| Fan Fiction |
by afhilangie
Thanks Angelynn!
Title: Her Own Prince Charming
Author: afhilangie
Title: 3/5
It doesn’t catch one’s attention very well as most titles are along the lines of ‘Prince Charming’. Although it doesn’t stand out much, it does hold a very strong connection to the story. The title’s relation to the story is already clearly shown in the first chapter and it’s good as it doesn’t leave the reader thinking about the meaning behind the given title.
Poster/Background: 8/10
The poster is well done and I can read the words without my eyes hurting. The points are deducted, however, because Wang Zi occupies more space than the 2 main characters. This could steer the readers in the wrong direction, leading them to think that the story is focused on him. Rather, the poster should consist of only Arron and Gui Gui as Wang Zi appeared for only a few chapters.
Forewords: 3/5
It tells the reader what to expect and traces the outline of the story. However, too much is revealed in the forewords and doesn’t leave the reader wanting to read more as they can more or less draft out the story in their mind.
Plot: 13/15
This kind of plot is very common in stories but something about your story sets itself aside from the others. Gui Gui doesn’t immediately feels that she loves Arron in your story, which is logical as she had just failed in her relationship with Wang Zi. Other writers would have written that the two of them became a couple right after her heartbreak.
Flow: 9/10
It was a little bit fast at one point, where Gui Gui intends to get serious with Wang Zi after knowing him for only a week. As for the other parts, it was just the right pace. You took time to let Arron and Gui Gui’s relationship become better and that’s a good thing.
Writing Style: 7/10
Your writing style is simple and it makes it easy for us to understand. However, words are repeated a lot of times and readers may find the content dull as it continues to be repetitive. Try writing from different point of views instead of seeing things from only one character’s perspective.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 4/10
There were rarely any spelling errors but there were mistakes made concerning grammar and vocabulary. Like I’ve mentioned, you repeat the same words and it makes the story dull. Try substituting the words with others and create a varying choice of words. Proof-read your chapters or ask someone to look out for mistakes to avoid errors in these fields. The use of punctuation should also be focused on as it helps to enhance the emotions in the story too.
Characterization: 8/10
The characters stay true to themselves throughout the story – with Arron being cold before confessing. However, Gui Gui contradicts herself sometimes. She’d be smiling about her short moments with Arron and then shoo all thoughts away of her loving him.
Originality: 6/10
The ice cold guy melting down after falling in love with a girl – classic love story. This plot is often used and written in many variations and your version was different as well. Arron is much more hard-headed than the male leads in other stories and he’s so cold to the extent that even Gui Gui couldn’t decipher what his actions meant before he confessed. This makes your story different from the rest.
Overall Enjoyment: 8/10
I like how it was obviously Arron who fell in love with Gui Gui first yet she was the one who had to force him to confess, wooing him in return.
Bonus: 4/5
Kyaa – this is redundant – I’m just happy that I guessed Wang Zi was a spy :D
Total Score: 73/100