| Fan Fiction |
by keerain
Title: 5/5
Very nice. It gives sort of a gloomy-ish feeling to it, and kinda sets a mood for your story. It doesn’t leak out too much of the fact that the main character’s really in love with a girl.
Poster/Background: 10/10
Very nice. The pictures, quotes, and colors all contribute to setting the male character’s feelings, and how he’s desperately in love. You have a beautiful poster and background. x] The text was very easy to read.
Forewords: 9/10
Nice forewords, but I kinda thought it gave out too much of what happens in the story—boy meets girl, fall in love, girl leaves, boy misses her, they meet again, girl doesn’t remember him, girl dates other guy, boy’s jealous, boy’s still in love, that’s too apparent in your forewords.
Plot: 12/15
I liked your plot, I suppose. But I can’t say that it was the most interesting plot I’ve ever seen. There’s too little happening in it, nothing really exciting. I don’t really see the climax (besides the R scene, LOL, I’m such a perv).
Creativity/Originality: 10/15
I’ve seen plenty of stories with this storyline on Winglin. Can’t really say you were really original and creative. But it was good and well done!
Flow: 8/10
I can’t say that your story went the perfect speed, but I can’t say that it was really bad either. It was so-so. I think you tend to rush through the parts with the boy and the girl together; you don’t make it realistic enough by rushing through it.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 7/10
You had quite a bit of spelling and grammar mistakes, though I thought your vocabulary was very impressive. You constantly misused ‘Your’ for ‘You’re’. There’s a big difference between the two, so you should get clearer with them.
Characterization: 8/10
Nicely done. From the way your write out their actions, thoughts, feelings, and dialogue, I can tell their characteristics and how they are, so I didn’t have to just guess on my own about how they really are. You give enough hints to the reader so that they understand they characters. Good portraying.
Writing Style: 9/10
I liked your writing style; it was pretty clear and ‘professional’, which highlights your good points as a writer. But I think you put too many flashbacks in the story, which confused me a lot. I couldn’t say which parts were present, which parts were past.
Overall Enjoyment: 2/5
I liked your story, but I wasn’t very familiar with the characters (I am Chinese, I’m mostly familiar with Taiwanese stars), so sorry! >
Nice story. Very full of emotions and very descriptive.
Total: 85/100
Good job! Keep it up! ^^ Sorry if I was harsh or mean or anything. ><
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LOL sure sure, at least i stil get an A XD grammar mistakes; i noticed them. Too lazy to change XD