| Fan Fiction |
by Phoebe a.k.a Phebs
His heart ached as he recalled the sweet scene of Aya and Jaejoong before him that few days ago.
“Aya has a fiancé now. Why can’t I get it through my thick skull?” Siwon muttered to himself as a bitter chuckle followed after. Memories started to rewind in his head like a film…
[+Flashback+]
Siwon remembered the looks on people’s face when they saw him back in those days. Their motions could be explained in three steps: eyes widen in fear, speed off to avoid any contact, and lastly glanced back their shoulder with a sigh when seeing him further from them. Why was it like that? All for one simple reason… he was the son of the most powerful black trial boss in Osaka. Also for that simple reason, Siwon was always seen with a cold, emotionless face – which many doesn’t see the sadness hidden behind it.
On that certain day, Siwon was going for his usual stroll on the park, eyeing the people by the corner of his eyes as one by one scurried away by his presence. He saw a bench a distance in front of him and decided to go have a sit. He wasn’t really tired, just the burden in his heart wearing him down.
Siwon halted when he was nearing the bench, reluctant to approach it when he saw a girl sitting herself there. Thinking how people would just scurry off from the sight of him, Siwon shook off his reluctance and sat himself on the available spot by the bench.
In his mind, Siwon was counting down that famous ‘three steps’ again, but the girl shown no reaction. Feeling weird, he tilted his head slightly to glance at her. The girl was wearing a simple floral dress with her long hair trailed down, covering partial of her face. She seems to be drawing something on the sketchbook placed on her lap while humming to a song with earphones plugged to her ears, connected from the iPod hooked on the waist belt of her dress.
Siwon cleared his throat loudly to catch her attention. Indeed it worked as she lifted her gaze to him. He peeked at her by the corner of his eyes, observing her reaction. She took one of the earphones away from her ears as she pushed her hair behind her ear and her eyes squinted at him.
Soon after her eyes widen and Siwon smirked, re-doing the countdown in his head.
“Excuse me, mister.”
His countdown was interrupted when she suddenly spoke up to him. He turned to look at her and saw her eyes were widen in excitement, not fear.
“Erm… do you mind being the model for my art?”
Siwon stared with bewilderment at her.
“Don’t you know who I am?” Siwon asked.
“Is it necessary for me to know?” She questioned back innocently.
“I am Choi Siwon.” Siwon answered.
“Nice to meet you! I am Aya Ueto!” She extended her hand to him with a wide smile. Siwon burst out laughing and she look puzzled at him.
“I am CHOI Siwon…” Siwon hung his words to see her reaction, only to earn the same puzzled stare from her.
“The son of the most powerful black trial boss around here? Don’t tell me you are completely clueless about it?” When Aya just nodded, Siwon slapped a hand to his forehead and sighed.
“So?”
“What do you mean ‘So’? Aren’t you afraid of me?” Siwon asked incredulously.
“Should I be?”
‘Should I be? What kind of question is that?’ Siwon thought furiously to himself.
“Look! Do you want to be my model or not?” Siwon turned back to look at her and saw her giving him a impatient look.
Giving a few thoughts to it, Siwon finally nodded. Aya’s face bright up in joy and she gripped his hand, dragging him off with her.
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“Hmm… something seems missing.”
Siwon stared confused as she circled him with her eyes furrowed. She stopped right in front of him again and leaned her face toward his; causing Siwon to avert his eyes as he felt his face heating up slightly.
She pulled back and continued furrowing her eyes at him.
“What?” He asked innocently.
She then turned her face towards a direction and her face suddenly brightens again.
“That’s it!”
Aya dashed back to the bench and dug her hand into her bag, searching for something. Not long after, Siwon saw her took out a plastic bag with a piece of bread in it. She sprint back to his side and shoved the bag to his face.
“What’s this for?” He pushed away her hand that was way too close to his face.
“To feed the birds.” Siwon followed his eyes to where she was looking and saw a flock of birds pecking on the ground.
“Come on!” Siwon was once again forcefully dragged away by her.
She squatted down a little further from the birds and took out the piece of bread of her bag, peeling it to many small bits before gently sprinkling them to the ground. She remained still as the birds slowly approached her and started eating the bread bits on the floor. Seeing her smiling so happily at the birds, a smile curved up Siwon’s lips as well.
