Fan Fiction |
by Mimosa
Vivian sighed. It was indeed hard to be in Felix’s position. He must be exhausted, both physically and emotionally. Roger, for some mysterious reasons, had been out of sight since Saturday’s morning. Felix was quite annoyed, not because all the affairs had then fallen on his shoulder, but for the plain fact that Roger didn’t want to stay around him. Now that Felix had lost one brother, he felt the longing, the urge, to get closer to the one he had left. Felix had suddenly realized one thing. He had not really had any quality time with his family at all lately. He had been too consumed by the heavy responsibility in Antex, with long hour work and constant traveling. The limited time when he could make it home and around his two younger brothers, he had spent to criticize them. Felix bitterly realized he had driven his two brothers away with his over-authoritative air. Had he made the time and effort to understand them a little more, he would have not felt too lonely as he did at this moment. How ironic! One only regretted when it was already late, and nothing could be done.
Vivian watched Felix wearily. She was glad that they had decided to simplify the ceremony this morning. It would be brief since Felix was eager to have his father rest properly. It had been more than a week since Mr. Wong was murdered, and it was really a shame, Felix thought with dismay, that his father had been force to stay in that dreadful cold room of the police laboratorial facility.
“Shall we begin, Mr. Wong?” The priest asked in a low proper voice. Felix cast another glance around, hoping to find Roger, before giving him a slight affirmative nod.
The warm, monotone voice of the clergyman rose in the stillness of the early morning, echoed on the headstone and blended into the wind.
Felix shut his eyes. He didn’t catch a glimpse of a man in wrinkled black suit with a haggard face. He had chosen to stay away, keeping a distance.
“I’m terribly sorry, Dad!” whispered the man, “I’m sorry!”
Then he felt a sympathy squeeze on his shoulder. “You know it’s not your fault, Roger!”
“Thank, Jess.” He sighed, then turned and started walking away.
“Roger!” called the girl after him. Her tone held a faint tingle of disappointment. He stopped.
“Are you going up to meet them?” asked the girl softly. “I think you should,” she added. “Your father wouldn’t want you to be lamenting on something that is not your fault, Roger!”
“Well,” He spoke after a long while, “I… I guess you’re right!”
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The clergyman had almost finished when Felix heard Vivian uttered a little cry. He opened up his tired eyes and followed her gaze.
Then Felix himself startled slightly. Standing at the end of his father’s gasket with his head hung low, was his second brother.
Felix felt a surging mixture of emotions inside him. What was the meaning of all these? Vivian and he, they had witnessed with their own eyes when Gallen’s body was discovered that Saturday night. He had in fact sworn and testified to Peng Chau’s police that the body belonged to his second brother
Vivian shivered and got closer behind Felix. She didn’t believe in ghost story. But she did see the lifeless body of Gallen in his bloody shirt that night. There was no way she would mistake him for someone else. Vivian remembered she had even touched his face to wipe a peck of dirt before she fainted.
How could he be here, now?
The clergyman had finished and motioned to the helpers. Vivian stared without blinking. If the image of Gallen standing at the end of the gasket were her own illusion, he would have disappeared soon when the helpers approached. But no! He simply took a small step aside. Lifting his head, he cast a glance toward his brother and Vivian. He nodded to them.
“Felix!” Vivian uttered another cry. With only two long strides, Felix got himself formidably in front of Gallen.
“Dai Gor…” Gallen lowered his eyes rather apologetically “I should have called you and Vivian last night, but…”
Felix snatched Gallen’s collar and tie, clutching them in his fist, “What’s the meaning of all these?” He looked fiercely into his brother’s eyes “Tell me!”
Gallen didn’t quite know what to say. His brother had the right to be angry. “He must have been very upset over the news of my death, naturally so!” sighed Gallen inwardly as he lowered his eyes further.
Felix advanced one more step and, taking Gallen by the utmost surprise, drew the brother powerfully into a firm hug.
Felix’s action left Gallen stunned. Vivian heaved a sigh of relief, and suddenly felt so proud. Felix tried to appear tough and hard, but that was it - just a cover.
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Roger stood a few steps away, watching his brothers in silence. Nobody seemed to pay any attention to him. Would they welcome him, now that they knew he was the son of the murderer?
Jessica seemed to read his mind. “You’re their brother too, Roger!” She gave him an encouraging pat “Come on!”
Roger nodded and stepped up. He stooped and placed a white lily on his father’s gasket as the helpers lowered it down.
“Roger, where have you been?” Felix raised his voice lightly at the sight of his youngest brother. Vivian tugged at his sleeve thoughtfully, and Felix stopped
“Just about, Dai Gor…” replied Roger sulkily. He had no intention of explaining everything to Felix. Gallen would do that. Roger felt so tired. He got up and turned away…
“Roger!” Gallen blocked his way, “What’s Auntie Yung did can’t be undone, and it had nothing to do with you.”
“Yeah?” smirked Roger sarcastically “What she did have nothing to do with me, only she did that because of me! BECAUSE OF ME! How am I supposed to feel?” He pushed Gallen’s arm violently away “How did you feel when Hester jumped out of that building? I could insist you had nothing to do with that. But so what? Would you feel any better?”
“I... That’s different, Roger! Hester… she…” Gallen rubbed his temple, seemingly struggling for words. “If I didn’t fake my death, she wouldn’t have done so… So I’m clearly responsible for what happened to her.” He bit his lips, then when on firmly “What’s done has been done. I wish I would have gone back in time and change, but … I guess all I can do from now on is taking good care of her.”
