| Fan Fiction |
by Pseudonym
Now here comes the bad news, I was informed yesterday that surgery is probably the only way to get rid of the lump. I’m a bit upset because of that, but I guess whenever I’m upset I’m prone to writing more just cause I need to get my mind off of the stress. We’re going to try see other doctors in hopes for another solution. Anyway your well wishes kept my head afloat when I felt like drowning lol thank you!
And most of all thank you all so much for reading! I appreciate each and every one of your comments. You guys make my day better lol (seriously haha. I can't do personal responses. I'm running late for work!I feel so guilty when I dont respond to you guys individually =(
Chapter 23
Later that evening when the kids had finally woken up, we introduced them to Yunho as Uncle Yunho. The shock on his face was priceless. He then said that there was no doubt in his mind that the kids were mind. And like everyone, he expressed that it was a bit scary how much they looked like me. Deep down inside I knew this entire concept of me being a father still disturbed him. Being the leader of our group, it only made sense for him to worry how this would affect the group. I felt bad for being neglectful. Ever since I’d come here I’d been focusing on Mariam and the kids to the exclusion of everything else. I didn’t even go on the internet to see what fans were saying anymore because I’d have this compelling need to tell cure their suspicions and concerns. Like I owed them something. Like I owed them my life.
Whether it bothered him or not, Yunho still handled the situation gracefully. The kids, mostly Jin, seemed to enjoy his presence. Of course Jin with his friendly streak didn’t have a problem warming up to him. Hye was another story. She cried when he tried to carry her and run to Mariam for safety. Jin on the other hand smothered Yunho, adhering to him like a moth to a flame. They were playing with Jin’s action figures on the floor while Jin asked him the strangest questions. Like why his teeth were so white. Or why he was so tall. And if he had come over to be his father too. Slowly, as though realizing that he wasn’t harmful, Hye inched towards them. Before long she was seated beside Yunho, cautiously but kindly handing him her dolls.
To say the least, the kids loved him, and that made me very happy.
“Hey dummy,” I heard from behind me from where I stood leaning against the kitchen foyer. A second later my arm was linked with another’s. It belonged to Mariam.
“Hey shorty. What’s up?”
I laughed when she narrowed her eyes at my name calling. Not taking issue with that she laid her head on my arm, watching the happy scene in front of us. “Nothing. I’m glad they’ve taken a liking to him so easily.”
“Me too.”
“You know, I’m really surprised.”
“By what?”
“Yunho isn’t as scary as I thought. In fact, he’s was very likable.” She looked up at me. “Seriously, I’m floored by how much personality you guys have. I honestly would expect you to be real jerks in real life but you’re all far from that.”
“Thanks,” I said with a smile. It almost meant more for people to tell me that I had a good heart more than I did a good voice.
“In my eyes, you’re still a jerk though.”
I grinned lasciviously at her, walking her backwards until she was in the kitchen, up against the nearby fridge, “Jerks have the most fun.”
Mariam squinted as she gently pushed at my chest, “Ha! Don’t flatter yourself with that thought.”
“Speaking of thoughts. I’ve been thinking. Would you like—“
“No.”
“How about—“
“Can’t. Sorry.”
Folding my arms, I tilted my head. “You didn’t even know what I was about to say.”
“What were you going to say?”
“Would you…like me to wash the dishes after dinner instead?” What I had really wanted to ask her was if she wanted to go out some time but opted against it.
“Uh…wow you’ve put me in such a tough position Jae,” she said sarcastically.
I smirked lewdly and licked my lips obscenely as I lowered my head. “Speaking of positions…”
“You are such a pervert!”
I winked, “For you, I am.”
Mariam’s serious face suddenly fell as if the harnesses that held it up snipped as she broke into a laugh. I joined her with my forehead falling to her shoulder. For several moments we just laughed against each other. The sound of her laughter was a gentle caress to my ears. I didn’t think she was aware that her hands were clinging onto my arms.
“Okay okay. Sorry. I’m kidding,” I said when I regained my breath after laughing so hard that my stomach hurt, slowly lifting my head.
Without warning her I swooped down and paralleled my lips with hers.
