| Fan Fiction |
by Joesline
The plane rode off for hours and I am deadly buried by boredom and it still didn't get anywhere near to Shanghai. When are we getting there? I didn't get that information quite right into my mind. Imagining all the talking and the hugs he would give me, I am so freaking up myself that I wish I could get a plane back home where he would be.
I miss him, badly.
As my thoughts drew further, I scribbled down writings of how I felt during the trip. I didn't write anything about the missing part because I was so scared of whatever I am suppressing over would be vanished into thin air. All the efforts would be gone down to the drain. Hence I told my heart again, 'You're on a vacation, Be Happy.'
The plane arrived at the airport and we were like sandwiches squeezed in the narrow trail trying to get ourselves out as soon as possible. The excitement of seeing new things had gotten successfully into me as I felt nothing but being excited. Yes, missing him was put aside so naturally. I smiled, thinking that it will work. As we gushed ourselves down to retrieve our luggage, I managed to get myself change into my white winter coat that I bought. New and it looked cool on me as I watched the eyes that caught onto me for very long. I smiled with confidence, feeling happy that at least I am compatible enough for him.
Geez as I stunned for a minute of my thought, even just a little happiness could be affected by him. My mood crushed down to bottom pit of darkness as I felt my missing for him that was still so strong. How could I even survive if I will be away for ten days?
Looking at the phone in my pocket when I managed to get a little short break in the tour bus, my mind started to wander off. Every single thing that I've done would eventually be linked to him in some how; I felt so much to tell him how cold Shanghai is and this white winter coat that I loved. I want to show him how the place is so exciting and different back where we were. Yet, the pricing rates for overseas calls and messages stopped me. I pressed for the music to play as I closed my eyes and listened.
Back to the imagination, filling myself in thoughts again of the scenery with him besides. As he listened to me attentively of what I would tell him and what he would blabber so much that got me to sleep. He would cuddle me like a baby so I could get the best comfort in his arms. Every memory kept replaying behind my mind. They were like the precious gifts when he's not around.
Just as I enjoyed much, the tour guide spoke for us to get down when the tour bus had drove to a small little car park. Not knowing where it was, I went down with the others exploring the stranger place. Going down by the escalator as I feel the rims moving downwards to the tunnel. It was bright and new, everything excited me although the prickling cold was freezing my hands and face.
I miss him. He will grab my hands to warm them up if he's here but he's not.
I ate the warm tea eggs with my family, picking the shells off for them. They love the taste just like I do. I love it too, it tasted very Chinese and just the right one for me. We went further down with the tour guide coming to a place where we supposed to seat in a small moving vehicle that will present all the lights showing at the wall. In digital formats but I was bored as I could only imagine these are just wires forming at the side since Dad was an electrician himself. He could do this or even better back at our homeland.
But I still took some photo with great care. Every shot I took, I remembered his words. 'Take some photos of you and let it keep it safe with me.'
He will see all the photos that I took and smiled at my silliness. He will smile and asked for every of the photos and said how nice to see my smiles. He will be happy if I enjoyed myself.
Every of me he will keep. Back at there, what could he be doing in the daytime? Still working as busy as usual? Is the New Year season suffocating his workload? Can he handle it well? When are his off days? What does he do? Will... he miss me badly like I did?
I didn't want to think that much because I was afraid he was not missing me like I am. I will be too afraid to sent him a message that I am missing him badly even it's just the first day in Shanghai.
I missed him badly and I felt the hopelessness inside. Why do I have to accept that I will be away from him for so many days? Can't he be here as well, always beside me where ever I go? Of sudden, I feared of my thoughts.
Feared because I can't live without him. If any day of the time that he left me, what would my world be? Crushing down to disastrous, I will suffer more than just this trip. He will be gone not more than just ten days. I gasped for air as I breathed in the fear. This wasn't going to work eventually and I had to do something.
I stood up strongly as I shook off the missing of him, welcoming the journey of Shanghai. I lied again, trying to convince myself. 'It's ten days only, soon it will be off like a sprint of time and the missing part is annoying me.'
Yeah, annoyance. I lied but I felt better as I cancelled off the words written on the hotel's paper. 'I miss you badly...'
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© JOESLINE Creation ` 19MARo9