Fan Fiction |
by Suki Chan
“Sure.” Alex said casually. He held on her hand until the food arrived. He had no option but to reluctantly release her.
They had a very good time during the meal. Ka Ying seemed to be eased up a lot tonight. They chatted and laughed about a lot of happy times they had together in the past. Both of them seemed to be eager in picking up their memories.
Later in the night, the restaurant dimmed and servers lit up the candles on each table. Everyone began to quiet down and enjoyed the romantic atmosphere. Alex and Ka Ying had finished the food and were drinking the red wine. Through the flaring lights of the candles, Alex gazed at Ka Ying. The wine had turned her face red as if blush was added. It magnified her charm. Alex could hear his own heart pounding and his throat turned dried.
Ka Ying took a deep breathe, “Alex, I said I need to talk to you.”
Alex was fascinated by Ka Ying and did not hear her clearly.
“Alex…” Ka Ying called him again.
At this time, beautiful soft music started. A few couples left their tables and steadily walked towards the dance floor.
Alex approached Ka Ying and put out one hand, “May I?”
It would be embarrassing to Alex if she turned him down. She stood up and put her hand in his. They walked to the dance floor. Alex held her waist and she hung her arms over his neck. They began to move their bodies slowly with the tender music. Alex gazed at her and smiled sweetly, “Ka Ying, I’m so happy tonight. I’m so happy that we still have a chance to enjoy such a romantic time together. I hope from now on, we can stay together forever. We will never separate again.”
“Alex.” Ka Ying felt a pain in her heart.
Alex gradually moved his hands to her back and hugged her strongly in his arms. They could feel the heartbeats of each other.
“I really miss you, Ka Ying.” Alex closed his eyes to enjoy this intimate moment.
Ka Ying embraced him tightly. She did not want to let go of him.
Alex felt warm and fuzzy inside of him. He whispered at her ear, “Do you want to come over to my place tonight?”
Ka Ying was surprised with his sudden request. She felt so comfortable in his arms and did not want speak. She rested her head on him and did not say anything. They continued to hug and dance until the music stopped.
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Alex and Ka Ying held hands and went into his house. He closed the door and leisurely turned on a dim lamp beside the sofa. Alex looked at her and could not control himself. He reached out his arms to her waist and pulled her towards him. He kissed her lips tenderly. He stroked up her back and gently pulled down the straps of her dress. As he kissed her cheeks, he suddenly felt wetness dripping down her face. He left her face and leaned back to look.
“Why are you crying?” Alex uttered. He was still trapped in the mood.
Ka Ying slightly pushed him away and dragged her dress up back in shape. She gazed at him with tears rolling down her eyes.
“What’s happening? Did I scare you? Are you not ready for it?” Alex shook his head, trying to cool down a little. “That’s fine.You know I’ll never force you to do things you aren’t willing of. I can wait. I can wait until that day comes.”
“I’m sorry Alex, but that day will never come.” Ka Ying wept, “I said I need to talk to you. Tonight I’m coming out…is because I want to say good-bye to you.”
Alex was shocked and awakened promptly, “What are you talking about? What do you mean by good-bye?!”
She turned her face away from him, “I am going to study aboard. I am going to London.”
“What London? You mean you’re leaving? How long are you going for? When are you going?” Alex did not believe it.
“The flight is tomorrow night.” More tears fell down.
“You’ve planned a long time ago? You never mentioned it to me!” Alex raised his voice.
“Study aboard is always my wish. I’ve devoted all my life to other people: my family, you, and Wilson. Now I really hope to go outside to see the world and to do things purely for myself.” Ka Ying dropped down her head.
Alex recalled, “That day you were holding a thick envelope. That was your documents? I asked you what that was and you never said a single word about it! And you were even trying to lie to me. In fact, at that time, you’ve made up your mind already!” Alex turned upset.
“No Alex! At that time, I was still thinking. I couldn’t make up my mind…” Ka Ying muttered.
“So…you and I…what’s going to happen?!” Alex did not understand totally.
Ka Ying felt extreme pain at her heart and she was about to faint, “Alex, it’s impossible for us to be together again.”
“Why? Ka Ying? Tell me why?!” Alex grabbed her shoulder and shouted, “Is it still because of Wilson? Ka Ying! You two were the past and he’s married now!”
“No! For sure not! But even though I’ve broken up with Wilson, I cannot get back together with you again!” Ka Ying closed her eyes, “I won’t forgive myself. I betrayed you at first and now I can’t accept to come back to you ever again.”
“Look at me!” Alex turned her around, “Do you still love me?”
“I do! I love you Alex!” Ka Ying said in despair, “But no matter what, we can never go back in time. Things have changed and cannot turn back. I am no longer the Ka Ying in the past.”
Alex knew what she meant. He stated in a definite tone, “To me, that’s not important at all and I don’t care! I don’t care who you were together with! I only know that I want to be with you. I still want to be with you!”
Ka Ying shook her head in shame, “Alex! I’m nothing and I don’t deserve your love!”
Alex gradually released her, “Ka Ying, do you know how long we’ve known each other for?”
Ka Ying remained silent.
“To be exact, it’s three years eleven months and ten days! Almost four years! Do you know since the first day I met you, I’ve never had one single girlfriend beside you?” Alex laughed bitterly, “I had many girlfriends in the past but none of them worked out. Ever since I met you, you’re the one and only one occupying my heart. Now I’ve waited for you for four years but again ended with nothing.” He fell on the sofa, “I don’t understand. It must be fate that’s playing a game or punishment on me. I don’t understand…”
Ka Ying cried, “Alex. Please don’t wait for me anymore. It’s not worth it! It’s not worth your precious love on a bad woman like me!”
Alex squirmed dreadfully on the sofa, covering his face in his hands. Tears flooded down Ka Ying’s face and she ran out the door. As she slammed the door behind her, her grief and wailing made her sick and dizzy. She leaned on the door and slided down. She uttered to herself, “I’m sorry, Alex…I’m sorry…I feel guilty and I can’t face you. I am desperate to come back to you…I did try…but I just can’t forgive myself…I can’t…”