Fan Fiction

Tainted By You - DBSK YAOI - NC-17 [COMPLETED]

by Cool_1312 and aronist_ed

Chapter 11

How do we go on from here?

Chapter 11 - How do we go on from here?
Written By: enchanted1312
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The ache was piercing his already pained-heart.

It was raining as droplets of water washed down his lean body as his bangs hid his teary eyes. Oh yes, Shim Changmin was definitely crying, how could he not? Being rejected by the only man that he ever loved and will love, the pain was slowly gnawing the insides of his heart. And even when he started to shiver, his lips turned into a small smile. The rain could hide the tears, he thought as he sat back on the swing dejectedly. He could pretend, just for a moment, that the salty liquids coming out of his tears ducts weren’t tears but droplets of rain.

It hurts, of course it fucking hurts. When he first decided to confess his re-surfaced feelings, he had readied himself for the rejection, braced himself should his love story might halt mid-way. But he didn’t expect it to be his painful.

He thought that it wouldn’t hurt to see the other man taking the steps, further away from him. After all, Keita had done it far too many times. But it was bullocks. It was a whole lot more painful (technically speaking) than being shot in the stomach by a gun. Where did he go wrong? Was his love not enough for the other man?

[When you’re gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you…]

Changmin was startled by the sudden poly ring tone of his phone. He hesitated for a moment, not wanting to pick it up when he was feeling vulnerable but then foolishly realized that this was the only phone that he used to communicate with other officials when encountered with an emergency. He scrambled quickly as he dug into his pocket. With much difficulty, he reached out for his phone at the back of his jeans, flipping it open.

“Shim speaking.” Changmin replied; trying to shout over the din the rain was making while he stood up and began jogging slowly towards his car, parked at the side of the pavement.

“Where are you?” The voice on the line shouted back and Changmin frowned, hearing the hint of panic visible in the tone.

“What’s wrong?”

Changmin listened for a few minutes, his heart thundering faster with every word the man on the other line was saying. His left hand balled into a fist as he realized the irony of sacrificing his post as the main leader of his team just for a gateway to a romantic confession that left him worse than before.

He flipped the phone closed, entering his car as the engine roared into life.

Yoochun was ambushed on his way to your place, where the heck are you?
_______________________________________________________________________________

The hallway that usually would have been silent for most part of the day had been filled with authorities and the local police unit. Just as soon as Changmin walked past through the endless doors to get to the northern part of the international hospital, he could spot some of the familiar faces. He looked at his own special team, spotting Hankyung, his assistant, almost immediately.

“Hankyung.” Changmin motioned for the other man to come closer to him. “I want the local police to take care of this; urge them to find out what cause this shooting and get the bastards who did this. Meanwhile, our members should continue their observation before the failed mission; we need to gather as much information as possible so that we could penetrate Hazeid when we need to. Keep the press out of this, from here onwards; this incident is a confidential case.” Changmin muttered in a low voice and his assistant only nodded his head in affirmation.

A few minutes later, the hallway that was once filled with humans was almost empty once again. With that, he turned to face Kim Jaejoong who had been silent since the moment he arrived.

“How did you get here so fast when you are miles away?” Changmin whispered, breaking the silent that was building up. “And why the hell is Yoochun driving alone in a deserted South Korea district with no armed men when he shouldn’t even be here for another two more days? Shouldn’t he be busy spying on you or something?”

“You doubt me.” Jaejoong stated as his fingers played with the ends of his blue shirt, not bothering to look up to see his comrade.

“Yea well, seeing the things that you have been doing so far, it’s hard not to.”

“Then I have nothing to else to say.”

Changmin wanted to shout, to yell so that the other man could spat anything, anything to clear this hazy mess away. Why was this getting so blurry? “You need to tell me everything. Anything.”

Jaejoong sighed. “It’s not Hazeid.”

“Why not?”

“Because of their big egos and pride. Hazied is a well-established organization brought to power not by violence but rather a strategically planned method to get to the top without getting messy and bloody and I’m afraid, they wouldn’t be using a method as low as this just to get to us. They still have their own principles to keep whether you believe it or not. And I think if they do this, it would only hurt their reputation as a clean gang.” Jaejoong explained.

Changmin snorted. “There’s nothing clean about them.”

“Says you.”

“Says me.” Changmin agreed.

“It didn’t take long for Yoochun to get the information that he wanted from me. From what I know, he registered to a nearby hotel where Yunho’s underground group is and a few hours later, he abruptly left the hotel and take a flight back here.” Jaejoong spoke, scrunching his eyebrows.

“Why is he driving to somewhere dangerous then? Of all the places, a dump?” Changmin frowned. Something wasn’t right here, he thought, there was more to this than Yoochun being shot.

“I got the call from the hospital saying that Yoochun was injured and they were forced to contact me when they couldn’t reach you. I called the local police to get through you and fly here myself.” Jaejoong shrugged his shoulders.

“Fuck.” Changmin whispered as he took a step back, his shoulders slouching, exhausted at today’s turn of events. “There’s another group going after our asses beside Hazied.”

