| Fan Fiction |
by savior86
Watching the flickering lights down below, I let out a deep frustrated sigh. Should I go to her tonight or should I just let things cool down for the mean time? Aish! I’m a mess right now. Combing my fingers through my hair, I walked towards the spacious, dim living room, picking up a bottle of beer along the way. I drove like a maniac around town a while ago. Learning about Bomi’s pregnancy came as a shock to me. Should I be happy or what? Tilting the bottle to my lips, I tasted the bitter liquid swirl down my throat.
Suddenly, the buzzer rang, letting me know that a visitor decided to drop by. Putting the bottle down the table, I sauntered towards the door. I didn’t bother looking at the peephole since only authorized people are allowed in the building. Punching the combination, I carelessly opened the door. Bomi was standing before me, her eyes puffy.
Sh*t, I made her cry again.
“Jaejoong…”
Biting my lip, l looked down and motioned for her to come in. She slowly stepped in and glanced at me, assessing my mood.
“Have you eaten already?” Sighing, I rubbed my nape. She was wearing a black, snug turtleneck sweater. My eyes involuntarily darted towards her curving tummy. She was starting to show. I swallowed.
“Jaejoong, I was waiting for you… at the house… earlier, but…” Her voice trailed off.
“Sorry, dad called. He…” I made hand gestures voicing made-up excuses.
Bomi sat on one of the leather sofas, eyes wandering, “Have you been drinking?” She sounded a little disappointed.
I quickly cleared the messy table up, shoving the empty cans of beer, which litter the floor, under the table,”Wouldn’t you do the same thing?” crumpling a piece of soaked paper, I slowly faced her, “After receiving a startling news? Why didn’t you tell me Bomi?”
She bowed her head, clasped hands on her lap, “I thought we wouldn’t see each other again after…” She paused.
“So you thought I would not give a damn about you carrying my child without my knowledge?!” I finally snapped. “Do you really think me heartless?!” I stared at Bomi’s face. I talked to Yoochun on the phone, minutes after leaving the school. He confirmed to me that Bomi was indeed pregnant with my child even before they went abroad. He accompanied his sister to the hospital and that was when they found out.
“Do you see me act any different, other than a father, to Geunjoo?” Approaching Bomi, I knelt down, “Tell me, Bomi, is this your ultimate punishment for my deeds?”
She shook her head, “When I saw you again, I felt scared. I didn’t know how to act around you, let alone tell you of my condition, when the last thing I remembered between us was the beating incident.” Bomi’s voice was quivering, “When things between us started to get better, I assumed that you would just notice and I wouldn’t have to explain anymore.”
I stood up, feeling annoyed and frustrated at the same time, “I thought you were just gaining a little weight. How was I supposed to know that you’re pregnant?!” I turned around, “I wasn’t there when you had Geunjoo.” My voice starting to mellow, “I don’t have any clue about these things.”
“I’m sorry, Jaejo—“
“Are you really?” I cut in, rudely interrupting her. Running my hand over my face, I exhaled,”Because if you’re really sorry, you wouldn’t think of keeping something as important as this from me.”
“I didn’t plan to. Please, believe me, Jae.” Her crying voice breaks my heart.
“Did it ever cross your mind that I might want to share this experience with you?” I whispered. I turned my back on her. I refused to look at her because I know I wouldn’t be able to say all that I’ve been keeping inside me once I see her face.
“Jae..”
I felt arms slowly embrace me from behind, Bomi leaning her head on my back. I looked at her pale-pink arms. So soft. So slender… I bitterly smiled. It doesn’t seem like it belongs to someone who could hurt a cold man’s heart, “I wanted to experience running around shops, 3 am in the morning, trying to find a ridiculous food that would satisfy your cravings. To be beside you during your morning sickness and whenever you feel nauseated. The things they called sympathy pains.” Shoulders hunched, head bent, I softly whispered, “But you just deprived me of all that.” And with that, I unwrapped her arms around me. I slowly walked away from my wife.
~0~
Bomi’s P.O.V.
Standing outside the door of Jaejoong’s penthouse was more terrifying for me than being locked up inside a dark basement. I can feel a foreboding aura of gloom in the air, making me cry harder. My hands were shaking. When I heard the knob turn, I instantly looked up and saw a disheveled Jaejoong. He was wearing a casual, black, sleeveless shirt and faded jeans. I choked back my sob. He seemed a bit hesitant and unwelcoming when he saw me. After walking inside, I saw empty cans of beer scattered around the pad. After exchanging a few questions, I settled on one of the sofas, “Have you been drinking?” I didn’t expect Jaejoong to be in this state. I expected him to be angry and a little violent, but not like this, not like he was condemning himself for some sin he didn’t commit.
He walked past me and made futile attempts to clean the place, ”Wouldn’t you do the same thing? After receiving a startling news? Why didn’t you tell me Bomi?”
“I thought we wouldn’t see each other again after…”
“So you thought I would not give a damn about you carrying my child without my knowledge?! “Do you really think me heartless?!”
He was shouting at me, but then I can understand his anger-covered-pain. I can feel hot tears run down my cheeks. And then he was kneeling in front of me,” “Do you see me act any different, other than a father, to Geunjoo? Tell me, Bomi, is this your ultimate punishment for my deeds?”
I sobbed,” “When I saw you again, I felt scared. I didn’t know how to act around you, let alone tell you of my condition, when the last thing I remembered between us was the beating incident.” I was buying some time. I wanted everything to be okay between us before breaking the news to him. I was also hoping, with the way he showered me with attention lately, that he would be able to notice the changes happening in me. It was kind of awkward telling him that I got pregnant on the night of the company’s anniversary when things turned worse for us after that night, “I’m sorry, Jaejoo—“
“Are you really?” I automatically looked up, hearing his dejected voice. He looked so vulnerable, standing by the ceiling-to-floor glass walls of the penthouse, “Did it ever cross your mind that I might want to share this experience with you?”
I unfold myself from the couch and slowly approached him. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to say sorry. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t mean to hurt him in this manner. I wanted to, but I didn’t know how, “Jae…” Standing behind him, I carefully slipped my arms around my husband. I can feel the warmth of his back against my right cheek. It was painfully sweet, being able to hold him like this; I just wish we could’ve shared this in a different way. I tightly closed my eyes. I am a coward.
Suddenly, he spoke, “I wanted to experience running around shops, 3 am in the morning, trying to find a ridiculous food that would satisfy your cravings. To be beside you during your morning sickness and whenever you feel nauseated. The things they called sympathy pains.” I opened my eyes. I can hear it in his voice, the pain, the sorrow of losing a chance, “But you just deprived me of all that.” And then I felt him remove my arms around him. I was stunned… he left me in the living room. Hearing the click of the lock, I fell on my knees.
~0~