The Unkindest Cut of All (Completed)

by Pseudonym

Chapter 2

I promise with all my heart that from here the chapters will be a whole lot better.

THANKS FOR READING!

oh this chapter may be a bit choppy. please excuse it lol i'll edit it later

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Chapter 2

Mariam

“Mariam?” I turned around to find Shin Seung Lee rushing to me and my children as I thought of what my next course of action should be. His arrival was so surprising that for several moments I thought that the smoke had made its way through my head, causing me to see wrongly.

“I got here as fast as I could. I didn’t think I’d still find you here,” He said, trying to catch respite as he slowed his jogging to a stop in front of me.

“Hyung!” Jin called blithely before I could get a word in, reaching out for the tall man dressed in a white sweater and jeans.

“Jin no.” I halted while still holding on to him, not because I didn’t want him to touch Seung but because he and Hye were wrapped in the same blanket and if he left it would come undone. I couldn’t afford him to face any type of cold.

Seung slowed his actions. When I saw that he appeared a little bit surprised and offended, I explained myself hurriedly.

“I’m sorry. It’s not like that. It’s just Jin and Hye are sharing the same blanket. I don’t want them to be without it,” I said, trying to ignore the numbness from pain in my arms. In truth I wanted nothing more than for Seung to whisk the kids from me so that I could have a chance to rest my arms. But first of all I needed to figure out why he was here. Secondly I didn’t want to heave my responsibilities on him.

“It’s fine. I’ll carry them for you.”

“Seung, no it’s okay—”

Without my consent he tried to lift both the children and the wiggling dog from my throbbing arms. Jin was the more willing party while Hye remained indifferent to Seung as she’d always been. That already showed the many differences of my children despite being twins. Jin was friendlier while Hye had this aloof quality about her that always worried me to no end.

“It’s okay Hye…” I said to her but when Seung tried to fully hold her in his left arm she nearly toppled over and fell from trying to reach for me as she cried. I grasped her flank before she could fall, sighing to myself as I wrapped my arms around her.

“I can’t leave her in her night clothes alone in this weather,” I explained to Seung, nearly choking due to how tightly she coiled her arms around my neck.

“Then let’s hurry to my car.”

“But—“

“Come on. You don’t want her to get sick do you?” He was already walking off with a jovial Jin in his arms. I was glad that Jin no longer cried because of seeing me cry but he mistook this situation for a happy one. I couldn’t fault him though and would’ve rather he felt excitement rather than grief.

“Joongie woke me up,” Jin told Seung cheerfully, carrying the excited dog in his small arms.

“Oh really?”

“Yes! And when I woke up, there was all this black stuff! I couldn’t see!”

As the two of them chattered away I was left with no choice but to tag along with Hye.

Once we got to his car, which was parked by the curb not too far away, I tried to place Hye in the backseat so that I could go return the fireman’s boots.

“What are you doing here?” I asked Seung when I’d finally accepted that it really was him and not a figment of my imagination.

“I heard this on the breaking news. Soon as I heard it was your apartments I called and got no answer. So I hopped in my car and got here as quickly as I could,” he explained as he placed Jin in the back with Joongie already tottering in the car. Seung’s words made me come up short and look at him through the opposite end of the car while he tucked my son in a seatbelt. I was floored that he showed up merely thirty minutes after the fire occurred. It shouldn’t have been surprising, since he was an avid news watcher.

Seung and I worked together at a bank and for the longest he’d been the most courteous to me. There were times when he got a little pushy though. Just to get straight to the point, he had tried to get me to go on a date with him more times than I could count. Korean-American and at a staggering six’ foot two with jet black, well groomed hair, he was the type who caught attention the moment he stepped into a room like a moth to a flame...

An attention grabber he was. Like Kim Jaejoong…

I shook my head at the vivid thought of that monster that had ruined my life. If I allowed myself to think about Jaejoong then I would have the urge to hit people and throw things.

