Fan Fiction |
by persephone
His hold on the sword tightened. Seconds ticked by, but he remained immobile. He wanted nothing more than to run the blade straight into her heart. To end the misery she had given him. Her treachery was pinching and gnawing at his core until his sanity threatened to crumble. Bitterness leaked into his expression.
“So it was a setup from the very beginning. And like an idiot, I trusted you! To think, all this time, it was my very own wife behind the scheme to bring down my empire. My dear empress, it appears I have gravely underestimated your intelligence. Your superb acting skills really do deserve accolades. It must be a terrible disappointment for you to see that I’m still alive.”
His voice was dripping with hate and disgust. Each venomous word was like a sharp dagger, cruelly slicing at her flesh. He was drowning her in a pool of sorrow with no outlet to rise back up. He would never know the extent of her anguish. Against her will, she was forced to split her loyalty and endured years of emotional pain. Now, shot by his condemning look, she felt her body stricken with inconsolable grief.
“Tell me, have you ever loved me at all?”
“You may not believe me, but I have never truly desired to plot against you,” she earnestly stated. “Even though our relationship is based on lies and deceptions, my love for you has never been false. Unfortunately, no matter how deeply devoted I am to you, there are more important things beside love. I cannot stand back and watch you continue to murder my people in your quest for world power. Because I am still a citizen of Song. As their princess, I am bounded by honor and duty to prevent my country from being wiped out. There was no other option left for me.”
He staggered away from her and started to laugh uncontrollably. It was a mirthless sound that tore at her conscience. The sword dropped to the ground, giving off an eerie sound in the spacious room. Torment raged through his body. How cruel fate had tempted him. He gazed longingly at the face that had totally consumed his mind and soul. Her tearful expression chipped away at his defense and he could not make himself hate her. Regardless of what she had done, there was certainly no way he could kill her. For the first time in his life, he truly understood the feeling of being completely defeated.
“Leave here and never come back. I don’t ever want to see you again,” he said in a dejected voice.
She slowly shook her head and leaned in to hug his leg. She grasped his large hand in her small palm and rested her head against his thigh. Any contact with him felt vastly soothing. Hot tears flooded her eyes and soaked through his clothes. There was barely any energy left in her body as she spoke. “No. I am your wife. Whether alive or dead, I want to be by your side. Always.”
He gazed down at the pitiful form softly sniffling and clinging to his leg. At that moment, she appeared so very small and vulnerable. He was unable to turn away from her. Crouching down, he gently cupped her cheek. He suddenly realized she was frighteningly pale. Her lips had drained of all color and she looked close to collapsing.
“Are you alright?”
She smiled and her face lit up with contentment. Her arms encircled him and her head nestled against his chest. “After everything I have done, you are still concern for me. I feel so happy.”
She was his beloved empress, the only woman able to ensnarl his heart. He held her fragile body in his strong embrace, not wanting to ever let her go. Unexpectedly, her body started trembling. Her hands became icy cold and she was breathing in erratic, shallow pants. Alarm ripped through his veins when she coughed up a mouthful of blood. Thick crimson liquid splattered on her white gown.
“Siu Yi! What’s happening to you?!”
She was fighting for each breath. “Sorry… I couldn’t help you achieve your goals,” she weakly told him.
“Did you drink poison?! What did you take?!” The thought of losing her terrified him. To never see her smile or hold her in his arms again was too devastating. Fear ripped through him like a burning knife. “Don’t worry, Siu Yi. I will find the royal physician. He can save you.”
“Too late. There is no antidote.”
“Why did you do it?! Why?!”
“I have failed my assignment, betrayed your trust, ruined your ambitions for a unified nation, and caused the slaughtering of countless soldiers. I did not personally kill them, yet their deaths are on my hands. I need to provide what little atonement I can for my crimes and give all those lost souls a good answer.”
“Why are you so foolish?”
“As a traitor to Jin, I have no right to ask for anything, but I hope Your Majesty will agree to my one last request.”
“What is it?”
“Peace… between Jin and Song.” She was using her last breath to plead for an end to the hostility between two warring nations.
Witnessing her dying right in front of him made everything else feel insignificant. She had been the source of his happiness for so long and now he was going to lose her. What was the point of gaining a vast kingdom without her by his side? He finally nodded his head and acceded to her wish. He could not bear to say no to her.
“I give you my word that as long as I am alive, there will be no more bloodshed on our soil.”
Tears of joy escaped the corners of her eyes. At last, she was able to force him to give up his ambitions. She had used her life to gamble and won. Gratitude filled her voice as she spoke. “On behalf of the millions of people… I want to thank… Your Majesty.”
She studied his handsome features, wanting to ingrain them into her soul. It was the first time she witnessed him crying. She huddled close against him. They had so little time left. Her trembling hand reached up to smooth away his tears. She desperately wanted to erase his misery. Leaving him was the hardest decision in her life.
“Tell them you sentenced the death of a spy. You can wash your hands of all matters concerning me. Salvage your honor and respect in front of your followers. You will still remain their hero. They will forgive you for being temporarily blinded by an evil woman.”
After another fit of cough, she was drained of all strength and knew it wouldn’t be long before total darkness envelope her. “I love you. There were plenty of chances for me to kill you, but I couldn’t do it.” She spoke so softly that he had to strain to hear her.
“I know. I know.” His voice broke as wiped at the blood spilling down her chin. He felt like cursing at the heavens above for toying with him in such a cruel manner.
“How wonderful it would be then. No more fighting, no more war. I have longed for such a day.” The intense burning from the poison made it difficult to talk. If only there was another option available for her. “Forgive me,” she managed to whisper.
“No, I will never forgive you! How can you leave me like this?”
“I’m so cold.”
He tightened his hold on her, practically gluing her quivering body to his. He rubbed her small hands, futilely trying to give her some warmth. Being a powerful emperor, he held people’s lives in the palms of his hands, yet he was incapable of saving the one person that matter the most to him. She was rapidly slipping away and all he could do was watch. He tenderly brushed away several strands of hair from her temple. His eyes held unspoken sadness as he felt an essential part of him fading with her.
“If… if… there is a next life, would you… would you still want me to be your wife?”
“This life, the next life and till the end of time, you will always remain my wife.”
“Can you find me?”
“No matter where you are, I will find you, my love.”
“Remember your promise… Lam Fung.” His name was a whisper on her dying lips. Her head rolled limply to the side and her eyes closed for the last time. No more tears, no more pain. She welcomed the blessed darkness that came to engulf her. It was an end she had chosen and one that resolved all the problems that tormented her young life. The choices she made, whether right or wrong, were done in a desperate attempt to save those she loved. She had achieved what she set out to do. Finally, she was able to find the solace she had craved for so long.
~~ The End ~~