| Fan Fiction |
by mushiromigal
Author: mushiromigal
Fanfic link: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/mushiromigal03/
Reviewed by: Nicole
Poster/Background: 4/5
Comment:
The poster looks wonderful but it doesn't seem match the story. It mostly about how Hebe admires Arron from distance but never tells him anything. Well it doesn't give me that image or feeling.
Title: 5/5
comment:
The title matches the story very much. I really like the story.
Forewords: 8/10
comment: I thought the forewords is wonderful but you didn't include any brief info about the characters. I had to deduct some points b/c of it. Otherwise your forewords is great!
Style of Writing: 15/15
comment: I found your first chapter pretty cute! You understand what I'm saying right? I especially love it when you wrote this:
"From a distance i see you
Wish i could go right up to you and talk
But fear grip me
Hopefully one day you will smile at me again"
Creativity/Originality: 17/20
comment:
the story is very creative but I'm sorta tried of reading stories about a girl admiring a boy and never says a thing until he has a girlfriend and etc... I deducted some points b/c I read too much of the same type of story. Other then that your story is beautiful!
Flow and Writing Style: 20/20
comment:
Love your style of writing! Continue writing more stories! =D
Spelling and Grammar: 19/20
comment: I found an error in chapter 1 but I doubled check the dictionary and I figure that it was okay. Your next error is in chapter 2 when you've written: "Yet i stand by a side
admiring you from a distance..." Yet I stand by the side admiring you from a distance..."
Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
comment:
I really enjoyed the story even thou I'm tired of reading the same types of stories. The story is also very cute! =D
Total points: 92/100
extra comment: I also want to say that it's not always popular and unpopular never mix. Sometimes they could. some popular people are just snobby but others are actually really nice. I think arron's the type whose really nice even if he is popular.