With broad shoulders, a slim waist and long lean legs, Seung had a popular reputation with the ladies, which was majorly why I didn’t want to get involved with him.

His behavior of coming here like superman, though appreciative, was just another stark reminder of his overbearing personality and how hard he was trying to win me over. I don’t even know why he was trying to. My biggest guess was he probably wanted to add me onto the endless list of females he’d already messed with so that he could go laugh it up with his friends in a bar. He was a great guy but he obviously could never get the message that I was not going to be with another person for the rest of my life. Not after what I’d already endured. My heart was shattered and irreparable. I didn’t have the energy to go through what I went through a second time.

“You really didn’t have to do this,” I said to him momentarily and he looked up from listening to a thrilled, talkative Jin.

“And just leave you here?” He snickered and shook his head while snapping the safety belt shut. “You’re kidding me right?”

Not really in the mood to argue because I was feeling nauseas, and also realizing I was being a bit ungrateful, I left it at that. My next focus was to quell Hye down by convincing her that I was not leaving and would be back shortly. After explaining to Seung that I would be back, I went in pursuit of the fireman but didn’t find him. I guessed that he was at the fiery building with everyone else trying to lessen the commotion. As I walked to the fire truck to return his shoes, I felt my face burning up. For the past two days I’d been feeling a bit woozy but had thought nothing of it. Seung had advised me to stay home but I had declined because I needed all the money that I could get. Having two children as a single mother was not easy.

Since the man was nowhere in sight, I simply left his shoes in the fire truck before hurrying on my way to the car. It was so cold that each step my naked feet took was a painful one that left me hoping that I wouldn’t fall sick.

When I got back in the car I found that Seung was trying to calm a crying Hye, who had suddenly stopped upon my arrival.

“Wow,” he laughed faintly. “She really hates me.”

I frowned, wishing that I could talk some sense into Hye as I slid into the passenger’s seat. “I’m very sorry. She can be a handful.”

“Umma!” Jin suddenly cried.

“Yes?” I looked over my shoulder at him before asking Seung hastily, “Do you have your cell phone with you?”

Without asking questions, Seung gave me a nod, fished in his pocket and handed me his cell while Jin went on with his babbling.

While trying to respond to Jin, I dialed my best friend’s number. Seung kindly took over for by picking the conversation with Jin where I had left off.

“Hello?”

“Dae? This is Mariam. I’m not waking you am I?” It was only ten o’clock, but I’d retired earlier than usual because I’d been feeling sick all afternoon.

“No. I'm still up. What’s up?”

“Can I stay at your place just for tonight?”

At that question I felt Seung’s eyes on me as he peeled out of the curb onto the main road.

“Um, sure, something wrong?”

“Long story. I’ll tell you when the twins and I get there.”

“Aw I get to see my babies! Oh yeah! I’ve been trying to call you, what’s wrong with your phone? Anyway, you’ll never guess what news I have for you. You just wait!”

“I can’t wait,” I told her weakly, feeling short of breath all of a sudden. My face was blazing as though I was face to face with the very flames that swallowed my belongings.

“You know you could stay at my place for the night…” Seung suggested, and this was the very reason why I had called Dae.

“It’s okay. I didn’t want to give you any trouble. I called my bestfriend. She doesn’t live too far off from here. If it’s okay with you, could you drop me there?” There was no sense in trying to wean him like he was a baby by apologizing for my decision.

Sighing under his breath, he agreed and ferried me to Dae’s house, asking me various questions on what had happened and if I was okay. When that was out of the way, he began making conversation mostly with Jin. I knew he was upset with me for not really wanting to stay at his place, but I it was better off that way.