“You have to stop doing this,” she murmured through a moan against the kiss.
“I can’t,” I whispered along her lips, cupping her nape to draw her closer.
“Good,” Mariam murmured. “I never want you to stop.”
~0~0~0~
“Jin, stop crying,” I told him with a sigh. I was hunkered down beside him from where he sat at one corner of the living room.
“He said he didn’t want to be my Appa!” he argued, his cheeks puffy and red with tears trailing them.
“He didn’t say that,” I said, wiping his tears with his shirt. “He said he couldn’t be because you already have one.”
Jin tilted his head back to glare at me accusatorily, “I want two!”
“You can’t have everything you want,” I said with a mild smile while running my hand over his head.
Jin instantly stopped crying and looked at me wide eyed, “Umma said I could.”
I knew she meant that figuratively but there was no use explaining that to Jin. Speaking of Mariam, she was in the bedroom making her ‘phone calls’. I’d just learned to ignore that part of her since it annoyed me so much. I was having too much of a good time and didn’t want to waste it.
“Hey Jin, are you still upset with me?” we heard from behind us to find that Yunho had walked up. Folding his arms, with his ruddy bottom lip puckered, Jin turned away with a loud huff that said he still was. All I could do was shake my head at his behavior. He was an attention seeker at best. Like me.
Both Yunho and I laughed at the little guy. Yunho squatted on his other side only for Jin to completely face me.
“Jin stop acting like that,” I said to him, trying not to laugh.
“I don’t talk to mean people,” Jin rebutted.
“I wasn’t being mean. I was just saying that you have a good enough father. You don’t need another one,” Yunho explained.
“But I want another one!” Jin countered.
“Why do you want two fathers?” I finally asked.
“How else am I supposed to get more gifts on Christmas?!”
I nearly fell off balance because of Jin’s unexpected answer. The pained question sent a ruckus of laughter throughout the room. He was so shameless.
“Oh, I’ll still always buy you gifts. In fact, my gifts will be much bigger than the ones Appa buys you,” Yunho said. Jin’s eyes instantly lit up as he fully turned to Yunho.
“Really?!”
“Really. But you have to be a good boy in order to receive those gifts,” Yunho said, lifting Jin into his arms as he stood.
“I guess he won’t get any gifts,” Hye said softly as she played with her dolls beside Mama’s feet.
“Shut up!” Jin retorted.
“Hey, hey, hey, stop using that language with your sister,” I warned him and he turned to me with an odd look.
“Why? It’s the only language that I know. Umma said she, she was going to teach me English though,” he said it so seriously and that’s what made all of us laugh again.
“There is no doubt in my mind that this child is yours,” Yunho said and I smiled proudly.
Dinner not only had our taste buds singing but also elevated the good time we were having. I could say that I was seeing the old Mariam in action as she interacted with Yunho, but I was seeing bits and pieces of a new one. She no longer had that tough, intimidating air around her. She had always been a nice person, she seemed a lot nicer these days.
Not that it was a bad thing. It was a good thing. A confusing thing, but a good thing. Maybe life away from the city had bettered her.
Whatever it was, I wished I could hug it and thank it for this positive change.
Even though I insisted on clearing out the table and washing the dishes, Mariam shooed me away saying that she’d take care of everything.
“You’re best friend is only going to be here for two more days. Enjoy him while he’s here.”
Then just as I nodded my understanding, she smirked mischievously, sliding her eyes hungrily down my body. “Record some of that uh…enjoyment for me too please.”
When I stared at her irritably Mariam laughed. “You’re too funny Jae. Oh my gosh, I can’t stop laughing.”
Instead of leaving, I stood there, looking at her. I loved the way her throat was arched back, revealing her sunny, tempting skin. The way her hair fell listlessly over her slender shoulders. And her big smile, it warmed my insides. Catching her off guard, I cradled her face in my hands and gave her a lengthy, deep kiss.
When I pulled back, Mariam was stunned, flushed, and out of breath. It was my turn to do the smirking as I wiped my lips with the back of my hand.
“Ha!” I folded my arms and jutted my chin arrogantly. “Look who made you stop laughing.”
