Always by your side
by Suki Chan
Chapter 17
“…hm.” Danny faltered.
Olivia rolled her eyes, “Oh Danny. You haven’t had dinner yet. Are you hungry? I’m sure you’re always on fixed meal time arranged by your brother.”
“Yeah. Matty cooks every day. Always dinner at 7:30.” Danny said. Matt always kept him a proper diet for his good health.
“Let’s go get some noodles take-out. You can bring it back home to eat your dinner.” Olivia suggested and pointed at a small noodle restaurant across the street.
Danny nodded.
They went to buy the noodles together. Olivia ordered, “…1 beef noodle…comes with a drink? Danny you want a pop? How about…”
With all the interruptions, Danny lost his courage to confess to Olivia.
They arrived at Danny’s place.
“You can walk up the dark stairs by yourself, Danny?” Olivia asked.
“Danny’s a big boy. Not scared.” Danny said bravely, in front of Olivia.
“Wonder what time your brother will be back. Hope you don’t have to be home alone for too long….” Olivia said.
Just as this time, they saw Matt coming towards them. He looked surprised.
“Matty!” Danny waved happily.
“…hi Olivia.” Matt squeezed out a casual smile, “Thought you two would be out for dinner for a while.”
Olivia kept a dark face at him.
Matt found a topic, “Where’s your car?”
“I didn’t drive today. Hard to find parking near the cinema. I took a taxi to go pick up Danny and hopped on it to the cinema.” Olivia answered dully, “But you didn’t even show up.”
“…I was busy at work.” Matt looked away, “You’re catching taxi home, right? I’ll wait with you. Danny, go home first and…you’ve got dinner take-out? Alright finish it and take your shower. Your pjs are in the washer so take another set from the closet, huh?”
Danny meekly listened, “Goodnight Olive.”
“Goodnight Danny.”
Danny went into the stairway.
Matt and Olivia stood on the sidewalk. Both were speechless.
“Why didn’t you come?” Olivia asked abruptly.
“I’ve said I was at work.” Matt explained.
Olivia looked down at his hand.
Matt softly flashed, “What. Just batteries. My alarm clock battery died and we’re running out. So I just came down to buy a pack.”
“You got off work a long time ago. You didn’t stay behind like you said.” Olivia raised her voice and pointed at his sandals, “You managed to get home, do the laundry, find out battery’s dead and came down to shop for some.”
Matt did not answer.
“You purposely didn’t come to the movie.” Olivia was angry.
“Of course not. Why would I do that?” Matt avoided eye contact with her.
“Matt, what’s up with you?” Olivia moved closer to him, “It’s been like this recently. I come look for you a couple times at the supermarket but every time your co-worker said you’re busy or out or something. You WEREN’T. I knew it.”
Matt kept looking away.
“Why are you staying away from me?” Olivia asked sadly.
“I’m not. I’m not staying away from you.” Matt said calmly, “Why would I? We’re friends.”
“Are we just friends? You only treat me as a friend?!” Olivia spun his head to face her, “Nothing else? Look at me and tell me!”
“Sure we’re just friends.” Matt struggled and shifted his body away, “Since the beginning, and into the future. We’re friends, and no more.. Nothing else happens between us.”
Olivia dreadfully let go of him, “Is it because of Danny?”
Matt finally turned around at her, “…Danny…he’s said it out to you?”
Olivia deeply sighed, “I feel it. I could feel it, since a long time ago. Girls are very sensitive on these things…I know why he’s done so much for me. I know.”
Matt softly sighed.
“How about you?” Olivia looked into his eyes.
“We are friends. We are always friends.” Matt gave the dreadful answer.
Tears flooded out from Olivia’s eyes, “Matthew Tong, why are you doing this to me on my birthday?” She abruptly turned around and ran away.
*****************************
Matt stared at the ceiling in the dark but could not go to sleep.
“…Matty.” Danny softly called from his bed beneath.
“Hm?”
Danny was sleepless also, “Why haven’t seen Olive for a while? Is she busy or something?”
Matt knew the answer; Olivia was purposely hiding from them.
“I miss Olive.” Danny said, “Matty misses Olive too?”
Yes I do I do, Matt said in his head.
“I wanna talk to Olive. I wanna show her the puppet I made at workshop.” Danny bit his lips.
“…Olive…must be busy at school. She’s having some tests.” Matt made up a reason, only to comfort Danny, “Will call her later on when she’s not that busy, ok?”
