| Fan Fiction |
by Pseudonym
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Chapter 10
Mariam
“Park Jong Hun was found severely beaten in the back of club he owns two days ago—“ I cut the small portable TV off once the important news was gone. I hated hearing about gang-related stories because they bothered me. A mother didn’t like knowing that the crime rate was growing in a place where she was raising her children.
I was in the kitchen of Dae’s house while was out working. She seemed to really value her job at LN Entertainment because she’d leave as early as five and come back at ten on most days even when she didn’t want to, but she told me her drive was what kept her going. I hated having to stay with her and cause trouble and even insisted on helping her pay rent but she adamantly refused. Not being able to work wasn’t all that great either. Upon doctor’s orders—along with Seung’s and Dae’s—they’d pleaded with me to take at least two weeks off. After I’d stubbornly rejected that offer they said an hour would be much better. The fact that Seung’s father owned the branch of the bank where I worked helped and I felt guilty for that. Had I not known Seung, would I have lost my job? I busied myself wiping away at some washed dishes, trying hard to assemble my restless thoughts. Ever since I’d left the hospital five days ago my mind had been a wanderer. I couldn’t get Jaejoong off of my mind no matter what I tried to do.
“Umma! Umma! Ummaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!” Jin yodeled, putting a cessation to my train of thoughts.
Closing my eyes, I prayed for strength and guidance. Jin was such a handful that a person needed prayer and miracles to deal with him sometimes. Most times, actually.
Pasting a smile on my face and turned to my son.
“Yes, dear?”
“That man is outside.”
A part of me really hoped he wasn’t talking about Seung because I didn’t want to face him after what had happened last night. He’d insisted on taking Hye and Seung Christmas shopping and when we’d returned he’d tried to give me a kiss, which I’d evaded. He just simply would not get the hint and I was losing my wits end. Hye was slowly warming up to him but still very indifferent.
“Who?” I asked Jin, looking through the foyer to keep an eye on Hye who was playing with newly bought toys on the living room floor.
“The one who looks like a woman.”
Jin’s words made me look at him awkwardly, “Jin did I drop you when you were born?”
Jin shrugged his small shoulders. The urge to smile was difficult to suppress.
“He told me not to tell you that he’s here.” Jin further said.
Something about his words made an unsettling feeling trickle down my spine.
“Jin, what are you talking about?”
“The man who came that looks like a woman is sitting on the stairs!” he sang out, doing an impatient dance as he spoke the way he always did when I didn’t understand what he was saying quick enough.
My eyes suddenly narrowed to slits, “How do you know someone is out?”
“I saw him through the window and went outside to say hello.”
I caught the glass before it slipped from my shocked fingers, “Lee Sang Francis Jin did you go out in this weather bearfoot in your pajamas?!”
He blinked at me blankly before responding, “Yes.”
My mouth fell open but no words came out. Sometimes I wanted to give my kids a good spanking but in this day and age that was viewed as perilous. Which was ridiculous. Back in my day spankings were the means of discipline and Jin definitely needed some.
How had I not even heard him go out? He must’ve sneaked out when I was taking a bathroom break and also trying to wash out a stinging lash from my eye.
“Do you want me to spank you?” I asked irately.
“Of course not Umma. What kind of question is that?”
“Oh goodness. You’re just like your father.” I murmured to myself as I shook my head and perched the glass on the dish rack. Wanting to check if it was snowing to know if my delusional son had gone out in such weather, I swept the curtain aside only to stop short when I saw a figure from the corner of my eyes. I felt like I’d been jolted with an electric rod when I spotted the Kim Jae Joong seated on Dae’s porch. So my son really wasn’t as deluded as I thought. My neck elongated as I sought a better view of him. This crazy guy was seated out in the winter weather in a massive winter coat, his elbows propped on his knees and his head low.
“What the hell…” I murmured confusedly to myself.
“Umma you said a bad word. The ‘h’ word is bad.” Jin’s voice incised my thoughts, making me jump as though I’d been caught by my mother reading an illicit Playboy magazine.
“Jin, dear, I want you to go to your room and change out of those clothes please.” I ordered, needing a reason to distract him from Jaejoong.
“I don’t feel like changing.” He told me in a matter-of-fact tone. I dismally thought I’d need more of the painkillers my doctor gave me to deal with Jin rather than to deal with my fever.
“Don’t make me count to ten.”
When all he did was stare at me I heaved out a sigh, folding my arms while placing all my weight on one foot.
“One…”
He didn’t move.
“Two…Three—”
“Umma you count slow.”
“Jin! Go! Now!”
