| Fan Fiction |
by Suki Chan
Sabrina stared at the coming car and frozed.
Squeak….
The driver abruptly slammed on the brake. The car stopped right in front of Sabrina. She fell on the ground.
“Sabrina are you ok?” Wallace freaked out and hopped towards her.
She bewildered.
“Gosh, it wasn’t my fault! She ran out for no reason!” The driver checked on Sabrina while complaining.
“Sabrina, are you ok? Did you get hurt?” Wallace nervously touched her here and there.
“Hey Miss, you’d better go to have a check up at the hospital now!” The driver frowned, “Don’t come back later and say you got hurt…suing me or something.”
She did not response. She must be too scared.
“Check up is good. Make sure you’re doing fine.” Wallace supported her up, “Come on, let’s go.”
The driver opened the door, “Get on my car…”
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Sabrina went to the emergency. She did not get hit by the car. She was just too scared and scratched her arms and knee when she dropped on the ground. The nurse put some bandages on her and said she could go home and rest.
She was like a puppet being shovelled around.
“Thank God.” Wallace puffed out and patted her head. He was still worried though because Sabrina had not said a word since the moment of the accident, “You sure need a good rest now. Don’t worry. Have a good sleep and you’ll be fine soon.”
Wallace accompanied her back to the convent. He told Sister Rosanna about what happened. Seeing Sabrina’s pale and blank face, Sister Rosanna kindly let Wallace stay behind to take care of her.
The doctor at the emergency gave Sabrina a prescription of a few sleeping pills to help her to calm down after the accident. She took one and slowly fell in sound sleep. She looked exhausted.
Wallace quietly watched over her. Sister Rosanna looked at Sabrina and shook her head. Poor girl.
Wallace gestured to Sister Rosanna. They softly walked out the room and closed the door.
Sister Rosanna sighed, “She needs a good rest.”
“Sister, do you know much about Sabrina?” Wallace recalled the odd behaviour of Sabrina over the past few days: how she suddenly decided to hide from him; she obviously had a feeling towards him but kept staying away, and after hearing his charming words, she lost control.
“Hm, not much.” Sister Rosanna said, “I remember many years ago, Sister Maria, at that time the vice-principal of the orphanage, came to visit us often. She usually brought along some children from her orphanage and little Sabrina was in the group most of the time. The first time she came here, she was around 7 or 8 years old. I recall that, because my impression on this girl wasn’t too good. She wanted to catch attention, and she always went in front of the line for everything. Sister Maria was a very good leader and had been working at the orphanage for many years. The children she taught were polite and obedient. But Sabrina seemed to be an exception, even though Sister Maria had been extra caring to her. We could all see that.”
Wallace listened closely.
Sister Rosanna continued, “I noticed that and had a talk with Sister Maria. She said Sabrina was being abandoned by the parents and left at the door of the orphanage when she was 2 month old. The nuns at the orphanage found this pitiful baby, and brought her to the hospital for check up. It was a harsh winter, and didn’t know how long she had been sitting in the outside. But she was amazingly in good condition. Doctor estimated that her age, and from that the nuns gave her a birthday, and a name…with a surname following Sister Audrey Yeung…the principal of the orphanage at that time.”
Wallace could not imagine such dramatic and sad story could happen in real life, especially to someone he knew, and cared.
“Sabrina is an orphan…an absolute orphan who doesn’t even know who her parents are. Maybe deep inside her mind, she has very low self-esteem. She feels inferior and unsecured. So, reflectively, she acts arrogant and aggressive to fight for what she wants, as a way to shield and protect herself. This could be dangerous. Sister Maria had been extra loving and caring to Sabrina, hoping to give her proper guidance throughout her growth. Sister Maria was afraid, and could foresee that if Sabrina encounters some bad influences and misdirect her, she will end up in the wrong path.”
“A few months ago, when Sabrina came to the convent, she told you about what had happened?” Wallace wondered.
“No. She didn’t say a word. Just like how Sister Maria described her when she was little, she keeps everything in her heart. She doesn’t want other people to know her true thoughts and feelings. However, I could see it from her eyes. She was lost. She was deeply hurt. I felt that Sister Maria’s prediction unfortunately came true.” Sister Rosanna concluded, “I decided to let her stay. I hope that she can find some peace to her heart here at the convent.”
Wallace sighed.
Sister Rosanna said graciously, “You may stay here with Sabrina for a while, young man. But you must leave before dark. Hope you understand our rules.”
“Thank you, Sister.” Wallace nodded.
Sister Rosanna walked away.
Wallace once again went into Sabrina’s room. He sat beside her bed and looked at her closely. “What’s really in your heart, Sabrina? How much have you been keeping inside of you? How can I help you?” He whispered in his mind.
He stood up and went to the windows. The weather was getting cold. He softly shut the windows and put down the curtains, making the room warm and comfortable for Sabrina to take a good sleep. His eyes moved casually to the desk sitting in front of the windows, and some bags and boxes underneath it. He guessed those must be luggage of Sabrina. Suddenly, he spotted a small, colourful box. He recognized it, because of its bright colours and full of cartoon stickers. He had seen it somewhere before…yes…in Sabrina’s hotel room in Boston. A strong curiosity rose in Wallace’s mind. He took it out and put on the desk.
Sabrina was sleeping deeply.
