| Fan Fiction |
by Chin Yu
"Its amazing. The lyrics, the piano, the tune...it was all so beautiful!" After the song finished, Donghae felt completely different. As if he were just born. Everything seemed clearer to him. This song definitely had an effect over him.
"Oh thank you, Donghae. That means a lot to me." Kyuhyun said and stared deeply into Donghae's eyes.
Donghae stared deeper into Kyuhyun's eyes. He moved closer to Kyuhyun. He didn't quite know what he was doing. His mind was screaming to stop. That this wasn't what he should be doing. But his body could help it. Kyuhyun's lips were so soft and warm. They were just screaming 'kiss me.'
Kyuhyun brought his hands up to Donghae's face and pulled it closer to him. "Mmmm..." He let off a soft moan. This brought Donghae back to reality. He quickly pulled of Kyuhyun and moved to the far edge of the bed.
"Kyuhyun I-"
"Sorry I don't know why I did that...I mean...I'm not...I don't do that..." Donghae brought his hands to his lips. They felt weird. He's kissed girls before, but he's never kissed someone like he's kissed Kyuhyun. That kiss had passion and love. It was fierce and strong. Nothing like a girl's kiss.
Kyuhyun looked down at his dark blue sheets. "I understand." He simply said. The two sat in awkward silence for what seemed like eternity. Kyuhyun couldn't stop thinking about how embarrassed he was. Donghae couldn't stop thinking about the fact he just kissed another boy.
.
"So Eunhyuk Donghae told me you were thinking of quitting dance." Donghae's mother said as she placed three dining plates on the small table. She walked back to the counter and picked up a large pan. She brought it over to the table and started to serve Eunhyuk and Heekyung. She placed some food on her own plate and returned the pan to the counter.
"I uh, actually yes." Eunhyuk said. He knew he couldn't hide the truth from Donghae's mother. It was best to come right out with it.
"Aigoo...Eunhyuk, why! You dance so wonderfully!" Donghae's mother complained. "Why would you do that!"
Eunhyuk looked down at his plate and shrugged. He knew there was no way he could tell Donghae's mother the truth. Not until he told Donghae, at least. "I've just been to busy I guess."
.
"Thank you for having me over Ms Cho. The meal was so delicious." Donghae bowed and thanked Kyuhyun's mother again.
"You are welcome back any time Donghae." Kyuhyun's mother gave him a warm smile. "Let me go get my keys." Kyuhyun's mother said and left the room, leaving Donghae and Kyuhyun alone, the first time since the kiss.
Donghae looked at Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun looked up from the table and met his gaze. The two had felt incredibly embarrassed after what happened. Kyuhyun started to say something when his mother returned to the room. "Got them. You ready?" She looked at Donghae.
He tore his eyes off Kyuhyun and at Kyuhyun's mother. He nodded. "Yeah I'm ready."
"Thank you again for having me. Thank you. Bye." Donghae waved at Kyuhyun's mother. Then the looked at Kyuhyun. He shyly waved. "See you at school. Bye." He said. The car drove off, leaving Donghae.
Donghae hurried up the steps. He needed to hurry and get to his room. Play his guitar. Let all the feelings he was feeling inside him out. Nothing could stop him. Nothing, but him.
"Oh Donghae! I was just leaving. Caught you just in time!" Eunhyuk said as he stepped out of Donghae's house.
Donghae looked up from the ground at Eunhyuk. "Eunhyuk!" He felt himself getting anxious just being around Eunhyuk.
"Hey you have a minute, we gotta tal-"
Donghae cut Eunhyuk off. "Not right now. Sorry, I don't feel good." Donghae lied. He knew that his excuse sounded so lame and unbelievable. But somehow Eunhyuk seemed to believe it.
"Oh," Eunhyuk said, his voice sounded broken. "Okay yeah I get it." Eunhyuk walked down the steps towards Donghae. Donghae stiffened. Eunhyuk clapped Donghae on the shoulder and looked down. "Sorry man I totally spaced on picking you up. Hope you didn't wait long." He said and walked over to his car. Eunhyuk got in and waved. "Sorry again." He said before closing his door and driving off.
Donghae looked down at the cement. He could tell Eunhyuk thought this was all his fault. Donghae wanted to tell him that it wasn't. That is was Donghae's fault. But he didn't know how Eunhyuk would react to the truth. Donghae sighed and hurried up to his room. He desperately needed to play his guitar.
-
The next few days at school went by in a haze. Donghae couldn't bear facing Eunhyuk or Kyuhyun. In choir he stood on the opposite end of the bleachers. He even stopped going to the GSLEN meetings on Wednesdays. Instead he sat in the library, starting out the window.
In homeroom Donghae could barely stand sitting next to Eunhyuk. Feelings of anxiety, love and just want were too compelling. He thought he was going to blow. Things calmed down the next week when Eunhyuk stopped showing up to school. Donghae wanted to call him. But he didn't know if he could contain himself.
