| Fan Fiction |
by mangalover93
The title was really unique, and it’s perfectly fitting for a romance story!
Background/Poster: 7/10
The poster fit the mood and feeling of the story, but the background was very plain. Perhaps you could have spiced it up with a simple dark design to match the poster.
Forewords: 8/10
There wasn’t exactly anything WRONG with your forewords, but they seemed very boring. I did like the extracts and the warning. That way, readers who were attracted to your story know that it is a yaoi.
Plot: 14/15
The plot was very interesting, and though the coupling was expected, it was all still very nice.
Creativity/Originality: 13/15
I have read a lot of stories on winglin similar to this, but you still had parts that were your own. ^^
Speed/Flow: 9/10
You would have gotten a perfect score had the “coma” not lasted for a few days. ^^ This is coming from one of the only people on winglin who watches General Hospital, an American soap opera. Believe me; comas can get drawn out for a VERY LONG TIME.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 6/10
There were many mistakes involving spelling, grammar, tenses, and vocabulary. However, they didn’t hinder my reading. What you should watch out for: make sure your tenses stay the same throughout the story and watch for spelling by writing in MicWord or another auto-correcting program.
Characterization: 9/10
Since the other characters weren’t too important to the story, I won’t dock you too many points. To me, you described the main characters perfectly.
Writing Style: 10/10
What was VERY COOL was the use of second person present tense. Instead of the usual “Seung Ri walked” you had “You walk,” basically putting the reader in the lovesick boy’s shoes. Excellent job on that!
Overall enjoyment: 4/5
This was a very nice story, and (for one split second) I was on the verge of tears, thinking Seung Ri had died!
Sub Total: 85/100
Bonus: 3/5
I LOVE SEUNG RI. He is so cute…!
Total: 88/100
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THANK YOU!!!!! THIS WAS THE TOP SCORE SO FAR^^