Fan Fiction |
by teppanyaki
"May your next album hit record breaking sales, Jay." Liwen snapped.
Jay. She had ended the call by addressing me as Jay.
'Jay' not 'JieLun'. Jay Chou the superstar, not JieLun her Prince Charming.
I stared out of the van window. The Taipei scenery flashed past me. Cars, cars, cars. Trees, trees, trees. Buildings buildings, buildings. It was repetitive. I caught my reflection on the window. I looked distraughted. Broken. Pale. My lips were more downturned than usual.
My vision was blurred. By what? I blinked a few times. My eyelashes were slightly wet. I cleared my throat and leaned my head back on the headrest, closing my eyes, pretending to be asleep.
I didn't want any of my crew to see me tearing.
When was the last time I cried?
It must be at least ten years ago. Heartbreaks can completely shatter a whole person. I just want you to be happy, Liwen.
'Giving up for love isn't always noble.' I know. I also know you'll find a guy better than me out there. I can't promise you happiness. Its not just a idol-fan relationship, its a long distance relationship even. Meeting up is even harder. I just want you to be happy, Liwen. You deserve a better guy than me.
I rubbed my eyes.
I can't let anyone see my tears fall.
I'm Jay Chou.
+++
"What are you eating?" I peered over to Du Ge's bowl of spicy orangey-red soup. It looked familiar.
"Its called Tom Yum Kung... A chef recommendation... It was written on the menu."
I stared at my own plate of non-spicy pineapple rice. It looked bland suddenly.
"I want that. *cough* Er... not too spicy. Thanks." I pointed and told a waiter who was refilling our glasses of iced water.
My own share of Tom Yum Kung arrived not long after. Somehow that name sounded familiar. I dipped my spoon into the orangey-red liquid. It tasted familiar. Too familiar.
Tom Yam Soup.
Liwen.
It tasted similar. A little more spicy and less sour.
I had the feeling of home. The fragrance of home. Bit by bit, I recalled the day Liwen cooked for me at her house.
'Tom Yam Soup... My best dish.' She had said, 'I know you're not supposed to take spicy stuff since you still sound a little sick... but this will definitely help clear your blocked nose and flu.'
'Seems like I got myself a thoughtful girlfriend.'
'Of course.' She had smiled blissfully that day.
So had I, I thought bitterly.
Within minutes, the bowl of soup was gone. Liwen's cooking tastes much better.
I miss her.
How I wished she'll cook it for me again so I can have it everyday and not worry about having a blocked nose.
"Asia's Pop Prince Jay Chou falls in love with Thailand's famous local dish Tom Yum Kung..."
"... had been eating the same dish for every meal for 3 days even though he's banned from taking spicy food..."
+++
'Wo yao yi bu yi bu wang shang pa'
'Zai zui gao diao jian jian kan zhe wang qian fei ye'
'Xiao xiao de tian you da da de meng xiang'
'Zhong you yi tian wo you shu yu'
'Wo de tian...'
My fingers flew along the ivory keys of the grand piano as I continued the performance with Qi Li Xiang. I'm grateful even my Thai fans knew how to sing along though they might not understand Chinese. The audience was wild, screaming for my name, singing along with me. My palms were perspiring before, but seeing their support, I was relieved.
It was the MTV Asia Aid event in Thailand. A combination of MTV Asia Awards and a fun raising event hosted by MTV for the tsunami victims. MTV Favourite Artist Taiwan was safely in my hands now. 5 years in a row. (A/N: correct me if im wrong)
I had shaved off my stubble for the event. Du Ge said leaving the stubble on may give a more depressed deposition, adding on to my emotional turmoil now and dark rings under my eyes.
After that episode, I had a hollow feeling within me. Nights after that I was itching to call Liwen, or send a 'Sorry' message to her. But it was then, I realised I've lost the right to care for her. I had initiated the break up. I let my princess slip through my fingers. I had pushed her away. I'm so lost.
Are you watching the event, Liwen?
Can you come back Liwen?
I'm sorry...
Can I ever hold your hand again?
Can you call me JieLun for another time?
Can you smile for me?
+++
I locked myself in my private studio in Alfa music where I kept most of my stuff in. Everything reminds me of her. This is bad. I felt like a aimless wandering spirit floating around the room.
My favourite black cross necklace. She has one too.
I went to the mini fridge to get a drink. Our pictures I had stuck on the door of the fridge.
Pieces of confetti I had collected throughout my world tour.
'Just for memory's sake!'
The random pieces of papers sitting on the top of the piano. The tune I had played for her in LA.
The miniature pink piano musical box. I twisted the knob at the bottom of the 'piano'. Xing Qing rang into my ears.
'Bei dui bei mo mo xu xia xing yuan'
'Kan yuan fang de xing, ru guo ting de jian'
'Ta yi ding shi xian'
She had sung this before.
I had sung to her many times too.
'Ai wo bie zhou, ru guo ni shuo, ni bu ai wo'
'Bu yao ying jian ni zhen de shuo chu kou'
'Dai gei wo yi dian wen rou...'
Pinned on my little notice board where I keep my reminders for events, was the first picture I was of her. Liwen in the red shirt during my concert in Singapore.
Liwen, the lost sheep.
Liwen, the one who accepted me as normal.
Liwen, my princess.
Liwen, my lovely 'wife' who cooks awesome Tom Yam Soup for me.
Liwen, the one who brought joy to my dull and lonely days.
Liwen, the irritatingly cute girl.
Liwen, whom I've disappointed.
Liwen, whom I had hurt.
Liwen, who waited in vain for me.
Liwen, who cried for me.
Liwen, my fan.
I slumped onto a couch and buried my head on my hands.
Tears.
Jay Chou, you're useless.
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YAY YAY YAY! 2 chapters! the fic is ending soon!
-T.