Fan Fiction |
by Snowie Cupid
Title 3/5 – Having the (^V^) around the title makes it looks juvenile and sometimes even unprofessional.
Poster/background 9/10 – The poster was nice and fits with the story very well. It just didn’t look like a high-quality one.
Forewords 7/10 – Your forewords seemed mysterious enough to make the reader want to venture on. But it had some grammatical tense mistakes that made me wonder whether or not to mark you down on it. I decided to only because the forewords determine whether or not your story will be a good read or a bore.
Plot 12/15 – You stayed on direct course with your plot. Seeing as it was a quick read, you kind of had no choice to not go off on a tangent. The plot seemed weird at first, but it grew to me after reading on. I was excited for the next chapter.
Creative/originality 12/15 – Very original, thirteen out of fifteen for you. Never have I read a story like your. You lost two points because of the creativity. You were kind of descriptive, but you could have been a little more elaborate with explaining characters and the scenery a bit more.
Writing style 8/10 – Well, I do commend you for writing in paragraphs while others write in big chunks. However, you must start a new paragraph when someone new is speaking. This also applies to the character’s thoughts: write out the thought then start a new paragraph to start up a dialogue. Other than that, your writing style is good to go. Oh, and you should dedicate a paragraph to describing people, things, or sceneries.
Grammar/spelling/vocabulary 6/10 – You like to switch from past tense to present a lot when you’re in First-person: Every thought of him
Sends my heart beating for him (Sent)
Every word spoke to him (spoken)
Sends my love to him (Sent)
Every move that I made
Sends my legs to walk towards him (Sent)
You’re vocabulary was actually good though. I enjoyed the first paragraphs of the first chapter because you described Micky in a negative way. Most writers are afraid to downplay their characters. Another thing, you switched from First-person to third person in the first chapter too: "Coreen back to earth. I am late. Let’s go to the check in counter." Shendy recklessly pulled Coreen with her without second thought. Then, Shendy pulled Coreen into the airplane. Shendy pleaded me to let her have the window seat and I did, as I know that she is a window seat craver.
Characterizations 6/10 – Your characters seemed a little immature and clichéd in a way, but it’s rare to find a fic on Winglin that isn’t. They all seemed either too dramatic or just vague.
Overall enjoyment 3/5 – Although I gave you this score, I think you could’ve soared a bit higher; I’ve read some of you stories before.
TOTAL 66/90 Yay! You pass ^-^