| Fan Fiction |
by Ruwee \:D/
Title: 2/5
It didn’t catch my attention, of course that doesn’t really make it lose that many points, but it was overused, there’s quite a few fanfic stories with similar, if not same story title as you. However, it did fit with your story nicely and it was used effectively unlike some titles are just made to catch peoples attention, but is later not mention in the story at all.
Characters: 5/5
It’s a one shot, I can’t really say anything else, plus, you used vivid descriptions of the characters, they were good enough that I can visualize them if I didn’t know them, so good job in the category.
Poster: 1/5
You did have something, but to point out the obvious, it was plain, if I was looking for something to read, I usually start out with looking at the poster, if the poster looks interesting then I would read the story – really shallow, but it’s the truth, that’s what most people do – and your poster was of nothing but a ferriswheel. Also you didn’t have any words on the poster, it would have been better if you would add the title somewhere in the poster, that would have been better than nothing.
Background: 1/5
I guess it’s a nice shade of gray, but it was once again, plain, there was nothing I find special about it. However, you did a nice job with the words, they were pink, however they didn’t mash with the rest of the background color.
Forewords: 1/5
To put it frankly, I didn’t read your forewords, it was too much advertising, and credits, so I skimmed through your story, don’t take it personal, but it was kinda boring, there was nothing in your forewords that caught my attention at all, however, I did take note of the song you composed, it was short, four lines, but it was sweet.
Flow: 17/20
I think the story flowed pretty well, none of the parts were too fast, and none was to slow, so good job in this category.
Writing Style: 19/20
Good job, I loved your writing style, it was mysterious, which is what I love in a story. You didn’t use script which is a good thing, and you used paragraph it’s easier to explain things using paragraph, and to put it all together, you used POV, which is another bonus, I am able to feel and see what the characters felt and saw, so good job ^^
Organization: 9/10
Good job, this story was well organize, nothing was out of place, or that’s what it seemed like to me.
Spelling: 9/10
It was superb, I caught some spelling here or there, but it wasn’t anything major ^^
Grammar: 7/10
You had some grammatical mistakes, like with capitalization.
Ferris Wheel (or however you spell it) doesn’t need to be captitalize.
“Erm…” He paused for a bit, trying to think of what to say as I waited patiently until he spoke again, “Your mom got me this as a gift.”
Should be: “Erm….,” he paused for a bit, trying to think of what to say as I waited patiently until he spoke again, “your mom got me this as a gift.”
And that was only some of it, other then that you did good on this category too ^^
Bonus: 2/5
There are quite a few stories like this, and plus ChunElla aren't my most favorite couple in the world, so it can't be helped that I didn't like this story as much as I should, but of course good job ^^
Total: 73/100
Good job, hope you liked your score
And sorry for taking so long
Hope to see you again ^^
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I couldn`t really care less if the review`s late or what not. And really, thanks a lot. :]]