| Fan Fiction |
by chinyu
Title: 5/5
The story is entirely circling around a puzzle and that's how they started so I think that is a good title.
Forewords: 8/10
I think that your forward really expresses your characters but it doesn't tell what is going to happen. You don't need to tell everything of course but you should use the forewords as an opportunity to draw people in.
Poster/Background: 10/10
Your poster and background is also very good. I also like the puzzle pieces on the background. I also like the color choice.
Plot: 17/20
I really love the plot. It a plot very creative and is very inspirational. I would probably some of your ideas if you don't mind. One thing is that it happens a little bit to quickly. Maybe next story you should make more chapters.
Creativity/Originality: 10/10
As I said it was very creative and I loved it so good job.
Flow: 4/5
It goes in the order like it’s suppose to be and it’s not confusing. There are too many simple sentences though
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 10/10
Everything in the story is great.
Characterization/Details: 7/10
I really like your characters and you had lots of detail. You should try improving the part where they fall in love. They just touch hands and make a puzzle and all the sudden they are in love??? That doesn't make sense.
Writing Style: 8/10
The writing style is pretty flowing like before but you should try to stop the simple sentences
Overall Enjoyment: 5/5
I really liked the story and I liked how the ending was. I always like happy endings best.
Subtotal: 89/100
Bonus: 3/5
I'm giving you three extra points because it's first yaoi and it gave me a very good impression. Jia You!!
Total: 92/100