| Fan Fiction |
by lilies_009
That whole time in the club was hell for Jaejoong. He did not know that it could hurt him that bad. He was becoming drunk, every minute that he stays there. He wanted to stop and leave but he wanted to watch her from a far to make sure she’s ok, even if she’s with someone else…. He didn’t care.
He thought loving her from a far was enough. But no, he almost threw a glass over to Seunghyun if only Yunho didn’t grab it away from his hands. He almost walked over to them and just threw a fist into Seunghyun if only Yoochun didn’t stop him. He almost shouted stop to Dara and her stupid boyfriend seeing him all over her if only Junsu didn’t tell him to held it in.
He cried, none of his friends stopped him. He was thankful that they didn’t. They just stood around him, he knew why…. they were blocking him not allowing anyone to see his pitiful state. Yunho repeatedly told him to leave and just go to his office for a while, telling him to just cool it down. But he didn’t. He wanted to be there, to feel the torture of losing his love. That he was crying helplessly, they stood there… giving him a pat once in a while. Telling him to let it all out and that’s it’s ok to be weak.
****
“Hey I’ve got to go. I’ll be taking the guys, are you staying here with Dara?” Teddy asked Top as the latter groggily answered with his half lidded eyes.
“Yeah hyung I’ll try to bring her home later”
“Ya! I’ll kill you!” He warned Seunghyun but a playful smile plastered across his face “take care of him Dara, he’s a bit drunk but I know you can handle him. I’ll drive Bom and CL home… Don’t worry about them alright?”
“Why are you even leaving me here with a drunk guy?” Dara pouted playfully
“Umm you were with him every hour of every day for two months in california… what should I be afraid of?” Teddy frowned while Bom snickered. CL moved forward pointing a finger at her friend “you! How could you!”
Dara chuckled at the drunk CL “Oppa take CL home first, she looked like she needed the sleep”
—-
Dara just smiled at him “this is just great! Why do you always get drunk before me?” She rolled her eyes. it should be the other way around. She admits, the alcohol is starting to kick in her also.
“Oppa…. are you ok?” Putting Top’s face in between his hands. She stared at his manly face, she have to admit he looks great… Dara smiled, she knew could not give hersoef to him fully, but at least she could try.
“Yes hon. A bit drunk I guess” Seunghyun grinned, his head swaing back and forth, swaying it to the rhythm of the club’s music.
“We can leave if you want to” Dara said but the latter just shook his head
“let’s enjoy the evening Hon… the night is young and Jung Yunho’s anniversary celebration haven’t started yet” Seungyun gave Dara another shot and they toss the glass up “For a happy and fruit life… together hon?” He asked for a cheer charmingly and the latter nodded “cheers Oppa!”
*****
Yunho came up to the still drinking Jaejoong and tagged his jacket to get his attention, and he did turn to his friend looking a bit calmer than before.
“Your special is up in thirty minutes? regulars are asking.. can you still do it?? Same rock music?” The taller guy asked. He was sure that Jaejoong would say no this time, but there’s no harm in trying.
“Can I not?” Jaejoong coldly Yunho
“Of course bud but regulars will be pissed off. You some came because of you” Jaejoong snickered
“ya! Do I look like a pop star to you?” the pretty guy snickered tossing his bangs aside. Jae paused for a while and think…
“I think I’ll do a love song today Yun” he pated Yunho in the back and walk over to the DJ’s corner followed by Yunho who went up to the band and Dance floor, set up a single chair and signal the DJ, hand tracing against his neck, the music stopped.
“Goodevening” Yunho called the attention of his regular customers. “It’s our fourth year right? and as promise like you always wanted to hear every year. A good friend will be performing again tonight, just this night.
Applause surrounded the club, people stared at the pretty guy who was smiling beside the DJ’s booth.
“Jaejoong Oppa!”
“Go Jaejoong!”
Howls and shouts filled the club and Dara’s eyes widen. She didn’t know he could sing. Then she remembered something… the first day of school where she and her friends made her imaginary Boyfriend.
“He must be tall, well built, nice tone abs and arms. Hmmm… small face but well chiseled jawline, big round eyes, light colored hair, someone who dresses well, a bit of a bad boy aura… i’m always attracted to a rocker bad boy type” She giggled imagining that. “he drives a dark blue lexus car, he sings really well and… hmmm…. I guess that’s it”
She saw him walked toward Yunho and took the high chair in the middle. Hands clasping the microphone stand as he adjusted it to his liking. He did it with a soft smile on his face.