That earned me a playful punch on the arm before she chased me out of the dining table. I was in search of Yunho and the kids only to find some sort of wrestling match going on in the hallway. Hye was standing before the bathroom door while Jin clung with his arms and legs around one of Yunho’s legs.
Without even asking I knew what was going on and was not surprised. Yunho, on the other hand, was flustered and when he raised his head to me his expression turned pleading.
“Help,” he said when all I did was laugh at the humorous image in front of me.
“Now you will experience the wrath of what I go through,” I said as I neared them. At that moment Yunho flattened his hand on the nearby wall to keep him from falling when Jin clung tighter.
“What are you guys doing?” I asked the kids with a sigh.
“We weren’t done playing,” Hye explained.
“You can’t refuse someone to go to the bathroom.”
“You do it to Umma all the time,” Jin said and my cheeks grew hot while I bashfully scratched the back of my head at Yunho’s shock.
“Hey, we were just—anyway let Yunho hyung go to the bathroom please. You’ll continue playing when he comes back out.”
Eventually the kids grudgingly let Yunho pass. During that time I ushered them to their bedroom because it was way passed their bed time. Of course they gave me mouth about it, calling me all sorts of mean and evil. Having such a big soft spot for them, I nearly let them stay up when Mariam passed by the room and put her foot down. I was thankful for her no-nonsense attitude. It fit that missing characteristic from myself.
When the kids finally succumbed and went to sleep, Mariam and I watched over them for a while before quietly leaving the room.
We later found ourselves in the living room with Yunho. Mama had already retired for the night.
It still felt a bit weird to have Mariam and Yunho in the same room for some reason. It was like they were strangers who knew each other, linked together because of me. When the kids weren’t around, the harsh reality of our situation always seemed to hit the hardest.
At the end of the day, I was still a pop idol. Me having kids still served as a problem. We had yet to figure out what was to be done about it. And I noted that my stay here had made me negligent of my responsibilities. It was almost like I was drifting further away from the group, something all five of us had vowed never to do.
Keeping the kids a secret was not helping the situation at all. It was only making things harder. As if trailing in my thoughts, Yunho brought up the subject after we had danced around fire, making small talk about the weather and such.
“You know, I was talking to your mother Mariam and I brought up that before getting back on the road, me and the guys are going to Sung-woo resorts to spend our new year there.” From the way Yunho was seated forward, his legs parted with his elbows on his knees and his hands knitted, I knew that he meant business. If his posture wasn’t enough, his facial expression was.
When I switched my gaze to Mariam I noted that she was a trifle intimidated. I was a bit too. I didn’t know where this was headed. I mean, Yunho had told me about them going up there. I’d wanted to go too but I couldn’t leave the kids.
Clumping her hands above her knees reservedly, Mariam smiled faintly at Yunho. “That’s really nice. I’m glad you’re all able to reap the benefits of your success and vacation in such lavish places. You all deserve it.”
Yunho nodded meekly. “Thank you.” He looked at me shortly before returning his gaze back to Mariam. “I think that you should come with us. You, your kids, and Jaejoong.”
My eyes grew wide as I stared at Yunho. I definitely was not expecting that. When my gaze shifted back to Mariam, I saw that she mirrored my shock.
“I don’t mean to come during a holiday and rain on your parade, but Jaejoong being a father is a serious matter that needs to be dealt with when we have the time. I thought that I should discuss this with both of you as opposed to doing it separately. I think it would be in Jaejoong’s best interest, and yours too that the rest of the members get acquitted with the children. They don’t even know that Jaejoong is here, they think he’s at home and they’re starting to get worried not knowing where he is. I hated to have to lie to them to say that I was going to see some of my family when in truth I came to see him and his children.
“I think the other members deserve to know what’s going on. See, I don’t know how you view us Mariam, but we’re more than just some pop idol group. We’re like brothers. We keep nothing from each other. When Jaejoong kept your relationship from us four years ago, it was really hard on him, and it had a domino effect because it became hard on us too. It nearly broke us apart.
