| Fan Fiction |
by Chin Yu
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Title: Saranghae, and I Love You
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/jiroswifey/
Author: Chin Yu
Reviewer: rawr @ Lonesome Sprint
[lonesomesprint.blogspot.com]
Title: 5/5: I love your title. It brings a hint of warmth to the story and mystery.
Background/Poster: 7/10: Your poster is okay. It was done well, but it lacked creativity and it is kind of boring to the eye.
Forewords: 8/10: Your forewords is okay. I feel that you should elaborate more on your summary, but it also gives us (the reader) a little mystery on who the characters are like and all.
Plot: 13/15: Interesting plot, but it was a bit cliché. I like how you wrote a story base on Prop 8 (assuming you live in the US). I mean, it’s sort of like a crime when there is homosexuality among a certain gender. This really means a lot to those were are hiding in the dark and/or trying to win the right to love who ever they want.
Creativity/Originality: 10/15: I feel that it’s creative, but the originality of the story isn’t so…original. Your idea started off great, but it’s sort of common with the whole yaoi thing. Many people had already written stories like this, but your store still catches someone off guard.
Speed/Flow: 8/10: The flow of your story was okay. Some parts were too fast and some parts were too slow. Like this, some readers might get bored and stopped reading, since it is not stable/steady.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7/10: There’s a few, but I’m not going to nag you about your grammar and such. I mean, we all make mistakes. I like how you have a wide range of vocabulary, but your grammar isn’t so wide. Like I said previously, we all make mistakes, so I’m not going to pinpoint your mistakes. Also, before posting it, or after, try reading it out loud. If it doesn’t make sense, you can always edit it and make it better.
Characterization: 6/10: You had already developed the descriptions for the characters in your forewords, but you didn’t develop them as an individual. You sort of added more descriptions as they were with other characters, but their strong points weren’t shown in your story. For your character to shine, you need to develop them as an individual, instead of letting them shine through other characters.
Writing Style: 7/10: Your writing style is okay. It’s understandable and readable.
Overall enjoyment: 3/5: I didn’t really enjoy the story, since I’m not a yaoi fan. But it doesn’t mean that I was being biased on your review. These are my most and honest comments. You did a profound job on your story.
Sub Total: 74/100
Bonus: 5/5: I gave you full credit, because of your hard work and trust in me for reviewing your story. Use the comments wisely and please do not get offended by my critics. They are to help you with your writing.
Total: 79/100