Fan Fiction |
by Shy Girl1988
“Life is good,” I declare with a relaxing sigh, as I leaned back into my comfy leather coated seats of my brand new black 2004 Lexus Convertible, enhanced with a top of the line surround sound stereo.
At seventeen, most wonder where I get the money to buy such a pricey car, but when you live away from your bachelor father who thinks nothing but making more money than he can ever spend. Who’s ideal belief of male bonding and fatherly love is shown through pricy materialistic artifacts, such as giving his distant, estranged son a car for his seventeenth birthday, then you’ll know, but it’s not like I’m complaining.
My parents were never married, they were together for a short period of time, mom became pregnant with me, and dad left her, promising to provide the best he could for the both of us, and he did just that, after ten years of struggling through school and abandoning his family, but eventually he became capable of providing me with more materialistic things then I can ever manage. One night of meaningless sex led to a lifetime of commitments. “Pretty lame,” I snorted.
“I’m not like that. I’m anything but like that, because I have Kristy. I love her, and she loves me. We’re committed to each other, and only to each other. We didn’t have meaningless sex, we made love,” I silently assure myself, as I reminisce, of that fateful night when my love, gave me her everything, her heart, mind body and soul. And unlike my own parents we were careful we used protection, so we’re safe.
I glanced out the window, seeing my girl slowly approaching my car. She looked so adorable, even in old slacks and a worn out sweater. I got out of the car to greet her, but before I could make it around the front of the car she spoke, “Louis, we need to talk,” she says looking into the car.
“This doesn’t sound good,” I say playfully as I run and open passenger side door for her. Her features didn’t change, as she sat in the car, never looking at me once. I carefully closed the door, and ran around and slid into the driver’s seat.
“Where to?” I ask cheerfully, trying to lighten the mood.
She didn’t look up, her eyes remaining focused on her runners, and her hands fidgeting in her lap. “Somewhere we can talk in private…” she whispers, I could barely hear her. “Anywhere…just not here,” she glances up at her apartment, as I started the engine and the car began to accelerate.
As we pass a nearby park, Kristy instructs me to turn in and park the car there. I do as told, and pull into the park parking lot. I slowly turn off the engine. “This isn’t going to be good, is it?” I say softly. I can feel her body stiffen against her seat. “Am I in trouble?” I ask childishly, trying to cheer her up, as I take her palm in mine, in a poor attempt to sooth her stress.
“Louis, I’m being serious,” she sounded deadly serious, but at the same time exhausted. “All you ever do is clown around, can’t you be serious just once?” she declares, fully pulling out of my grasp.
I frown, sure my friends regard me as immature and a fool most the time, but not her, “But I thought you liked me like this.”
“There’s only so much a girl can take, Louis,” she sounded annoyed now. “When I tell you I want to talk, can you be the least bit considerate?”
I’m considerate. I took a deep breath, and looking back at her, I apologize boldly, “Alright, I’m sorry Kristy. I’m listening now. What do you want to talk about?” I ask.
Finally, she looks up at me, into my eyes. Her eyes reflect so much grieve and anxiety. I want nothing more than to take her into my arms and keep her secure, and I did exactly that, “What’s wrong?”
At first she welcomed the comfort, but reluctantly pulled back, “Last month, do you remember that evening I ‘spent the night’ at your place?” she asks, speaking extremely slow pace.
I couldn’t help it as a grin tugged the edges of my lips, but I wanted to tease her a bit, “Urm…last month? You spent the night?” I repeat, as if trying to locate that memory. I glance at her, and literally saw a fiery rage drown her beautiful brown eyes. I meekly chuckle, as I intertwine my fingers with hers, pulling it to my lips and kissing it softly, “Are you kidding me, how can I forget, the best night of my life?” I answer, in what I thought was a sweet and charmingly romantic voice.
“I was at the doctor’s today…” she began, her gaze shifting from mine again.
Why does she keep doing that? What’s keeping her from looking me in the eyes and speaking, like she normally does? Wait…did she say doctors? “NO! It can’t be…” I silently prayed that my hypothesis was incorrect.
“What’s wrong? Are…are you sick?” I ask, feeling myself fumble through the inquiry. Nausea churning in the pits of my gut as I await her delaying response.
“I’m pregnant.”
“How?” I ask dumbly.
“You know exactly how it happened.” She was right I did.
“But we used a condom!” I continue arguing.
“Well it didn’t work, I’m pregnant,” she responds, I didn’t realize how hurt she sounded until later.
A freight train of questions exploded in my mind and all I could say to her was, “Are you sure it’s mine?”
Seeing the reflection in her eyes, I saw how I just killed a part of her. Crystalline tears gathering around those beautiful brown orbs. Before I realized what I was saying, or assuming, I felt a burning sting against my left cheek, followed by a profane curse, as the door slammed and Kristy ran, into the darkness, likely back to her apartment building, locking herself up to cry.. I sat in complete horror as my brain slowly processed the startling information.
Part 2: What do you want me to do?
I couldn’t sleep all week. “PREGNANT!” my mind continuously screams. It was all I can think about. I keep asking, “Why?” My friends all brag about having sex, why aren’t they fathers? I do it once and all of a sudden my girlfriend’s pregnant? “It’s completely UNFAIR!” I growl, as I knock over a mountain of medical journals and textbooks.
I’m furious. Outraged! How could this have happened? We took the necessary precautions. We used a condom! I even made sure she wasn’t ovulating, she thought it was odd, why I asked her when her last period was, but still doing the necessary calculations in my mind, I was positive that it was safe, and yet...
