| Fan Fiction |
by mushiromigal
Title: 9/10
The title is alright and it relates to the story. But, you should capitalize the ‘i’ and replace the ‘…’ with a comma. So, a mark deducted for that.
Poster: NA/5
Since you didn’t have a poster, I won’t grade this.
Background: 5/5
The black and white combination is effective and the readers can read the text easily.
Forewords: 10/10
I like the forewords because it gives a brief idea of what it is about. The sentences have quite a deep meaning. I’ve always tried to do that but I failed. Good job! =]
Plot: 8/10
Your plot is nice. =] It is creative and unexpected. Plus, you used happy endings. I love happy endings!
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 14/15
Your typos are still there, although not as much. But capitalization is still a must. Maybe you’ll want to type the story onto MS Word so it can check your spelling and grammar. :))
Creativity: 14/15
The main parts are ok, since Hebe liking Arron in secret is quite common. However, I liked the ending very much as it is quite touching. When it all turned out to be a misunderstanding and Hebe and Arron reconciled and became a couple! It was an unexpected twist and it is creative!
Writing style: 4/5
The script format doesn’t depict the emotions, the description and the actions much. Perhaps a good blend of script and novel format will be better.
Reader friendly: 5/5
You are very friendly! :)) I don’t think there’s any problem.
Characters: 5/5
The pairing is popular (And I noted that the same pairing has been used in almost all of your fanfics) so I can’t complain.
Flow of story: 10/10
The flow is okay to me, neither too fast nor too slow.
Bonus: 5/5
I liked your story, especially your ending. =]
Total score: 89/95 (93/100)
You did really well and it was refreshing to see a 4-chapter one-shot. XD Well done :]
Thanks angelheartED!!!