My demands had Jin scuttling down the hallway. Sighing warily I brushed lofty strands that had loosened from my ponytail and helplessly looked over my shoulder before fully turning to see Jaejoong seated out there. I wasn’t prepared to see him this soon—much less ever again. When I’d thought in retrospect back to the hospital I felt a little bit bad for how harsh I was with him then remembered how he hadn’t spared my emotions when breaking up with me. I just wished he’d go away though. Jaejoong was so unpredictable I hadn’t known what he was going to do. There were times he backed off when failure struck him, but there were times he soldiered on no matter what the obstacle.
So him coming here left me wondering if he’d opted for the later this go around. If he was going to keep his word and keep trying then I had no choice but to keep running. I was not going to get hurt again.
Never.
Wresting myself from the window I went to Hye.
“Hey honey why don’t you do Umma a favor and go help your brother dress and get yourself dressed too?” I asked, hunkering down before her and brushing loose hairs from her forehead. The look of concentration and curiosity on her face was so sweet and endearing. It reminded me of those times when Jaejoong would get weird and just stare into space and even if you called him on it he’d still stare blankly. He was something else. And why was I entertaining thoughts of him again?
“I’m hungry.” She said softly even though I’d just given them breakfast not too long ago. She was just saying this because she knew we had candy that Seung had purchased for them stored away.
With my hand over her head, I pecked her forehead before leaning back.
“Tell you what. I’ll give you a snack if you help dress your brother and get dressed on your own okay?”
Unlike Jin, Hye gave me a small nod before getting up and dragging her doll with her as she went.
I stood dumbly in the middle of the living room thinking of what exactly to do next. It was then that Joongie, my beloved dog, came up to me to remind me I’d forgotten to give him breakfast. Once upon a time I’d adored that name Joongie but now I hated it and thought it sad that the dog wouldn’t respond to anything other than. After giving him recently bought dog food in a bowl Dae had kindly let me use, I yielded to my temptations and returned to the window. My heart vaulted when I saw him there, still unmoving as a statue. Gnawing at my lip contemplatively, I blandished myself regretfully as I went to the door and turned the knob.
At the sound of the door opening Jaejoong turned around and froze when he saw me. That feeling, that unlabeled feeling coursed through me when our eyes latched. The sensation was so potent I broke the stare and pretended to assess the weather.
“I could ask what you’re doing here but a part of me is scared to know.” I said then when I finally looked at him. There was something about the turbulence in his eyes that worried me beyond a will of my own. He was disheveled. That quick look into his eyes was enough for me to know that he hadn’t slept for a while. I knew I’d be giving myself too much credit if I thought that I was the reason. I felt as though something else, something much bigger was troubling him.
But it wasn’t my business.
And I convinced myself that I didn’t care.
Since it was very much like Jaejoong not to say anything, I got frustrated, stepped back inside and shut the door behind me with impetus. He could be so annoying! I wasn’t up to babying antics this morning when I already had two kids to deal with. If he needed someone to coddle him he was better off running to his ever waiting fans.
Once I made sure the twins were dressed appropriately I grudgingly did as promised and gave them the candy that would have them visiting the dentist in the near future. I was just a sore sucker for their puppy dog eyes and couldn’t turn down their pleas. I then tended to domestic chores such as making sure Dae’s home was clean and putting out food for lunch. All the while I worried about my apartment. With all the snowfall and temperamental winter weather going to check for surviving items wouldn’t be feasible. I also began to worry about their insurance policy and whether innocent victims of the fire would be refunded for demolished items. Utterly helpless though, I left those thoughts on the backburner.
By then nearly thirty minutes had passed. All the while I periodically looked out the window. He was still there. Huffing and puffing and planning to blow his brains out for making me do what I was about to do, I marched out of the house with my hands wrapped around a steaming mug.
This time Jaejoong didn’t even turn around when the door opened and I briefly wondered if he’d frozen to death. Regardless I made it up to him, set the hot cup of coffee beside him and made to return to the house without another word. If I stayed I would end up quelling my curiosity by asking him what was wrong. I didn’t want him to think I cared. I didn’t want to think that I cared.
I was well on my way to shut the front door when Jaejoong’s husky and lost voice halted me.
“You were right.”
I clamped my mouth hard to keep me from asking him what I was right about. But damn if I wasn’t dying to know. Even though I didn’t ask, my not leaving was question enough, which is why he continued.
“Glory is like a circle in the water, which never ceaseth to enlarge itself, till by broad spreading it disperses to naught. You remember that Shakespeare quote, Mimi? You were right about that.”