My head was against the window pane as he drove us to our destination. I watched all the city lights zip right by like fireflies in a race. Despite the hardships I faced in this metropolitan city, it wasn’t so bad. I loved the way it looked, especially at night. I was suddenly awed by a tall building that we passed when Joongie startled me by leaping from the back of the car to my lap. An important event seemed to be going on because heavy media crowded building’s entrance. I found myself wondering what it would be like to stand at the top of the building and look at the rest of the world. I decided it must make one feel like they owned the word. A faint smile furled my lips when I recalled the time Jaejoong took me to that a similar, tall building. It was a rare day that he’d had off where we both spent it in the hotel room I was staying at watching The Titanic, me for the millionth time. He was watching it for the first time only because I forced him to. He ended up falling in love with the characters and love story just as I had, me foolishly believing him when he said that he felt we were like the two star crossed lovers on the screen.

Suddenly, Jaejoong had grabbed my hand and told me to go with him on his bike. Flustered at first, I’d eventually gotten over my fear of riding those fast machines due to Jaejoong’s calming words that he’d protect me no matter what. He had taken me to a building that only seemed fit for the elite, and without being questioned was allowed to take me to the highest floor which was surprisingly vacant at that time. We walked up to the widest window I’d ever seen. I was awed by the beauty that lay beneath.

Positioning me before him, he had instructed me to stretch my arms outward, close my eyes, and imagine that I was flying away with him to guide me. And when I opened my eyes, he’d told me with his lips close to my ear as I looked down on the world that I could take it.

That I could own it if I wanted.

And that if I ever needed anything, anything at all, then all I’d have to do was call him.

“What are you thinking about?” Seung zapped me out of my thoughts, bringing me back to the gruesome present. Turning to him with droopy eyes from the headache assailing me, I smiled weakly in response.

"Nothing," I said, my voice far away in the tangled mess of those tarnished memories that I couldn't seem to let go of.

~0~0~0~

Jaejoong

The energy in the night club was in full swing. So much that I could’ve sworn the building was rocking with all the partying and blaring music taking place in it. After the wedding reception, Yunho, Junsu and I, along with my long time my childhood friend Eunji all decided to continue celebrating the approaching Christmas season at a famous nightclub.

There were no plans for the next day, even though after that we had to tape a variety show, but I wasn’t even thinking that far ahead. My mindset was in the here and now. All I wanted to do was enjoy myself.

I tried to convince myself that it was a night. The convincing came to an end when I’d I stopped one girl and spun her around because she had the same type of hair as Mariam.

To my misfortune, it wasn’t Mariam. I’d searched the girl’s face for any sign of Mariam but had found none. The way that my insides lurched with the thought of seeing her sandy brown hair and the fact that it wasn’t her set me in a grumpy mood.

We were now all seated in the VIP section upstairs, chugging at our alcoholic beverages. My head was tilted back as I drained the contents from the bottle down my throat and when I was done, I set it on the glass table top in front of me with a loud thump.

“Hey, you might want to slow down on that,” Yunho warned with a faint chuckle.

“Nah, let the man enjoy himself,” Eunji reasoned. “All of you should. You’ve worked hard this year.”

So hard that I had barely seen the year pass me by. This year was a year for surpassing our every dreams. At the rate that we were going I thought we’d be sure to explode. Success had been very good to all of us.

Very good. We had everything that we could ever ask for.

But now what?

Five drinks later, all Junsu and Yunho were about to call it a night but first Yunho claimed he had to make sure that I was okay.

“Your overdrinking is worrying me. What’s gotten into you?” he asked.

“Mariam…” I slurred. Yunho held an uncomfortable look on his face. I laughed.

“Marriage. It’s so f****ing stupid. You know we’re not going to get married?” I shook my heavy head, grimacing when pain zinged through me. “Nope. Not me and you Yunho. We’ll be lonely bastards for the rest of our lives. You know why? Cause that’s just the way that it’s supposed to be.”

Everyone we were seated with looked at me strangely. I laughed. And laughed. And laughed. Not really caring how they stared at me. I knew then that the alcohol had become one with my blood, but I assured them, especially Yunho, that I was alright. I was just tired. Happy, but tired.

After how I’d answered his question, Yunho became reluctant to leave but after I stressed to him that I was okay, he capitulated to his tired bones and left.