Then there was this absolute silence as the both of them realized what that actually meant, the complication that this case might never be solved if problems keep plaguing their way. The fear that they might be defeated by the people they are supposed to catch and how badly their reputation would be affected if they lose this fight. Yes, this was indeed getting bad.

Changmin watched as a few nurses walked passed them as he greeted them with a smile of his own. “I met with Keita just minutes ago.” The other man didn’t respond, just kept on tugging his shirt as though there was something bothering the piece of clothing. “I want him back. At that point of moment, if he’s ready to accept me, then I would-” There was this horrible silence that filled the air as Changmin took a heavy breath, trying to relish the moment where he had been lost. “I would leave my uniform behind and leave with him.”

Jaejoong’s face held nothing to express what he was feeling deep inside which made it harder for Changmin to gauge what the other man thought about the words he had just uttered. “I had a one-night stand, Yoochun knows about it but-” He looked up. “I don’t think he knows that it’d become an affair.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be spying on him?”

A short pause. “I don’t know. It just happens.”

“Should we tell Yoochun about this?”

Jaejoong’s eyes dimmed. “I reckon we should.”

And with that, the two officers walked slowly towards the designated ward, their footsteps echoed through the silent hallway, a heavy feeling setting in the air.
_______________________________________________________________________________

Yoochun looked at the two men in front of him. He was feeling weak, that he had to admit. The operation to take the two bullets out of his legs had drained away most of his remaining energy (and thoughts) away. Everything was so hazy, so blurry.

The things that they had just said didn’t shock him one bit; it was something he had known all along. It’s always tricky when emotions were involved, always messy. His throat was awfully dry as he sucked on his saliva, watching the two men shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

Park Yoochun was in a dilemma.

Shim Changmin was the type of guy who’s practical and quick in the way he did his job. Yoochun knew that, that’s why he was able to trust Changmin to take care of things in Seoul. But lately, because of Keita, Changmin’s work had taken the turn for the worse, and still Yoochun couldn’t find a better man that could replace him.

On his left, stood Kim Jaejoong who had been with him for a short period of time. But there was one thing that he was sure of the older man. He knew that the other man would do anything for the uniform he was wearing. The stubborn streak to let people know that he wasn’t the same as his brother, Junsu, was the first important reason that Jaejoong was still in his team. So how could he find a better soldier than him?

In conclusion, as Yoochun would put bluntly, he couldn’t afford to lose these two men just because of some personal puppy love (heck, it couldn’t be real, not when he himself wasn’t sure if the both of them knew the meaning to the word love) , not when there’s a third party threatening his investigation right now.

Yoochun opened the drawers beside him and took out two hand phones, putting them on the sliding table in front of him. “I need to know which side you are on, the both of you. Right from the start, I have been saying this over and over again. You have to choose. It’s either you are on my side or theirs.” Yoochun muttered softly. “And if you are on mine, break it off with them, any emotional ties that bounded the both of you with them. I need you to be ready or I have to do those arrests myself and then put the both of you in jail.” Yoochun spoke firmly. “It’s time to let go, guys.”

A few moments of silence past before the two men accepted the non-traceable hand phones.

“But-” Changmin hesitated as he turned to look at Jaejoong.

“Fret not about Kim.” Yoochun interrupted before they could leave the ward. “I knew well enough that he was the one that saved me from bleeding to death. Yes, tonight, I had owed him my life but I can’t get that in the way. In the end, I’m still a police officer while he’s just another criminal that I have to catch. I couldn’t forgo the fact that I owned my loyalty to the army force. It’s my duty and yours too. Don’t forget that.”

The two men nodded as they exited the room. Yoochun turned towards the open window, seeing the glimpse of the moon from where he was lying. Death couldn’t be any crueller than this.

And a silent tear fell.
_______________________________________________________________________________

Jung Yunho watched as the rain fell, a little less heavily than a few minutes ago. It was clearing up now and he could see the stars shining through the starry night. He tapped his fingers on the cool window glass, humming to a favourite tune of his.

His phone vibrated and with a sigh, he answered it just to meet with absolute silence from the other side. But he knew. He knew who it was on the other side. He knew the rhythmic breathing of the owner. He just knew.

“Jaejoong?” Yunho muttered, wanting to hear the other man’s voice, silently denying that he was missing the cop, someone that he should hate. “Is that you?”

“Yea.” The voice crackled and Yunho’s instinct blamed it on the rain.

“Is there something’s wrong?” Yunho asked as he stood up, walking towards his computer. “Where are you? Are you in my club right now?” He checked his security cameras but found nothing that resembled his pretty lover.

“No, I’m not.”

Yunho froze. He didn’t know why but it felt as though Jaejoong was a million miles away from him right now. Which was geographically true. “You are not in US, are you? My sources told me that you booked a flight to Seoul.” Yunho spoke. “I thought Yoochun had kicked you out of his team, what are you doing over there?”

“I need to say something important.” The voice on the line only made Yunho’s heart skipped a beat. “I have wanted to say this for quite some time but-”

“Just spit it out Jaejoong, don’t bother to beat around the bush.” Yunho interrupted and once again, silence reigned in.