Wallace opened the box. Inside it were about 10 books of diaries. They were all different style, and must be a collection for many years. Some looked fairly new, and some were more aged. However, there was one common thing about the diaries; the covers were either Cinderella, Snow White, or Sleeping Beauty etc. Their owners must be fantasy of Disney princesses.
Needless to say, these were diaries of Sabrina, diaries since she was little.
Wallace was very tempted to open up the diaries. He was desperate to learn more about Sabrina. She seemed to have kept a lot of secrets in her heart and cannot be relieved. The answers might all be in her diaries. But no, diaries were the most private and precious. Wallace felt guilty. He peeked at Sabrina and heard her heavy breaths.
He cared about her. He wanted to help her.
He sighed deeply.
Seeing that the sky was turning dark and he should not stay inside her room for longer, Wallace took the box and softly walked out to the yard of the convent. He sat down on a bench under a lamp post. He flipped through and found one book that looked the most aged. His fingers shifted, hesitated, but finally turned over to the first page of the diary.
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* Begin of Flashback *
Sabrina, 7 years old
After dinner, the children gathered at the yard of the orphanage around Sister Maria. Almost every night around this time, they would have this little time together. They often chatted and shared what they had done during the day. Sometimes, Sister Maria would tell short Bible stories, fairy tales, or sing some hymns and lullaby.
Little Sabrina sat on the lap of Sister Maria. She always got this privilege and felt proud; she was different from the other kids.
“So my children, have anyone of you done some writings on the diaries I gave out a while ago?” Sister Maria smiled and asked.
“I do! I do!” A few little hands showed.
“Me too.” Sabrina hung her arms around Sister Maria’s neck.
“Hm, I notice that Sabrina. I see you’ve been writing quite a bit. Good for you.” Sister Maria said.
“And if I don’t know the words, I draw some pictures to show.” Little Sabrina said meekly, “Sister Maria, do you wanna read them?”
Sister Maria patted her head, “No, Sabrina. Diary is very private. It’s for your own. You put down anything you want…your thoughts and feelings. When you grow up, it gives you something memorable. Huh?”
“Oh.” Little Sabrina tilted her head and seemed to understand a bit.
“Sister.” A girl asked, “Today at school, my teacher talked about family trees. What are family trees?”
These children stayed in the orphanage, but still went to public school like other ordinary children. And of course, family relationships were a common topic at class. Sister Maria was experienced and tried to teach these orphans properly, “A family tree draws out every person inside the family. It’s you in the middle, and branches out to your sisters, brothers, parents, grandparents etc.”
The children heaved. Parents: a remote term to them.
“Every person in this world was born from their parents. My dear, even though you all stay here at the orphanage, you all have parents. Your mom and dad love you. Every mom and dad loves their children, no matter where they are.” Sister Maria showed a kind grin.
“My mom and dad died in a car accident. They’re in Heaven now. But they still love me.” A little girl Toby said. She came to the orphanage not long ago. She was the same age as Sabrina.
“Yes Toby, of course they love you.” Sister Maria looked with mercy at this 7-year old who just lost her parents.
“My dad is in jail, and my mom has mental illness and can’t take care of me. But they still love me, right?” Another girl asked.
“Yes Betty. They love you.” Sister Maria gave the best answer she could to soothe the young heart.
“Sister Maria, what about my mom and dad?” Little Sabrina wondered, “They dumped me at the door of the orphanage. They don’t want me. Do they still love me?”
Sister Maria looked into the eyes of this poor girl and stroked her face, “There must be some special reasons that they can’t take of you anymore. They decided to leave you here, because they know us at the orphanage can help to take care of you. They…still love you, Sabrina.”
Sabrina bit her lips and did not say a word further. She seemed to know the true answer.
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Sabrina, 9 years old
“Line up! Line up! No rush…everyone will get some!” Sister Annie and a volunteer were giving out candies while the excited children budged to grab them.
Little Sabrina squeezed in front of the line and took a hand full.
“Whew.” The volunteer puffed out. Her large plastic bag was empty. The children laughed and disbursed to enjoy their sweets.
“Woo…woo…” A little girl wept.
“What’s wrong, Kiki?” Sister Maria walked by and asked caringly.
“No more candies…woo woo…” The girl was too young to ‘fight’ with the other bigger kids and did not get any of the candies.
“’Kiki didn’t get any, ‘cause Sabrina took lots. Look she’s greedy.” Another girl pointed.
Little Sabrina heard it and glared back. She hated when someone badmouthed on her.
Sister Maria shook her head; this was not the first time she heard of this complain. She walked towards Sabrina.
Little Sabrina quickly put her hands at the back and hid the candies.
“Hm, Sabrina.” Sister Maria stroked her head, “Kiki didn’t get any candies. She’s little and you’re like an elder sister. Would you mind to share some of yours with her?”
“No, the candies are mine!” Little Sabrina frowned.
Sister Maria sighed, “Sabrina, we always talk about sharing, remember? Sharing your happiness with others…”
“They’re mine! I ain’t giving them to anyone!” Little Sabrina ran away.
Little Sabrina went back to her room which she shared with 7 other girls. She scrabbled up her bed and took out a little box beside her pillow. She put her candies inside and smiled happily. She touched her little collections of candies, stationery and stickers etc. She treasured them, because they made her feel concrete and secured. These bitsy collections were all she had in her life.