“How? What am I suppose to do, now?” I groan, kicking the medical textbooks across the room. I stop. I stare down at the book, open to the conception unit. “Funny…” I sarcastically grumble at the irony. I start reading it and discover that condoms only work 97% of the time, the risk of pregnancy was still a good 3%. And because Kristy is possibly still growing, her menstruation cycle maybe irregular and her body can produce ova randomly each month. I silently utter a strand of profanity. “Well at least I know how, now.”
Still, I can’t accept this. I’m not ready. I know I’m not. I’m not responsible, I’m not mature, according to my mother I’m still a child myself! “Mom…” I mutter under my breath. How is my mother going to take this? How is she going to react when she finds out I’ve impregnated some girl? I sat on my bed, burying my face in my palms, “I’m not ready for this. NO. This can’t be happening.”
There’s so much out there waiting for me. I have still so much to learn and experience. I stare blankly at the phone sitting on the night stand. “I need to talk to her. I need to talk to her…” my mind repeatedly chanted, louder and faster as my analogue clock ticked.
Finally I dial her number, and wait impatiently as the phone continuously rang, but no one answered. Then it hit me. She’s home alone this weekend, her parents went out of town to attend a wedding. I curse silently as I grab my car keys, heading out my room, down the stairs, outside to my car. Thinking ill thoughts of what Kristy may be doing to herself, alone.
Once…twice…three times, I stood down in the lobby, constantly rang the buzzer intercom, but no one answers. I wait impatiently as another resident of the building allow me in, as he recognized me as Kristy’s boyfriend. I took the elevator up to the twelfth floor, making my way to her apartment. I don’t even bother to knock politely, but begin banging on the door consistently.
“WHAT DO YOU WANT!” I hear her muffled cries, through the door.
“Kris, let me in!” I exclaim.
“GO AWAY! IT’S NOT YOURS!” she cried bitterly.
I feel a tinge of pain eating away my heart, I regret reacting the way I did. “Just let me in, I want to talk! I’m sorry! I was just…I was just…scared…” I start rambling, not knowing what to say to make her feel better.
There was complete silence, and then I hear the unlocking of the door, and slowly the door open revealing Kristy’s degraded form, she looked horrible, tear-stained cheeks, eyes puffy red from crying. “Scared? Why should you be scared? You’re not pregnant!” her voice dangerously bitter. “You’re parent’s won’t disown you! They won’t kill you! You’re not the one who’s going to have to face nine months of isolation carrying this child!”
It’s now my turn to stare blankly at my shoes, “What do you want me to do?” I ask.
“What do you want?”
“My mom, raised me by herself while my dad went to school…and…” I began.
Part 3: Lost Dreams and New Hope
“So you’re going to dump everything on me? You’re going to ignore me, and even the baby after it’s born, until you finish school and have a job? It works out great for you doesn’t it? You walk away scratch free from this!” I hear her bitter laugh, “What?” she repeated. “I seriously don’t know what I expected from you anymore. You have no idea what this is going to do to me. You have no idea how this will affect my life. You don’t even care.”
“I do care…”
“If you did care you wouldn’t have left like that!” she yelled, as more tears stained her cheeks.
I reach out my hand to wipe away her tears.
“You have no right acting the way you did! You had no right to deny your responsibility in this matter. No right to run away, with your tail between your legs, and leave me with this burden.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry won’t change anything, I’m still pregnant. You shouldn’t be asking what you should do, but I should be asking you, what I should do now? How is my life going to be?”
“I just thought that you can handle the baby on your own for a little bit, while I go to university and get a job, so I can support you two,” I answered, it could work like that. It had to.
“Stop dreaming!” she exclaimed. “You want to be a doctor, that’s at least seven years in university. Seven years! Even if you do, do exactly as you say, I still end up raising this baby on my own, while your free to pursue your goals. And what about the baby? Will he just have no father at all for seven years, and then all of a sudden he has one? Be realistic!”
I paused, as I realized how similar what I was suggesting was to what my dad did to my mom, years ago. I know it wasn’t easy for her raising me on her own, and now I’m pushing Kristy, someone I claim to love, on the same life path as my mother. What am I thinking? I hated my father! I was silent.
“Well?” Kristy asks, her voice revealed somewhat of a concern for my silence. She wants to know what I’m thinking. “What do you have to say now?”
“Sorry,” I repeat. “I’m being selfishly stupid, aren’t I? This is more my fault than anyone else’s. You’re right, you shouldn’t be burdened to carry this cross on your own. We decided to have sex, and now we have to own up to the consequences, together. I won’t leave you…”
“I don’t believe you,” she tells me after a moment of silence.
I step closer to her, “I love you,” I utter the words I’ve told her so many times.
“This has nothing to do with whether you love me or not,” she simply replies.
“I’ll get a job,” I answer. “A job, so I can support you and the baby. Move in with me, so I can watch over you. I’m sure my mom won’t mind. She would sympathize with our situation. I’ll put off going to university, because now, that we have a baby coming, my goals don’t matter any more, because now we have to work together to raise our baby properly, and hope that he or she will make much more rational decisions than we did.”
“Really?”
I nod in response. I know I have to do it. I won’t be like my father, and bail on Kristy and my child, I won’t hide from my responsibilities as a father, until I myself am ready to be a father, because my baby is already developing inside Kristy, and in a matter of months, will be born, everything I do must be in the best interest of the baby now. It’s a drastic life style change, but I can’t abandon Kristy. I will not become my father. There’s no room for selfishness. No matter how hard my life will be, I have to endure it. I’ve made my bed, now I must lay in it.
THE END
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heheh wat do ya think? horrible? hehe...comment
Loadsa Luv
Shy Girl