“Oh.” Danny believed in Matt, as always. He did not ask further and steadily fell asleep.
Matt wanted to slap himself for lying to Danny, his beloved brother.
****************************
Olivia pointlessly wandered on the street. It was Sunday and the street was packed with people. She did some window-shopping but did not feel like buying anything. She got annoyed by the crowd and the noise around her. She was in very down mood.
She went into a small bakery and decided to calm herself down with a hot drink and some desserts. She browsed the counter and her eyes glowed at the colourful cakes.
A girl at the counter served Olivia some samples, “Would you like to try some of our new white chocolate mousse cake?”
Olivia took a piece and nibbled, “Wow.” A smile finally lit up on her face as the sweetness hit her taste bud. What a simple little girl.
“How do you like it?” The girl smiled.
“Love it.” Olivia said. Then she intuitively thought, Danny would love it too; he’s a big fan of cakes.
The boy will definitely jump and excitingly grab her arm when he sees this cake. Olivia had not seen Danny for a while. She missed his giggles.
Maybe she should go visit.
“Please give me 3 pieces…” Olivia abruptly said, then she changed her mind…Matt made her so angry and did not deserve the cake, “Sorry just 2 pieces.”
The girl put 2 into a box.
Thinking of Matt, Olivia’s heart softened up, “…sorry please give me 3 pieces instead.”
The girl wondered, “Oh…sure.”
Olivia hated herself, but she cannot control the feeling in her heart.
****************************
Danny dully stacked up with building blocks. He was bored.
“So that funny show on TV isn’t good today?” Matt was ironing while peeking over to Danny, “Haven’t heard you laughing like you always do.”
“Matty.” Danny wondered, “Is Olive done with big tests? Can we call?”
Matt abruptly refused, “No.”
“Why?”
“…’cause…she might still be busy with studying. Don’t bug her.” Matt lied again.
Danny curled his lips but meekly listened to his brother. He went back to his toys.
Matt continued with his housework. The two did not chat further. The house was quiet.
“…move over a little. Got to clean here…” Matt was done with ironing, then he carried a mop and bucket and started rubbing the floor. He just had to keep himself busy and occupied…busy enough to kick away all wild thoughts in his head.
Buzz~ Buzz~
The door bell rang. The two brothers curiously lifted their heads and looked; they seldom had visitors.
Matt went to open the door. He was very surprised.
“Olive! Olive!” Danny excitingly ran and jumped over.
“Hi Danny.” Olivia lit up a little smile.
“…hey.” Matt looked at her.
She had glance at him as her smile faded. She looked away and turned back to Danny.
“Olive’s busy…long time not coming.” Danny held her arms and dragged her into the living room.
“So how’s Danny doing?” Olivia patted his arm.
Danny was very happy to see Olivia. He grabbed her to sit down.
“Danny, look what I’ve got for you?” Olivia sat on the sofa and put the small box on her lap. Danny reached over and helped her to open it.
“Cake!” Danny cheered.
“It’s white chocolate mousse cake!” Olivia pointed.
“Matty come look! Nice cake!” Seeing this favourite, Danny instantly wanted to share with his brother.
Matt peeked over, “Wow looks good. Danny must love it!”
“One piece. Two pieces. Three pieces.” Danny counted, “We have…one…two…three of us here. So one each!”
Olivia peeped at Matt.
“Danny did you say Thank You to Olive?” Matt was still standing there with his mop, “I ain’t such a big fan of cake. Why don’t you two share the 3 pieces?”
“No…Matty have one too!” Danny was disappointed.
“Maybe your brother thinks I’ll poison him with the cake.” Olivia was upset, “Forget it Danny. You and I can finish it all.”
Matt dropped down his head and continued rubbing the tiled floor.
After eating the cakes, Danny took out the puppet he made at the workshop and showed Olivia. She praised him for the good job and played with him for a while.
Matt did not join them. He walked around their little living place, fixing this and cleaning that. Olivia knew he did it in purpose.
“It’s getting late. Danny, let go of Olive. It’s almost time for you have to go to bed too.” Matt said.
“Your brother wanted me be out of the house. Alright.” Olivia stood up and grabbed her purse.
Danny was worried by Matt’s words and Olivia’s expression on her face.
“…just kidding.” Olivia squeezed out a smile to comfort Danny, “It’s sure getting late. I still have class tomorrow morning.”