“It’s a lie.” Jaejoong whispered and Yunho had to strain his ears not because he couldn’t hear but rather, he thought that he was dreaming when the other man had uttered those words.

“What’s a lie?”

“I didn’t get kicked out of the police force.” The sudden thumping of Yunho’s heart filled his own eardrums as he heard the other man’s words.

He didn’t know what he was truly feeling right now. Anger. Disappointment. Hatred. He didn’t know which one but it left a bitter feeling in his heart which he wished he could quickly wipe away. “I thought you are different.” Yunho muttered in a low voice, trying to hide the ache in his voice.

“I am, Yun. You need to know that I’m different.” Jaejoong’s voice didn’t manage to soothe the storm in Yunho’s heart, a direct opposite of what used to be. “I need to go undercover again because Yoochun needs me to. You saw me waiting for you under the rain last night, seeing how broken I looked and you immediately thought that I had just been kicked out of the force. But the truth is, Yoochun erase every possible record of me ever being in the force so that you wouldn’t suspect me. And it’s my fault. I let you think that I’m not a cop so that I could get some access to your database.” Jaejoong replied with his innocent voice that Yunho was grateful the loud thumping of the sounds made by the club could penetrate through the room.

“Why must it be me?” Yunho asked with such wonder that he could hear a small sob breaking out of Jaejoong’s lips. “I don’t want your cries, I don’t need it.” Yunho replied harshly. The bitterness that he had felt immediately turned into cold hard anger.

“Yunho, I-”

“Didn’t I say that we all need sex, Jaejoong? It’s all there is to this relationship.” Yunho’s eyes began to blur as he walked towards the window, the rain had stopped fully. “There’s no need to break your heart over this.”

“You are mad. Please Yun-”

“Mad? I’m fucking pissed!” It was as though Jaejoong had smacked him across the face, Yunho thought as he heard the other man’s reply. “You will forever be a cop. There’s nothing that could change that.” Not even me.

“It’s always been police and thief, Yunho-ah. The reason why I’m calling is because I want to apologize.”

“There’s no need to. Cops are all the same, using anything to get what they want. I should have known right from the start.” Yunho bit out, hated that this only reminded him of his horrible past, something that he was trying hard to forget.

“I’m not the same! Dammit, Yunho, I’m not like those cops who raped your mother!” Jaejoong shouted and Yunho was stunned for a while, as though Jaejoong had said something real. “DON’T EVER PUT ME ON THE SAME LEVEL AS THOSE BASTARDS! I could take it from the others for being Junsu’s brother or any insults, but not from you, please, no more insults.” Jaejoong sounded so weak that for a moment, Yunho felt guilty.

“You-” Yunho leaned his forehead against the cool glass. “You hurt me way beyond anyone could ever do. You left this horrible mark for me that I’m not sure will ever fade.” He watched his own reflection on the window pane, the tears blurring his vision. “Goodbye, Jae.” He ended the call without giving the other man a chance to reply.

And as the music continued to play, his eyes watched as the droplets of rain fell down from the rooftop.
_______________________________________________________________________________

The buttons that he pressed on the phone was hesitant as he walked into a dim empty ward. After locking the door, he sat on one of the many beds, hearing the usual tone to be connected to the owner of the phone number.

“Hmm…” The groggy voice replied and Changmin smiled because just for a moment, it reminded him of what they used to have, what they could have. And when he realized that he had just lost it, the bitter feeling came back to haunt him.

“Hey.” Changmin greeted simply and there was utter silence before he could hear rustling on the other side. “There’s no need to get up from your bed, I just need to say something.”

Keita ogrunted at the reply. “How are you feeling?”

Changmin wanted to laugh when he heard the other man’s question. Broken. Aching. Dying. Did the other man really wanted him to say that? “I’m fine.”

“Why did you call me? I heard about Yoochun-”

“It’s about us.” Changmin interrupted.

“Oh. Ok.” The shrugging that Changmin could imagine the other man doing hurt his heart like no other. Why must the other man kept hurting him this way when he did nothing wrong?

“I wanted to leave everything behind if it could only mean that I could be with you. I’m willing to do that just to have another chance at us.” Changmin ran a hair through his hair. “You said that you love me but aren’t willing to take me back.”

“Min-ah…” Keita interrupted and Changmin could only take a heavy breathe to hold back his tears. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know.” Changmin whispered. But you hurt me anyway. “I guess what’s in the past should remain there.”

“I won’t lie. I can’t lie, Min, you know that. We are never strangers, you and I, we share too much.” Keita sighed. “I just want you to be happy.”

Then come back to me, Kei-ah, Changmin whispered in his heart but knew the importance of letting go, right here, right now. “The next time I see you, I’ll be Office Shim. I promise you that.”

One.

Two.

Three.

And we all fall down.

“Alright.”

And with that, Changmin pressed the red button, hearing the sudden silence that was too alien for his liking.

So this was how it was supposed to be?

To lose everything and have nothing?
*********************************************************************
This was where the heavy part really stood. I mean, seriously, how far could a bandit and police officer go when both of them has chosen a very different path to walk on? It was hard, a little bit too angst and mushy if you thought about it but I guessed what needs to go, just have to. ^.^

Comments are loved.