| Fan Fiction |
by ~Genuie Cari~
Title: 5/5
It was a good title – didn’t give away too much of the plot, and intrigued any readers into finding out what it was about.
Poster/Background: 9/10
There is no background, but the poster is BEAUTIFUL and very nicely done.
Forewords: 7/10
“~Two people got together for love.~
~Separated by a mistake.~
~Bond by a child.~”
It is very interesting, and tells a lot about the plot. It entices the reader to read more. However, the concept of two stories that are similar but the characters having different names is a bit strange – but not enough to put anyone off reading it.
Plot: 13/15
It was very well thought out and organized. The ending was really cliché, especially with Annabelle/Heather getting betrothed to Jacob Matthew. But, despite the cliché ending, the rest was very good.
Creativity/Originality: 7/10
You were very creative! Lots of different ways to get these four to the hospital, and lots of twists in the plot. The ending was a bit cliché – everyone ended up paired up including Heather/Annabelle and Jacob Matthew as well as the two unborn babies, which was a little too much for me. It was very enjoyable to read!
Flow: 10/10
There was good flow – it wasn’t choppy or hard to follow.
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
There are a few grammar and spelling mistakes, but nothing too bad. You have a large vocabulary and use it well. There’s a type-o at chapter 8 (Heather 4) the first line says “During the whole time Ella was in the hospital, Arron unknowingly” but it should be Hebe not Ella being referred to there. Other than a few similar mistakes and a few type-os and grammar errors, the story is really good.
Characterization: 8/10
The baby understands what Ella/Hebe is saying? That is really impressive, considering that babies just born have no comprehension of language except for discerning their parents’ voices. However, if we overlook that, the characters are easy to like and unique. All of them are tragic in their own ways, but appealingly so, trying hard to make it on their own. You did a good job on forming the characters.
Writing Style: 10/10
Your writing style was great! Lots of cliff hangers to keep readers hooked~ I couldn’t wait to see what happened next! Great job with the writing style!
Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
Because there were two chapters exactly the same for each chapter just with different names, it was a bit bothersome to skip every other chapter after checking to make sure it was a duplicate of the first just with the different names. Other than that, I really enjoyed reading your story.
Bonus: 5/5
Great job with your story, I hope you continue to write many more fanfics in the future~
Total: 86/100