| Fan Fiction |
by Joesline
Sleep well.
As I woke up again, my eyes found the piercing through of sunray gliding down my window to the bed sheets that I was lying on. Stretching up my aching body, I looked at the time shown on my hand phone to realize I had slept for six hours.
Six hours... That's bad.
Shaking off the negative thoughts, I forced myself to the toilet at my parents' room. Brushing off my teeth as I looked up at the person in the mirror. Pale complexion accompanied with a shag-off look. This doesn't looks like someone whom just wake up from a good sleep but someone whom was bothered by a nightmare.
After the basic wash up of myself, I found myself a set of clean clothes to change so that I could get a little consoling to start the day anew. The doctor had given me a day off from work and hence I am still at home, slowly doing my own favorite stuff - slacking.
I took the effort to plug in the charger while I on my laptop. My eyes swayed to the side as the speaker in front caught my attention. Without any hesitation, I took my mp3 player and plugged into the speaker. Increasing the volume to a suitable limit, I listened with my eyes shut. Enjoying the music, the sound effect and the environment of me drunk inside my own personal space.
Soon enough I got myself up again to my bed, retrieving my hand phone for any new messages. Recently, messages were all from him. Hence I was just checking if he would have wake up and texted me something. I was worried for him, as he didn't get enough sleep before heading to work this morning.
[Morning dear, I'm on my way to work. It's really tiring and wearing me off so much but I just had to carry on working. You must be in your office, have you get any better?]
Oops. He thought I was at work.
I replied back his message before I went back surfing the net. I met my colleague at MSN. She was asking for my health condition since she witnessed my attack last evening and had gone to the hospital with me. I was touched by her words as I wiped off some tears that were sliding down my eyes. This was the moment that I was most vulnerable but most stubborn as well.
It was at the point I met a junction and I was standing there immobile, not knowing which way I should take. I was indecisive still to be wandering off my mind. I knew I love him but I couldn't make up my decision that which is best for me, for him and... for her.
If you heard the one you love, the one you celebrated every month anniversary, the one you cling onto, the one you smile and laugh with, the one you couldn't say goodbye even you would be seeing him again actually belongs to someone else... How would you be able to see him off and let him walk back to the one he actually belongs to?
When you tried to break free off the strings that were entangling you to him and got yourselves the deeps cuts and undesired wounds, how would you want to carry on breaking yourself apart from him?
But when the decision affects another woman's happiness, a family in risk and that this man was the main support for them, how would you carry on holding him dearly to yourself and take others happiness away like a murderer?
Whatever it is was not meant to be a choice.
I was always holding onto a question dearly even I could sense and feel it deeply. He had a heart for total devotion and affection just for me. The way he sees me upon, the way he adores me and the way he flung himself to take care of me bits by bits were nonetheless not any kind of acts or shows could draw perfectly. I knew he love me deeply but I wasn't certain if his heart was able to place two person at a time.
Thinking of that, my heart shattered into pieces. Just at this moment, I was deciding to leave my house and ran over to find him. He was sick so he had to take a medical leave from work due to the worn-off for two continuous nights.
Holding onto my grips, I found myself looking at him from far.
'You're going to make this decision today. For once and for all.'
My legs brought me up; I looked at him and smiled. He grabbed hold of my hands tightly as he led me to the nearby bus stop.
"You want to get something? Feeling hungry?" He looked at me in concern with his worn-out eyes.
I shook my head, still smiling at him. This smile was here because he existed. I knew how much he is to me and I knew that it would be hell if I have to leave him but... I have to make this decision fast or it won't be doing any good for the three of us.
"Dear?"
"Yes?" He looked up with the eyes that were soon drowning into an endless sleep.
"N-Nothing..." I looked away, thinking that I should grab hold of an appropriate time to ask instead.
Then as I looked back again, he had curled beside me dozing off to sleep like a little child that had worn off after a tiring game. I smiled, patting gently on his back as I brought him near to me to give him some comfort.
'I know I love you but I had to make this decision. It might not be what I want but for at least, it's something to be done for a mess that we are in.'
"I love you...", Whispering to myself as my tears slide down my cheeks as I found the spot of his forehead, giving him a light kiss for adoring this person that I guessed I might never have him by my side again like now.
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© JOESLINE Creation ` 22JUNo9