| Fan Fiction |
by ~Genuie Cari~
Title: 3/5
Original, but...the grammar isn't right. It's not quite catchy, and also reveals a lot of the storyline right there.
Poster/Background: 10/10
Neatly done, and the mood conveys well with the story.
Forewords: 10/10
Introduction to what your story is going to be like and clears up any misunderstandings about the fic, so good job!
Plot: 9/15
Plot is overused and cliched- sorry, there's just too many of these plots lying around, and a lot of things were extremely predictable, such as Selina/Gui Gui's son, and the doctor (their brother). However, there WERE certain things added in there that was quite interesting- Rainie/Genie and their schemes, things like that.
Creativity/Originality: 12/15
Creative because you made the story yours by coming up with...somewhat complicated relational ties- the misunderstanding between Chun and Selina/Arron and Gui Gui, Rainie and Gui Gui/Genie and Selina. I liked reading about what exactly they did, because...that's the main point of the story, and you delivered the conflict's explanation very, very well.
Flow: 10/10
Smooth, even, steady, not lost once. ^^
Spelling/Grammar/Vocabulary: 8/10
There wasn't anything that was a huge mistake, just some grammar problems (somtimes, your words like 'your' turned into a 'you'), usage of commas, and in chapter 8, you put 'Ella' instead of 'Hebe' (but I didn't take points off for that, no worries. XD)
Characterisation: 10/10
Hmmmm. Pretty good. I felt like I understood each character's personalities and could understand why they reacted the way they did at certain points of the story. Also, I liked how you exercised your ability as the author and had fun with the kids' personalities! A lof of authors don't do that, but you did, so I really enjoyed that.
Writing Style: 10/10
Creative. One word. Creative. I like your idea of separating the story into two so that readers have an option to choose from, depending on which cast they liked. At first, I thought I was going to have to read 56 chapters, but when I saw in the forewords what you did with the story, I just went...'Wow.'
Overall Enjoyment: 4/5
Despite the way the plot is cliched, I enjoyed the story a lot, and btw...I LOVE Chun/Ella, Arron/Hebe, Jiro/Selina, and Wang Zi/Gui Gui. XD Love all four of them. XD
Sub Total: 86/100
Bonus: 5/5
KEEP WRITING! ^^
Total: 91/100