“That’s right!” smiled Roger bitterly “I think Hester will be very happy with you!”
“Don’t get me wrong!” Gallen swallowed hard “I’ll be taking care of her as a sister, Roger! She loves you!”
Roger shrugged “You’re wrong! She doesn’t love me. She loves you, and only pities me!”
Gallen wanted to say something, but at a second thought, decided to hold it back. Maybe it was best for his brother and the girl he loved to figure out their feeling themselves. It wouldn’t matter what he said, Gallen knew his brother could not be convinced at the moment.
He stood looking after Roger as the later descended further down the hill, got into his care and sped off.
If he could turn back time, Gallen would have chosen not to begin with Hester.
She was a wonderful girl, and he appreciated the affection she had for him. They had had a great time together. She had been beside him through the worst moments of his life.
Yet it wasn’t fair if they went on. It wasn’t fair for her; it wasn’t fair for Roger…. It wasn’t fair for anyone! For he knew he couldn’t promise her his whole heart and soul.
They had been possessed long ago by the image of another girl. He should have known. Yes, he should have known he could never be able to forget Carmen!
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(Peng Chau Hospital, the night before – 12 p.m.)
Nick had left. Carmen had also left, quite reluctantly, to care for another patient. Gallen lied on his hospital bed, feeling restless. Tomorrow he would be transferred back to HK. His father funeral… Felix… Gallen eyed the phone… No, he should probably wait until tomorrow to break the news to Felix then. Roger… Gallen couldn’t mistake the pain and humiliation he had read in Roger’s eyes. It wasn’t easy for Roger to accept the fact that his own mother was the murderer. Then there was that cold glance Roger had thrown toward Gallen… What did it mean? It would mean only one thing – Hester.
He slipped off the bed and tiptoed out of his room. Alice had updated him on Hester's come-around. He wanted go see Hester. He might as well let her know everything about Carmen, once and for all.
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Hester’s breathing was ever so soft. The white bandage hindered part of her face, made it even paler under the soft creamy light. Her eyes lids fluttered every so often. She must have a bad dream, Gallen was sure. He clapped her petite hand in his and rested his head on them.
When he looked up, she was watching him. Her eyes, calm and clear, penetrated into the last cell of his conscious, pricking.
He let lose of her hand, but she tightened her grip lightly and brought his hand against her cheek. He cupped her face and traced his finger ever so gently on her lips.
“Hester, I’m sorry…”
“Me too, Gallen” Hester spoke, calmly to the point of startling him, “But I’m so glad you are alive,” she added sincerely.
He opened his mouth to speak, but she put a finger on his lips “I’d like to tell you a story, Gallen!”
Slowly, but collectedly, Hester told Gallen about her dream of the cozy cottage on the green hillsides, about the tiny wild flower, about the lake…
“I could remember the whole dream clearly, Gallen” Hester clapped his hand closer to her cheek and shut her eyes “but I didn’t see your face clearly.” She took a deep breath “I couldn’t make out the face at all…”
...
“I guess I want to have sometimes for myself, Gallen!”
He stood up apologetically, “Sure, Hester. I’ll visit you later then!”
“No, Gallen!” She looked at him straight in the eyes “I mean about us… I want to have time to think about what I really feel, about who I really want to be with, about everything.”
He stood in silence. She had actually said what he came here to say. Maybe it was better this way.
“I’ve lied to you about many things," Hester whispered after a seemingly infinite pause “I have been seeing your brother more than two years now… But I didn’t mention him when you came into my life and swept me off my feet..." She paused a little to catched her breath, then went on vehemently, "When I was supposed to tell the police the truth about Mrs. Yung, I was afraid it would hurt Roger. I was so afraid, Gallen, that I’d decided to keep silent..." She bit hard on her lips, "I thought I love you, but I had let you die... That's what I did."
His jaws stiffened.
“Do you hate me, Gallen?”
“No…” Gallen hesitated, then he nodded and began telling her. He told her all… About the moment he saw Carmen on the pavement last Friday, about the absence of Hester in his mind the night he was shot, the overwhelming of joy when he woke up and saw Carmen’s face, the tears in Carmen’s eyes just this afternoon in the cold room…
“You have never forgotten about her, have you?”
“I’m sorry, Hester!”
“No you’re not… I guess we’re just not meant to belong to each other… Well, Gallen, I wish you the best. I wish you and Sze Sze a happy ending.”
“Hester,” he squeezed her hands “I…”
“I know, Gallen!” Hester smiled tenderly “I’d like to be your friend, too!”
Gently but firmly, she withdrew her hand from his “Go, Gallen. Go and tell Carmen what you feel about her.”
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Gallen had left Hester’s ward with a mixture of indescribable feelings raveling in his mind. He couldn’t quite sort it out. It was partly relief, yet it was horridly vacant…
Passing by Carmen’s office, Gallen hesitated. His heart beat a little faster. He really wanted to see her…
His hand froze in midair before it would knock on the door. From inside, Carmen’s voice was warm and clear…
“I’ll be back in three months, Kevin!” She sounded cheerful “You would also visit me here…”
The mere mention of the name hit Gallen as a flash of icy water.
Silly him! What had he been thinking? She’d found Mr. Right in someone else. Shouldn't he remember that?
What he felt about her, she’d better not know. There was no point in disturbing her life now. As long as she was happy, he would be content to bury his own feelings to the deepest part of his heart.
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