| Fan Fiction |
by Joesline
It was difficult and too hard on me. My mind was flooding off every face of him, the way he would smile or look at me. The every gesture he had for me to hug me close for warmth of his love. Every day I would went to sleep missing him badly, hoping I would wake up noticing the environment that would be different. Hoping I am waking up looking at the brown old table lying in front of the bed and the greenish apple wall that were at my right hand side. I was wrong... It will have to be a dream to see that because I was seeing a big window on my right and the very familiar hotel decorations in the room. I love staying in hotel, experiencing new things but now I detested it. Wishing I was at my own bed in Singapore and I could easily find him right after he finish his work.
But I can't... only the plane would be able to send me home to his hugs. And... it will only be seven days later...
How much patience do I need to have for seven days without him around?
My eyes watched the people that were busy checking the luggage. My parents were talking to my aunt, all the details for the trip extra expenses. I lost count what they were discussing as I knew I wasn't in the right form when I was missing.
Soon after everyone were ready to depart from the second hotel we had stayed in, the tour leader asked for us. Everyone lazily moved up to the bus for the trip. As for me, I'm eager to fly up to the bus. The best place I enjoyed was in the bus. Seating all by myself as I misses him with the music accompanying me.
"Let's go... We've reached." The tour leader signaled us as the bus stopped in front of a garden. I didn't get that part right of where exactly we were or even the name of the garden after all the sleeping in the bus and blasting music in my ears. We walked down one by one, stopping just at the side looking around with curiosity.
The coldness that were prickling into my skin even though I had my thick white winter coat on, it was so much to endure and every time it would bring me back my memories of him covering me with his coat to block off the cold air from me. We walked on streets with burden on us as we tried much effort through the prickling cold of a temperature like minus five degree Celsius; I watched the human figures walking past us. They were different, a lot different as they had lesser clothes on. I pitied their affordability to protect themselves in such cold seasons. Imagining how cold it could get to them and here I was complaining my sufferings that were nothing in the eyes of theirs, I shut up.
In the bus, in the plane, in the hotel at anywhere I am being left alone for self-time which I love most for myself, I would spend fruitful time listening to music and enjoying the messages he had sent me. It's been three days counting from my arrival at Shanghai and we didn't contact one another. The overseas call charges were pulling us apart but my misses were still flying all the way back to Singapore for him.
My memories were becoming precious as he entered my world. Everything we did, I didn't need a pen to write down or a pencil to draw off. The pictures in my mind were the deepest way of expression. Every gesture and every word we would tell is the best form of story we can tell. How our love would be? I thought of him all the time and I always kept it close to me. Sometimes his words were like a mystery waiting to be solved and it was so tedious for someone whom is of pessimism. There was no neutral stand for me as I would only for the darkest side of road.
What is he doing? Work had been busy for him since it was New Year? Did he enjoy the time he had without me? Did he start doing all his favorites stuffs, thanking god I was not there?
I was born to be negative. I imagined all the possibilities of him living happily without me around but I still do wish he would miss me. Even just a minute a day would bring me contentment. I would be grateful for it and I hope it would be true.
Sometimes, negativity would be bringing me lots of doubts of myself. As I realized where I was driving myself at, I feared of the tears that would roll down. I would have to stop thinking of him to my prevention.
I strayed away from the messages as I went on high mood with my cousins again. Laughing and joking with one another in the freaking cold weather as I tried hard to put him away from my mind but... somehow I failed to.
Can he miss me? God, please...
I looked down at the pocket of my coat as I sensed a vibration. My eyes rolled in disgust as I expect another call from my god brother whom seems to not know what was my reason of ignoring his calls for the past few days. By the strong cold freezing wind blowing at me, I would surrender myself to shivering. Hence I decided to take a look at my hand phone once I get back to the bus.
Walking back from the trails as I walked behind the group as usual. I loved following the crowds, observing every single of them. Noticing how they would look like when they were doing their own silly stuffs. I smiled sometimes at the silliness but it was the usual for them but funny in the eyes of others.
As soon as I got myself into the bus, gluing to the seat while I enjoyed all the heatiness that were blowing to me. I let out contentment before I start digging out my phone for the vibration that had happened. I smiled at the message; it was a message not a call. It was from Singapore and not from my god brother but... him. He messaged during his break time, telling me how happy he was that he would be able to go off early today at Singapore from work but feeling upset that I wasn't there.
I felt the tears warmly cuddling my eyes as I read the last words of the message, 'I miss you a lot...'
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© JOESLINE Creation ` 15APRo9