Aya stood back up and walked towards Siwon side, handing the remaining bread to him.
“Now you try.”
“Me?” Siwon pointed a finger to himself and she nodded.
Siwon went forward and traced what she did but the birds seem to fly away from him.
“Show some smile and do like this.” Aya came to his side, taking a small portion of the bread from him and crunched it to tiny breadcrumbs before sprinkling them to the ground again. She then looked at him with a smile that made her eyes squinted smaller.
Siwon tried again… gently but the birds still flew away from him. A frown formed on his lips and Aya too felt bad for him.
As he was giving up hope and about to stand up, a bird flew from its flock and made caution steps towards him. Siwon eyed the bird earnestly as it stopped in front of him, staring to the breadcrumbs on the ground.
It tilted its head up to Siwon and Siwon flashed a light smile. The bird then dropped his head back to the ground and started pecking on the breadcrumb. Siwon gasped in joy and soon after, one by one the birds came to Siwon’s side as well, making the smile on Siwon’s face widen.
Aya slowly stood up and quietly walked backward to the bench where she sketchbook was; her gaze never leaving Siwon. She took out her pencil and swiftly captured this precious scene before her into one of her artworks.
After finishing their feast, the birds flocked off again and Siwon stared with that never-leaving smile as they flew further away from him in the sky. Then realization hit him as he whipped his head around, searching for Aya.
His eyes wandered back to the bench and saw her sitting there hugging her sketchbook while flashing him her sweet smile. He smiled back at her as he walked towards her.
“Here!”
She showed him the drawing when he reached her side. He took it closer to him and gazed in amazement of how it turned out.
The drawing was remarkable. It really looked like him. One thing he was surprised, was the smile on his face in the drawing. Did he really smile like that back then? Such natural smile… the smile that was long gone since his mother’s death – since he was suddenly outcast off the world with no one to care but all to avoid him.
“I tried to capture the best of you.” Aya’s words snapped him off his daze as he looked up at her.
“This is perfect… Can I have it?”
“No.”
Siwon was surprised she rejected him. Aya took the chance that he was temporary stunned and tried to grab back her sketchbook but Siwon swiftly held it behind him.
“This is just a rough sketch. I will pass you a better one when I am done with.” Aya stretched her hand out to him again in another attempt but still failed.
Siwon swiftly turned around and tore the sheet from the sketchbook before passing the sketchbook back to Aya.
“This will do.” Siwon was about to fold the drawing when Aya let out a yelp, causing Siwon to halt and stare confused at her.
“Sorry. This will be better.” She took the drawing from him and rolled it up nicely. Then she took off the ribbon that was tying the half of her hair up, letting her hair completely spilled down her shoulder as she used the ribbon to tie up the rolled paper, securing its shape nicely.
“Here you go.” She handed it back to Siwon and he nodded as thanks.
“I have to go now. Kaa-san will be worried. Bye! Thank you!” Aya bowed to Siwon before sprinting away.
‘No. Thank YOU.’ Siwon thought to himself as he watched her back fade from his sight. A smile set on his smile as he looked down at the drawing on his hand.
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The next day Siwon went to school with his usual cold attitude, glaring around at the people showing terror of his presence.
“Hey! You ruined my painting!”
Siwon darted his eyes to that familiar voice and saw her again.
‘So she is from this school as well?’ Siwon wondered. He made his way to her to see what was the commotion about.
“Who cares about your stupid painting?! You made me spilled coffee over my fine uniform. And your crash made me drop my phone.”
Aya ignored him and continued tapping tissue on the wet stain on her painting. As she bent her upper body down to pick up her art tools scattered all over the floor, the guy smirked as he eyed her slender legs.
Gathering her art tools in one arm, she stood back up straight and faced the guy.
“How much does it cost to repair your phone? Name your price.” Aya spoke sternly.
“Hmm…” The guy grinned widely and started moving closer to Aya. Aya moved backward as he got closer to her. When her back reached the wall she knew she couldn’t go anywhere as the guy braced an arm on the wall beside her head, cornering her.
“Wh-what do you want?” Aya stuttered, avoiding eye contact with him.
“Go out with me and we will call it even.” Aya gasped when she felt shiver as the guy caressed her face.
