Dejavu..." Mia raised her hands to silence the group.
“Ahem!” Doug cleared his through loudly “Get out of my chair, woman.”
“Finders keepers, losers weepers.” Mia stuck her tongue out childishly.
“Ha ha…funny. Get out now!” Doug roared.
She was not bothered or willing to move as she turned to him “Nope.” Mia widened her eyes and he slowly backed away.
“Fine…I’m going to sit next to Bonnie.” He moved back and sat with the giggling girl “Hi sweetie.” Patting her head as he turned to Mia with a pushed up chin.
“Yeah, that’ll show her.” Erin shook her head with a laugh.
“Are we missing anyone?” Darren asked as he counted the people around the table.
“Ryan.” Erin sighed as she prepared to fetch him.
“Wait.” Jenna stopped her, getting up she pushed Erin back in her seat gently “I’ll get him. You guys start.”
Doug served himself the pasta salad and some to Bonnie “I think she has a crush on him.”
“Really genius? How long did it take you to do that calculation?” Mia snapped.
His eyes grew smaller as he glared at her “Is it me or are you growing more immature with each year passing?”
“It’s you.” She replied curtly.
Doug turned to Darren for help “Don’t look at me. I was forced to spend time with her four days a week in exchange to find out what she was dreaming on the plane.”
“Poor guy.” Doug sighed. Mia smiled evilly and he quickly added, “I’m not falling for that again! Don’t even think about it.” He warned.