Jaejoong warm smile almost made every girl in the club gasping. He knew they came not just to celebrate but also to watch him sing- in which he only does onve every year for Jaejoong. He made himself stedied on the chair, on foot firmy rested on the floor, the other crossing above the other.
He started to speak
“Good evening, another year huh?” He smiled charmingly “Since it’s an anniversary I couldn’t say no. Though today, I will disappoint you a bit by singing a love song” he then again gave them a smile, looking around to his audiences.
“This song is dedicated to someone…. Someone I need to let go…. But before I let her go… I wish she can hear this one… the song speaks for it self…. I hope she’s happy…” his breathing hitched but he cleared his throat, just trying to get over the feelings he has as of the moment.
The music started and Jaejoong was looking at her. His eyes pleading and was teary and full of sincerity. He hummed, preparing himself… then he started to sing
I can still remember yesterday
We were so in love in a special way
And knowing that you loved me
Made me feel oh so right
But now I feel lost, don’t know what to do
Each and every day I think of you
Holdin’ back the tears, I’m trying with all my might
The club fell silent… regrets filled the air… as they listen to his sweet voice…
Because you’ve gone and left me standing All alone
And I know I’ve got to face tomorrow On my own….
But baby…. Before I let you go
I want to say I love you
I hope that you’re listenin’
Coz it’s true,baby
You’ll be forever in my heart
And I know that no one else will do, yeah
So before I let you go
I want to say …..
I love you
Tears fell off his face as he watched her through the crowd, hand still intertwining with the other guy. It hurt him a lot but he continued on singing…
I wish that it could be just like before
I know I could’ve given you so much more
Even though you know I’d given you all my love
I miss your smile, I miss your kiss
Each and every day I reminisce
Coz baby it’s you
That I’m always dreaming of.
He swiftly wipes his tears, the front shirt almost drench by his endless tears, he may be looked like a fool now yet he doesn’t care.. he wanted her to know and knew that his only way to get her to listen to him by singing.
Because you’ve gone and left me standing All alone
And I know I’ve got to face tomorrow On my own….
But baby….
Before I let you go
I want to say I love you
His voice is a bit shaky as he tried to choke back his tears. Club goers could sense his love for his special someone…
I hope that you’re listenin’
‘Coz it’s true,baby
You’ll be forever in my heart
And I know that no one else will do, yeah
So before I let you go
I want to say …..
His singing didn’t stay as calm as he wanted. Every note that comes out of his mouth was painful. Singing was rather difficult especially if one was crying and was suppressing all the foreign emotions he has in him. Some people at the club started to cry… Dara was so dumbfounded… she helplessly let go of Top and sat on the couch… tears started to fall…. As she listens to him sing
coz letting love go is never easy
But I love you so
That’s why I set you free…. And I know
Someday…..Somehow
I’ll find a way To leave it all behind me
I guess it wasn’t meant to be But baby………
“Jae… how could you!? This is not my fault at all. why are doing this? why are you making me so guilty?” Dara eyes went watery as she listened to him.
before I let you go I want to say I love you
I hope that you’re listening’
‘Coz it’s true,baby
You’ll be forever in my heart
And I know that no one else will do, yeah
So before I let you go
I want to say …..
I love you….. So before I let you go
I want to say… I love you
—-
He paused… closed his eyes and spoke “Goodbye babe” he stood up, turned his back and slowly walked away. He didn’t know where he was going, all he wanted was to get out of there and just forget about everything.
People at the club was bewildered, and was unable to speak. His performance affects them all.. they didn’t know why but his sincerity passed through them.
Jaejoong went out of the club and sat right next to its door. He have never felt so much pain in his entire life, not even during the time when his mother left them. not once did he allowed anyone to see his vulnerability. He hates how Dara Park made him the the person he is now. Someone who’s weak and vulnerable. Jaejoong’s head fell in between his legs and arms on his knees as he sat on the cold pavement. He heard shuffles and saw four pairs of shoes standing around him. He smiled thanking god for giving him the four as his friends.
He cried so much that he needed to gasp for air every after sobs. His mind was clouded, telling him that he did was just right, that it was right for him to let go. But his heart was aching so much that he knew he couldn’t just do it. He wailed in pain, it was too painful that asking god for death was all that he could think of.
“Dara I missed you. what will I do for you to be able to forgive me? Please forgive me. Please…” his sobs grew louder “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I love you… My life is all messed up! you’re the only right thing in it, how can you just judge me and not listen to anything I say? I did it because of you…. I’m so sorry”
His hands covered his eyes, and was continuously wiping every tear that flows down from it, while all his friends sat around him, giving him encouragement and support. He needed her. He needed her love.
*********************