“Your skin is so smooth.” He grinned slyly.
“S-stop t-touching me. Or I will scream…” Aya stuttered and slowly turned down to a whisper as the guy leaned his face closer to her.
“Ooo… trying to fight back? I like that… Go on.” Aya felt herself shrank with her eyes shut tight as the guy leaned in to kiss her.
“Didn't the lady asked nicely? Now back away from her.”
The guy halted and turned away from Aya.
“Who dares to-” He ceased his words when he saw Siwon standing there behind him.
“Do I have to repeat myself?” Siwon spoke politely with a touch of threaten.
“N-no… I will be leaving now.” The guy was so afraid that he scurried off on both hands and legs like a whimpering dog. Siwon chuckled at the sight and shifted back his attention to Aya, who still had her eyes shut.
“It’s okay. He is gone now.” Aya slowly opened her eyes and stay stunned with her eyes widen at Siwon.
“What’s wrong?” Siwon asked softly.
“Erm… you are staying too close to me.” Realizing he had unexpected leaned his face close to Aya, Siwon promptly pulled back straight and looked away, fighting off the blushes that threatened to tint his cheeks.
Feeling his face not burning up any longer, Siwon shifted his gaze back to Aya and saw her gathering her scattered art tools again.
“Let me help you.” Siwon squatted down beside her.
“Thanks.” Aya smiled gently at him.
After finished gathering her stuff, Aya wandered her eyes around and was about to sprint off when Siwon held onto her shoulder, causing her to halt.
“Where are you going?”
“I need to pass this money to the guy just now.”
Siwon was dumbfounded by her words.
“Why do you want to find him? He almost took advantage of you.”
“Still… I owe him for the damage to his phone. It was my fault I didn’t watch where I was going.”
Siwon snatched the money from Aya and she stared shocked at him.
“Hey!”
“Let me do it. It is not safe for you to go.” Siwon offered.
“That isn’t necessary. You will just scare him away again.” Aya tried to snatch back her money but he held it high above and he was too tall.
“I insist… I promised this money will reach him, okay?” Aya pouted but then nodded as thanks.
“Where are you going? You are taking lots of stuff there. Let me help you.” Siwon took the painting from her and followed her to where she was heading. On the way, Siwon noticed Aya kept staring at him and it made him uncomfortable.
“Why are you staring at me?” He finally asked.
Aya didn’t answer him but just stood in front of him, stopping his pace.
“Do I have something on my face?” Siwon used his free hand to touch all over his face.
“Hmm… you don’t look scary. Why is everyone so afraid of you?” Siwon laughed at her words.
“I am the son of a black trial boss.”
“So?” Again Aya came to not understand the reason to that.
“So… just that identity is enough to scare people off their pants from the sight of me.” Siwon explained further.
“But I think it doesn’t matter that you are the son of the black trial boss. You are you and your father is your father. Neither should have to be in connection to the other. I happen to find you are a very charming and handsome guy. Well mannered and a real gentleman. Many girls should be falling for you. But… something just seems missing.”
Aya furrowed her eyebrows some more at him and finally it hit her.
“Ah!” Siwon blinked frantically at her reaction.
“You need to smile more. Always with a cold face sends off bad aura. No wonder people avoid you.”
Siwon laughed at her logic.
“You are one interesting girl.”
“You look better when you are smiling. Trust me. Happiness is the cure for everything.”
Siwon laughed some more before stopping, wiping the tears brimming from the corner of his eyes.
“I haven’t smile these much since my mother die…” Siwon’s eyes show sadness as he looked down.
“Well my father is dead too. But I am still living happily with my Kaa-san.” Siwon looked back up at her and the sadness instantly disappeared.
“What did you say your name was?” He asked.
“Ueto… Aya Ueto.”
Siwon did a gentleman’s bow at Aya.
“Well Miss Ueto, would you care to be a good friend of Choi Siwon?”
Aya giggled before she too did a polite bow as well.
“It will be my honor.” Both Siwon and Aya exchanged smiles.
[End Flashback]
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Facing the calm waves of the sea wasn’t enough to washed off the feeling he was at now. Siwon held up his tightly clenched fist before his face, slowly lifting his fingers away to reveal the object on his palm.