Eunji and I eventually left too, with him trying to make sure that I would be okay to drive on my own. I’d told him that I was, even as slurred as my words were.

The drive to my mansion wasn’t one I could remember so vividly. All I knew was that the music was blasting so loud I was sure the windows of my imported Mercedes Benz from the US would break. My mind was detached from my body, floating somewhere else as I tried to find my way home. I’d suddenly forgotten where I was going.

It was then that flashing neon blue and red lights caught my attention, singeing my eyes. I paid the flickering no mind, continuously driving as I listened to the hard rock pumping from my speakers. A distant wailing suddenly caught my attention, but I assumed that it was part of the music. It was when I saw someone tailgating the rear end of my car that I realized those effulgent lights and siren came from a police man that was in hot pursuit of me.

After letting out a slew of curse words out of my mouth, I lowered my rage-filled music while cumbersomely branching off to the side. The car rocked unsteadily as I unceremoniously scraped the wheels of my car against the curb. A loud rapping at my tinted window seemed to slice my head in half. Every sound deafening.

Groaning under my breath, I depressed the button that automated the window down.

With my head heavily against the headrest, I rolled my head to eye the policeman through bleary eyes. The sharp light from his torch made me wince and groan as I turned away, shielding my eyes from the brightness.

“Do you know why I stopped you?” the policeman began. I let out a choppy laugh.

“Do I care? Does she?” I blurted out. I’d always been the blunt one, but when I had alcohol swimming through my veins, I was hopelessly honest.

“What? What are you talking about? I need to see your license and registration.” The policeman’s crude voice made me feel like my mind was being drilled with a sharp tool. Grimacing, I tilted to one side to get my wallet. My fingers felt so lose and ticklish that I could barely slip my driver’s license from the plastic slot before I handed it to him.

“I knew you looked familiar. If it isn't the perfect Kim Jae Joong. This is going to be interesting.” the police officer said, administering arrogant chuckles from his chest while perusing my I.D.

After handing it back, he eyed me with scrutiny. “You run two lights. Didn’t stop at a stop sign—“

“Ha…you know...she. She used to…ask me…” Suddenly I reached out and caught a handful of the officer’s shirt before drawing him near. “Have you seen her? I think I saw her. She’s still so beautiful…”

He roughly tore my hand away, “Your breath reeks of alcohol. I need you to step out of the car.”

I started to laugh, wrapping both my hands at the top of the steering wheel where I lay my head. When I finally raised my head I set it heavily on the headrest, pointing at the policeman with a gnarled finger, “You’re fu—nny. Do—do you know—w-w-where she is? I never meant to…leave, you see? Damn it I never meant to leave!”

“I’ll need you to get out of the—“

I slumped hard against the car door, “What is she-what if--if she’s with someone else I’ll…I’ll kill her. She pro-promised. You hear me? Do you f***ing hear me?”

“Do you know what you’re saying?” The police officer reached into the car and opened it from the inside before yanking hard on the door handle.

His militant demands of me to get out of the car eventually forced me out of my comfort zone. The ground that I planned to step on seemed so close yet far away, wavering before my eyes. This caused me to stumble and fall on all fours when I barreled out. My head pounded viciously, dark dots prickling my eyesight. My innards gurgled upsettingly, tempting me to regurgitate all the alcohol I had drank.

I felt myself being jerked upward only to realize that the police officer had picked me up by the back of my shirt. As he slammed the front line of my body against my car, my mind spun like a wheel.

“By the time this is over, I’m going to end up taking you to the station. You’re too prissy drunk to drive, and you’re a hazard to everyone else.”

“Where is s-she?!” I started to demand suddenly.

“You’re a lost cause. What is the public going to think about your image now?" The policeman murmured. I didn’t have the heart to argue with him because he was right.

I was just so gone, so gone.

At that time I didn’t really think of the repercussions that would arise from my careless actions.