“Oh.” Danny did not want Olivia to go, but he understood, “Olive will come again soon?”
“Sure.” Olivia patted his head, “Goodnight.”
“Driving home?” Matt asked.
“Taxi.” Olivia said dully.
“It’s late at night. Let me walk you down and wait for the taxi with you.” Matt offered.
“I’m fine. Don’t worry.” Olivia threw temper at him.
Matt shook his head and tailgated. It was for her personal safety.
They stood on the street quietly. The weather was muggy and humid; looked like it might rain at any time.
“Thanks for coming. Danny’s really happy to see you.” Matt whispered.
“You don’t look happy to see me though.” Olivia sneered.
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?” Olivia glared at him.
Matt did not answer.
“I’m dump. I’m too weak to fight over this.” Olivia looked up to the sky and puffed out, “I keep telling myself to ignore you. I keep telling myself it’s not worth it. But…I can’t control my own feeling. I can’t.”
Matt did not say a word.
“Why…you’re always in my mind….I can’t get rid of you. I want to stop thinking of you but I can’t. I’m desperate to come see you.” A tear rolled down Olivia’s cheek, “To think of someone who doesn’t like you. To care about someone who doesn’t care about you. I’m dump…”
“No Olivia! Don’t say that…please…” Matt painfully shook his head.
“Matt, I just want one confirmation from you. If you really don’t like me; if you really don’t have feeling to me…just tell me.” Olivia sadly looked at him, “Then…I will go. I won’t come see you ever ever again.”
The pain stabbed Matt’s heart. His lips moved, but he could not speak it out. His eyes turned red.
“Tell me what you’re thinking! Tell me the truth from your heart! Please…I beg you Matt!” Olivia sobbed, “This is torturing…”
“No…Olivia…no…” Matt was heartbroken to see her tears. He could not lie to himself anymore, “I like you! I like you Olivia!”
Olivia’s tears flooded out. Her fingertip reached over to Matt’s face.
Matt grasped her hand and pecked her little fingers, one by one, softly and tenderly. Suddenly he paused and looked at Olivia, then he abruptly shifted his body away.
Olivia was shocked, “Why…”
“I can’t do this. I can’t…” Matt shook his head.
“Why…” Olivia held his hand, “Is it because of Danny?”
Matt sighed, “Danny really likes you.”
“Danny is a very good boy. He’s so gentle and caring. We get along really well.” Olivia uttered, “But he can only be a close friend, a buddy, and even a brother. Nothing can happen between us! I don’t have that feeling to him! To me, he’s just a kid!”
“I know. I totally understand. With his conditions it’s very difficult for him to find a girl.” Matt dropped down his head, “Nothing can happen between you and him. I know.”
Olivia was confused, “You understand. I only have feelings to you. I only want to stay with you. But then why do you still turn me down?”
Matt stopped her, “Yes he can’t be with you. But I can’t be the one taking you away from him!”
Olivia was stunned, “Matt…”
Matt painfully held his head, “He depends on me. He trusts me. He listens to me. I’m the only one in the world he can rely upon! He likes you! I know he likes you! How can I cheat on him and take you away behind his back! He’ll get hurt so badly! No…he’s suffered too much already! I swore to myself that I won’t let Danny get hurt ever again!”
“You only worry Danny will get hurt! How about me? How about yourself?” Olivia agitatedly grabbed his shoulder, “You and I have feelings to each other! We should be together! If we leave our relationship dangling, all three of us will suffer! It’s hard on Danny but he has to take it!”
“I can’t hurt Danny. I can’t…” Matt cried. It was the toughest decision to make in his life.
“Matt, I don’t know what exactly happened in your childhood. I don’t know how much Danny has suffered, but I can feel it. Must be really bad huh?” Olivia cupped Matt’s face, “You want to protect Danny. You want to take care of him. But Matt, you’ve done enough for him. Please…just for one time in your life…do something for yourself…”
Matt moaned.
“If you think that’s selfish, then be selfish once. For yourself, and for me…” Olivia begged, “Please Matt!”
Matt could not resist anymore. He cupped her face and kissed deeply on her lips.
A few drops of rain fell on their faces, and steadily turned heavy. Soon the two became soggy, but they did not care. They were desperate; they were craving to hold tight to each other.
Their lips softly parted. Matt and Olivia sweetly gazed at each other and tittered.
Suddenly they felt a pair of eyes glaring at them.