It was the ring he wanted to propose to Aya with. He remembered studying overseas and yearned everyday to see her smile. Then on one fine day he walked past a jewelry store and spotted the most perfect ring – a pair of ring in fact, each with a dove on it, which could be joined together to formed a pair of dove flying side by side.
Both the doves’ eyes and the little mistletoe held in the doves’ mouths were both plastered with glittering diamonds. He remembered how excited he was to go back to her and present the ring to her, to finally express how he felt about her and claim her as his once and for all.
So why was the ring still with him? Cause being patient to prepare everything for the most perfect event, he lost his chance as his heart shattered receiving an email from her about finally finding the guy of her dream. Uemura Kazuki was the name… and it seems as early as Siwon thought he was to have met her, Aya and Kazuki had long met since young with fate’s string to pull them together once more after so many years. The two matched up almost instantly and became each other’s destined soul mate.
How was Siwon to compete when he is way over here in London while Aya is way over there in Japan. Siwon never expected a rival to appear so suddenly on his absence. As he wished her the best of happiness with an aching heart, his heart pierced deeper when he realized the truth that he had always been one-sided – that Aya’s heart wasn’t for him to hold, but only their friendship was his to keep for eternity.
Siwon broke off from his thoughts with the ring now tightly clenched in his fist again. He swings his hand backward, preparing for the force of throwing this treasure into the sea in a lost of hope but then a voice stopped him…
“Siwon?”
Siwon reeled his hand back and stuff it into the pocket of his jacket.
“Aya… What are you doing here?”
“I was drawing nearby when I suddenly felt asleep. What are you doing here, Siwon?”
Aya took off the earphone she had on and look puzzled at Siwon. Seeing her right now reminded him of the first time they met. Only now her hair was shorter and she was wearing jean.
“I am just… enjoying the view of the sea. Missed the scenery here when I was at London.” Siwon turned back to stare at the wide sky.
Aya went to stand beside Siwon and breathe into the air.
“It is great here. Was London anything compared to here?”
“None at all…” Siwon replied as he stared down at Aya.
‘Because there is you here….’ Siwon thought to himself.
They remained silent as they indulged the calmness of the moment. But then Siwon spoke up.
“Aya…”
“Yes…?”
“If you love someone deeply… but that person has… someone else now. Do you think it is worth continue striving for that slim possibility that she will love you eventually?”
“Siwon… you sound so… deep today.” Aya teased. When Siwon just remained silent, Aya put some thoughts to it before answering.
“Well… if you don’t try you won’t know the result. Sure it may be unfair to the person she is already with. But everyone deserves a second chance before sealing the knot to marriage. No matter how the outcome will be. The process is what’s important… that you have given it your all and will not keep it as a regret.”
Hearing Aya’s words, Siwon somehow felt lighter inside.
“So… who is this girl?” Aya questioned.
“What?”
“Who is this girl that put Choi Siwon in such a big mess? Do I know her?”
“Erm…” Siwon was stuck at the words to explain.
Seeing him hesitating like that, Aya tried playing around guesses her mind. But then a possibility hit her that made her afraid of the answer she will get.
“It can’t be…” She was unable to put the words out straight. Siwon too knew from the look on the face Aya must have figure the possibility. He knew he have to make his choice – to admit it and risk their friendship or to hide it and strive for another chance next time.
“Siwon!”
Siwon whipped his head to the back and saw Yeon Hee coming his way.
“Yeon Hee ah. I thought I told you to wait for me.” Siwon put his hand on Yeon Hee’s shoulder as she reached his side.
“Siwon…” Yeon Hee spoke almost inaudibly as she stared up at Siwon.
“This is…”
“Yeon Hee… this is Aya. Aya… this is Yeon Hee.” Siwon purposely speak no further and just held onto Yeon Hee’s hand.
“Oh.” Aya sighed in relief inside.
“But then… the question just now…”
“Oh. Silly Yeon Hee here was troubled by her friend’s problem lately. So I thought of asking another person’s opinion. Right, darling?”
“R-right.” Yeon Hee was still stunned by what was happening. But she knew she should just agree to everything right now and ask for an explanation later.
“Aya-chan!”
This time, Jaejoong came and stopped nicely by Aya’s side. The expression on Yeon Hee’s face changed instantly when met with Jaejoong’s eyes and so does he.