Donghae got worried the next week. Eunhyuk still had yet to show up to school. Donghae was starting to not notice Eunhyuk's absence. It was becoming a reoccurring theme with him. He still couldn't call him, though.
He couldn't find the courage to call him until the third week. He was getting worried. This wasn't like Eunhyuk. Donghae called him seven times. Each time he got Eunhyuk's answering machine. "Hey, its Donghae. Where are you? Call me back ASAP." Donghae could only make up an excuse as for why Eunhyuk was gone. He was really sick.
.
"Baby I can't stay today. I need to get to school." Eunhyuk explained. He was standing under the door frame of Valerie's apartment.
"I can't be here by myself! I need constant care! This will help you for when the baby comes. Jae, please!" Valerie pleaded.
Eunhyuk sighed and hung his head. Reluctantly, he walked into the apartment and sat on the Lazy Boy chair. Fourth week of school he has missed in a row. "This is ridiculous. You have so many friends that can come over."
"I tried them! They can't come over!" Valerie shouted.
"Well I can't either! I need to get to school! Get an education and graduate so I can support you and the baby! What are we gonna do when that thing comes and we have no money to buy it's diapers!" Eunhyuk yelled.
"Shut up! Stop yelling! Its not good for the baby!" Valerie yelled back.
"Not good for the baby? Are the visits from your friends good for the baby? They come over here, smoke cigarettes and God knows that else. And you are inhaling that shit which is getting to the baby!" Eunhyuk roared. "Don't talk to me what's good for the baby!"
"They are only over here because you won't! God this is your baby too, Jae!" Valerie cried out.
"We just went over this! I can't be over here everyday! I need to go to school! Or at least lemme get a job so we have a little bit saved away for when it comes!" Eunhyuk yelled.
"What happened to all that money from your summer jobs! Did you piss that away on booze and cheap girls!?"
"Its in savings. For dance school!"
"Oh! Dance school! We would rather pay for Jae's dance school then the new baby!" Valerie argued.
"You know what, forget this. I'm leaving to go find a job. You don't even need me here anyways." Eunhyuk got off the chair and stormed towards the door.
"You know what, forget you! You're right! I don't need you here!" Valerie yelled and pulled off one of her flip flops and threw it at Eunhyuk.
Eunhyuk ducked out of the way and left the apartment. He had been so stressed out lately. He didn't want to fight with Valerie. But everything was just so hard. It was getting to him. He couldn't keep it bottled up any longer.
.
Donghae glanced over at the seat next to him. Vacant again. He sighed and put a little tally mark on the top of his desk. A total of 22 now. 22 days since he had seen and talked to his best friend. He was really starting to worry. 'Maybe Eunhyuk had just skipped out on homeroom. Its not an important class anyways. And maybe I just don't ever see him in the halls. And his phone might have been shut off because he couldn't pay the bills.' Donghae did everything he could to calm his nerves and put himself at ease. Even if that mean lying to himself. He knew Eunhyuk wasn't showing up to school. He knew Eunhyuk wasn't showing up to school. He just didn't know why.
Donghae threw all of his things in his backpack and proceeded to the double doors to leave school. He pulled out the 85 cents he needed for the bus and jingled it in his hand. Instead of taking his normal bus, the number 5, he was going to take the 13. Which brought him down south where Eunhyuk's apartment was. Donghae didn't want to go, he didn't know if he would be able to. But he had to.
"Donghae!" A voice called out from Donghae. Donghae turned around and saw Kyuhyun running up to him. Donghae looked at the ground and sighed softly.
"Hey Kyuhyun..." Donghae said quietly.
"Can we talk?" Kyuhyun asked.
.
Donghae sipped the milk Kyuhyun purchased from the vending machines outside of the choir room. His legs dangled off the high bleachers. He liked the way they felt when he kicked them softly.
"I need to apologize, Donghae." Kyuhyun spoke up.
Donghae looked up at Kyuhyun and knit his brows. "Huh?" He knew what Kyuhyun was talking about, and frankly, he really didn't want to talk about it.
"I got the wrong idea...I thought you were...you know..." Kyuhyun let Donghae fill in the rest.
"Oh...I...yeah..." Donghae looked down at the floor. The past month he had thought hard about his orientation. The kiss he shared with Kyuhyun definitely changed the way he saw himself.
"I hope this doesn't make things complicated between us. I really want to be your friend." Kyuhyun said.
Donghae looked back at Kyuhyun. He gave Kyuhyun a friendly smile. "Kyu, we can. We are. I just, I don't know...I..." Donghae looked down and sighed. He knew if there was anyone he could talk about his sexuality, it was Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun had to have gone through what Donghae was going through.
"What is it?" Kyuhyun asked.
"I just, I...I've been so confused lately..." Donghae finally confessed. It felt as if a lead blanket was taken off his back. He could finally speak openly about this.
---
okay
alot of things happened
and i kind of jumped ahead
a lot
sorry if its really confusing
(again, this is something i wrote when i first started writing...i should have changed this chapter up a little bit though =/)
oh well
you like? :)