Fan Fiction |
by KENLI
“Rainie, you have to focus, we need to perfect and polish the moves before opening night! I know everybody’s really tired but please we have to do this” barked the director. “sorry!” I replied, my mind was really into the choreography but it seems my body is really not cooperating, we have been at it since 10 this morning, and its already 9 in the evening and were still at it, it’s just that this dance move is really making my body scream for mercy.
My partner just looked at me helplessly and whispered, “ we can do this Rainie, just one last try”, “Ok, I’m sorry, lets do this”, and I again danced like it is what I was really born to do…..
”Ok. everybody, that was Great! Lets just hope opening night would be perfect and flawless, lets call it quits for tonight, and no rehearsals tomorrow, take a good rest the whole day and see you on Thursday” cried Zach, as he gave us his a thumbs up sign and his very affecting grin. Well everybody heaved a big sigh of relief after that announcement.
After I have changed out of my dance outfit, I picked up my stuff and was heading out, when Zach, the company director and a very good friend of mine called me, “hey Rainie, wait up”, “ If this is about the moves, Zach, I’m telling you, I can’t handle a lecture tonight, I’m really tired, my back is aching, my feet are killing me, I’m really hungry, and you’re holding me up”, I said this with my hands on my side, but I was smiling.
“ Ok, I know, just want to say, lets grab a bite before we head out, ok?, my treat!”, I had a huge grin on my face after this statement from him, “I’ll just drag Anne out of the dressing room, wait for us at the lobby” I called out to my friend, as I was approaching the dressing room, Anne came out, “Finally! I thought I was going to call out a search party for you, lets go, Zach’s treating us to dinner” I stated as I held my friends hand and dragged her out to the lobby. “What’s up with Zach, treating us to dinner, that never usually happen before a big opening, he always usually remind us of eating too much, before a performance night.” Said Anne, “don’t ask me, I’m really not sure either”. I replied. Anne and I then walked out to the lobby to meet Zach.
Anne and Zach my two lifelines, ever since I moved back to Canada, after the billboard incident with Ximen, 5 long years ago…..After coming back to Canada for the 2nd time, It was my dancing, together with Anne and Zach that has mended the broken me. After my Pa had finally let me pursue my dancing, after much convincing with the help of my mom and brother he finally relented, but only after he has observed that I was really unhappy ever since we moved to Canada, we even had a heart to heart talk about what it was that was making me unhappy, I finally told him about Ximen, I never thought that my Pa would really understand but it seems I have underestimated him, and he just let me cry on his shoulder while holding me and telling me that his baby has finally grown up.
I immediately dropped out of management school and enrolled at Julliard, Toronto, and after a year I was drafted by ABA, I’m proud to say that all the directors of Julliard told me and my mom, that I was the best dancer they ever had in Julliard, so even for a short span of 1 year I was accepted at ABA, and didn’t even have to go through the usual process of grueling auditions. The only downside was I had to move to New York and leave my family in Toronto, although I get to visit them at least once or twice a month, but whenever we have an opening for a new show, my family make it appoint to attend the opening night
I remember the first time I met Anne, she was really gorgeous, great smile and great legs, I totally thought she was a snob her being really gorgeous and a mean ballerina as I saw her audition tape, but when I got to talk to her we were just the same, totally terrified! She came from Chicago, and was also drafted by ABA (American Ballet Academy), since she was the best dancer in Julliard School of Ballet in Chicago, I was totally feeling out of it when she approached me, and asked where I was from, I was really used to it then, ‘cause as I keep hearing from other people in the Academy that I was only the 2nd Asian to ever be drafted by the ABA, the first one, “Ayen”, the current principal dancer is a Filipina, she really is what a ballerina is all about, Grace, flawless style, great feet, charming and gorgeous to boot, but she is the kindest and gentlest person I have ever met, so from the time Anne and I met her, she has become our Idol and personal mentor, and up until now, she still gives us tips on how we can still improve our dancing. After that Anne and I had become inseparable and we have been friends since then, I consider her to be my best friend in this part of the world, for I really needed one without Sancai here to support me, now Zach, he’s a different story, I can still remember how he has become Anne’s stalker (but I mean it in a good way), he was a director’s trainee then and he has persistently pursued Anne, until he was finally able to convince her to go out with him, (without me that is) so it has been smooth sailing until now, and it seems that Zach is really willing to wait for the right time, for him and Anne to be married, for a ballerina’s career is only good for 10 years, after that you move on to either become a company director or a choreographer.
“hey Rainie, snap out of it!” Anne said as she elbowed me, “you have spaced out again; you probably didn’t even hear what Zach and I was talking about”.
“Ooops, sorry, just really tired, and my mind is really wandering ...what was it anyway?” I replied
“well, as I was saying, as I was rudely ignored by you, the Company director told me that representatives from the Asian Ballet Association will be coming to the show, and if they really liked it, they will sponsor the tour of the company around Asia! Isn’t that exciting? So you two better dance your asses off, on the performance nights, or I will definitely have your heads!” excitingly exclaimed by Zach!
“ Wow, that was one very exciting piece of news! All over Asia were really world class, just last year we conquered Europe, and now we’ll have the chance to show Asia our stuff, definitely a Wow! Maybe we will be able to perform in Taipei, it’s really exciting, don’t you think so Rainie?”, Anne enthusiastically said.
At the mention of Taipei, it seems my world just stopped and my thoughts immediately went back to him…..5 long years will I really see him again, not only him, my mind thought of one particular girl that I have been missing a lot, Sancai, my bestfriend, maybe by this time she is already married to DaoMingSi, I lost communication with her, after I went back to Toronto the second time, for I have made up my mind that I needed to sever my ties to everything that would remind me of Taiwan, and of him. But I smiled on the thought of seeing Sancai, and the rest of F4.
It was not really because of the rejection that hurt me the most, it was the realization that there is only Xiao Gen in the heart of Ximen and no amount of loving on my part can fill up any void left by her, sometimes I selfishly wonder If I did the right thing in showing Ximen the billboard, at the back of my mind, I could just have had my week with him, but because of my naivety, I thought that by looking for whatever it was that Xiao Gen wanted to show him, he will have a closure on that part of his life and learn again to love, love me that is, but I was wrong, dead wrong in assuming that, and on that night I have experienced first hand, how cruel life can be….Up to now, I still sometimes dream of what had happened that night, and It always leaves me cold and scared, scared of looking into my heart and finding out that my wonky heart beats only and will forever beat only for Zhong Er Long Ximen. But it’s been five years now, and I have really tried to bury him in the back of my head.
“ you are totally out of it! You’re probably thinking about him again. Rainie, maybe it’s time, maybe this is really the chance for you to really give it another go, or to finally let it go. Maybe this is your chance to free yourself”, Anne said, with much seriousness, Zach just kept quiet, knowing that this topic is really serious, they both know the story, and Anne always say, that maybe Ximen really cared for me, that was why he let me go, and Zach would always mutter that Ximen was really a lucky SOB.