“Kazuki. You are late!” Aya pouted.
“Ah~ Sorry. Who is this?” Jaejoong asked as Yeon Hee still looked distress at him.
“Yeon Hee… this is Kazuki, my fiancé. Kazuki… this is Yeon Hee…”
“Siwon’s girlfriend.” Aya leaned close to Jaejoong’s ear and whispered the remainder.
Jaejoong plasted a smile to his face as he extended his hand to Yeon Hee.
“Nice to meet you!” Yeon Hee snapped from her daze and shook his hand. She was surprised how Jaejoong could act like they just met, completely fooling both Siwon and Aya.
“Well, we should be going.”
“Uhm! Bye Siwon. See you at the art exhibition.” Siwon nodded.
“You will come too right, Yeon Hee?” Aya turned to Yeon Hee.
“Yes.” Yeon Hee answered with a smile. Aya shows her usual smile before bidding them goodbye and walked off with Jaejoong.
Siwon and Yeon Hee walked the opposite direction; their hands still holding together because Siwon knew Aya would definitely sneak a peek back at them.
And just as predicted, before Siwon and Yeon Hee couldn’t be seen from her sight, Aya sneaked a glance over her shoulder at the two, smiling as she turned back and started whispering and talking with Jaejoong again.
After ensuring they had walked far enough, Siwon glanced over his shoulder to the back to check if Aya was still near in sight. He uttered a sigh of relief when he saw no one was behind them any longer and promptly released his hold on Yeon Hee’s hand.
“Sorry about that.” Siwon quicken with an apology follow after. Yeon Hee just shook her head showing she was fine.
Siwon continued walking forward and didn’t realize Yeon Hee slower her pace till a sudden stop. After it hit him, Siwon looked back at Yeon Hee and traced his steps backward to her.
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
“That… was her isn’t it?” Yeon Hee managed to get the words out.
Siwon just nodded with no further words uttered.
“So just now… it was only an act, right? No further meaning to it?” Yeon Hee continued.
Siwon felt the guilt inside that instant. He could not say any more and just lowered his face.
“Yeon Hee… I am-”
“It’s okay… I understand. I will continue mainting that identity for you in front of her. If that is what you want.” Yeon Hee cut in before he could say what he wanted.
“Yeon Hee… Please don’t say that.” Siwon reached a hand to her shoulder but she flinched so he reeled it back.
“I’m not worth… It’s not you… it’s me… All I can say is… sorry.”
“What are you saying…We are friends right? It is just right for me to help you. Just an act right? Nothing more to it.” Yeon Hee could feel the tears starting to gather in her eyes. She can’t let Siwon see that, she has to leave now.
“I… erm… I have to go to the hospital. You are going back to the mansion right? You don’t have to send me since both are of different directions.” As much as Yeon Hee tried to conceal her emotions, her voice still sounded a little cracked.
“Oh… okay.” Siwon didn’t know what to say. He knew whatever he say now couldn’t make her feel any better.
“I am going now. See you soon, Siwon.”
“Take care, Yeon Hee.” Yeon Hee forced a smile to her face as she nodded. Turning away to leave, she made sure she don’t look back at Siwon and her pace unexpectedly became faster. The tears couldn’t hold in any longer and started rolling rapidly down her cheeks.
With Siwon still watching her back as she walked further away from him, Yeon Hee restrained herself from lifting her hand to wipe the tears off her face. Only when she turned a corner did she let herself release it all out, feeling the pain in her chest that, as much as she already prepared herself for, was still unbearable.
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Author's Note: I am glad to be able to do an update this week. Surprising when I get back to school the ideas just popped out more and I could write quite freely. :P For now I could do an update a week and hopefully will increase to two updates a week.
As the title says 'His memory of her' - Siwon's memory of Aya. A little revelation, actually Siwon dated Yeon Hee back at the time he was in London, thinking it could help him let go of Aya. But after dating for a few months Siwon still couldn't let go of Aya so he broke up with Yeon Hee but Yeon Hee is still waiting for him till now. Haish~ Siwon shouldn't have even started with her from the beginning.
Hope you enjoyed the story so far. I hope silent readers can come out to comment once in awhile. It will really motivate me to update faster. Comments and criticism are more than welcomed! ^^