Fan Fiction |
by Caryn
“What is it?” I asked, slightly afraid.
“Have you ever listened to a song that moved you so much you felt lonely and cold?” he looked at his drink.
“Yes, I have.” I replied quietly, sipping on my drink.
“I’ve been listening to a lot of these kinda songs and I’ve been thinking.”
‘Uh oh’ I thought. I don’t like the sound of that.
“You know that both of us have shared something beautiful and I’m well aware that it has ended. I know that you don’t love me anymore; I can see it in your eyes. I just feel so alone now.” Won Bin said, looking at me intently.
I shied away from his gaze, not able to withstand that passionate look. “I – ”
“No, you don’t have to say anything. I understand. I just want to let you know although I love you a lot, it’s probably time that I move on and stop dwelling on the past.”
I jerked my head up at his sentence. “Won Bin – ”
He smiled at me forlornly. “I love you Caryn. I seriously do. I love you more than anything else in the world and I’m willing to do anything just to make you happy. This sounds impossible but if you’re happy then I’m happy even if it means you finding love in another man.”
I was dumbstruck. All this while, I thought Won Bin’s love for me have faded with time as I believed with time, wounds can heal. What could have provoked the wounds to open up again? Once again, I felt that aching feeling in my heart. Why am I feeling this way? Because he said he loved me more than anything else in the world? Because he said he’s willing to do anything to make me happy?
“I’m sorry, Won Bin. I really am.” I looked at him, tears threatening to fall.
“Don’t be. It’s fate. If fate has set you up with another man, then there is nothing I can do. I believe in fate and one day, maybe I’ll find love in another woman. Hopefully by that time, you won’t be jealous.” Won Bin smiled.
I laughed quietly. “Thank you for everything. Thank you for showing me that unconditional love exists and thank you for showing me everything that is nice and wonderful. I will keep those happy memories deep in my heart.” I returned his smile.
“Cheers to our newly forged friendship.” He raised his glass.
“Cheers!” I said, relieved for the first time in few months.
Won Bin sent us back home and waved happily at me as if finally waking up from a beautiful yet painful dream. It’s better that way for both of us. Yet, I am not sure if it’s time to reveal my current relationship with Alex. Without much thought, I went into my room and closed the door behind me. Cherian did likewise and the whole house was engulfed in silence. I put a cd into my player and soft music filled my room. I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling and pondered over what just happened. Not able to sleep, I called Alex.
“Hey.” I said.
“Hey there, sweetie. What’s up?” Alex said.
“Nothing. I just couldn’t sleep. Were you sleeping?” I asked.
“No, I couldn’t sleep either. I was thinking of you.” He replied.
“I miss you.” I said, suddenly aware of how much I missed him.
“I miss you too.” he said softly.
“Where are you?” I asked.
“I’m at home, why?”
“Stay there, I’m coming over.” Without waiting for his reply, I hung up.
I grabbed my coat and stepped out of the house quietly, not wanting to wake Cherian up. I drove my car over to Alex’s house, stopping in front of it. I smiled to myself as I remembered one time I fainted in front of his house in the snow. I rang his doorbell and smiled at Alex’s shocked face. Without saying anything, I hugged him.
“Whoa, what’s with the hug?” he asked as he pulled me into an embrace.
“I just realised how much I missed you, that’s all.” I smiled at him, not wanting to let go. I was afraid that if I do, fate would separate us again.
“We just met yesterday.” Alex said.
“I know, but it felt like eternity.” I replied.
“Now, that’s something I don’t get everyday. I didn’t know you were so emotional.” Alex smiled and closed the door.
“Yeah, I didn’t know that either.” I walked to the piano and touched it, memories flooding back.
I remembered how Alex played a piece for me that was both melancholic and familiar. I wondered if that piece was our song, a song that we both shared during the past. Alex wrapped his arms around my waist and woke me up from my reverie.
“Are you thinking about the song I played for you at Eve’s?” he whispered into my ear.
“Yes, I am. How did you know?”
“You were looking at my piano with a kind of look that made me think you were thinking about our past encounters or something. So I just took a wild guess.” Alex explained.
I smiled. So this is what it felt like to really be in the arms of a loved one and what it felt like to love unconditionally. This is what it felt like to have someone understand you so much it seemed as if he’s reading your mind.
“I loved the piece you played to me that night.” Alex turned me around and looked at me.
“And I love you.” He kissed me and I cried tears of happiness because I’ve finally found the person I’ve been looking for my whole life.
He looked at me and caressed my face. The feeling of the soft mattress beneath me was pulling me deeper and deeper into sleep and I remembered the last thing I said was “I love you. Don’t leave me.” as I held his hand tightly.