“We’re currently going through a lot right now despite what the public sees. Please don’t think I’m trying to say that the children are a problem. They’re a blessing, which is why we need to tell the other members. And it’s not just about that. If the kids are going to be in Jaejoong’s life, they will be in the rest of ours. I think it’s only fair that we all get familiar with each other.”
Mariam didn’t look like a happy camper. Discomfort was apparent. She rubbed her temple and then her nape; a clear sign of distress.
I remained seated, watching her carefully to see her reaction. Even though this was my first time hearing of this, I somewhat had to agree with Yunho.
I couldn’t keep this a secret forever.
“What about your manager?” Mariam asked.
“He wont know about it. this resort is strictly for artists with absolutely no intrusion from management. That’s all we asked of them before we get back on the road.”
I had already decided that the kids and I were going. I missed the guys far too much and though I was nervous about telling them, I felt that they really needed to know.
I hated keeping secrets from them.
“I don’t think that I can do it. first of all, I can’t even afford those cabins and—“
“I’ll take care of that for you,” Yunho vouched. Mariam gaped at him before shaking her head vehemently.
“No. I can’t let you do that Yunho oppa. I’m sorry—“
“Mariam, this isn’t just about you. Or about the kids. Or just about DBSK. It’s about all of us. It’s about time we stopped ignoring the issue and face it head on like adults.” He sighed heavily. “I understand that this isn’t easy for you, but it’s not easy for all of us. The only way that I see this working is if we all work together. Please.”
Both Mariam and I synonymously flicked our eyes to each other. She still appeared worrisome and uncertain about the whole issue.
“Please Mariam,” I cajoled. “The kids need to get out too.”
“I can’t leave Mama to take care of the bed and breakfast alone—“
“I talked to her about that and she said it’s fine. It’s only for two days. We won’t be gone long.”
Swallowing hard, Mariam stared straight ahead of her as she deliberated. I nearly crossed my fingers hoping that she would come around. Mariam was a tough one to break.
Just when I thought all hope was lost, she expelled a long sigh of surrender. “Okay, I’ll give it a shot. But if the media intrudes in any kind of way—“
“We’ve gone through extremes to make sure that no one interrupts us. Just trust me, okay?”
She gnawed at her bottom lip apprehensively. Then the spell was broken when she nodded her head slowly. My face was brightened with a cutting edge smile. I wanted to run up to her and kiss her but my gut told me this was one of those times where I’d receive a slap for even trying.
We all talked some more, with Yunho telling Mariam more about the resort. I’d only been there once, two years ago with the guys. We had had the best time. I was interested to see where things would go this year.
But as Yunho talked, I could tell that Mariam only listened half-heartedly. I couldn’t blame her. He had just asked her to meet the very people that had taken me away from her. She already had her preconceived notions about the rest of the guys. It was going to be a little bit awkward but hopefully their warm personalities would melt that away.
Mariam was the first to announce that she was going off to bed. Yunho would be sleeping in Mariam’s room while she slept with the kids. He said he had booked for a night at the hotel but she insisted that he stay because winter roads late in the night were hazardous.
Just as we all made our departures, Mariam stopped before going down the hallway.
“Guys, I-I’m sorry,” she suddenly said, wringing her hands nervously. We both stared at her in shock.
“Sorry about what?” I asked.
“This,” she smiled sadly. “If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have had to go through all of this. And I’m sorry.”
Before any of us could say a word, Mariam had disappeared into the hallway.
~0~0~0~
The next morning I was woken up to someone small pouncing on my back. I groaned in pain into the pillow my head was resting on as Jin straddled my back. My sleep was always very uncomfortable because I had been sleeping on the couch since the first day I got here.
“Good morning Appa!” he chirped, his small hands shaking me awake. I had to stifle another groan of annoyance from my sleep being disrupted. But even then, a smile crept on my lips.
When I felt some more weight on my lower back I knew then that Hye had quietly climbed onto me too. This was how I was woken up when I didn’t get up before the kids. Slowly but surely, I was getting used to it.
“Hi Appa,” Hye greeted sweetly.
“Uh, hi guys,” I said on a string of air, struggling to breath. They weren’t the lightest kids on the earth.
“It’s sunny outside. Can we go and play?” Jin suggested excitedly. I wanted to say no and that I wanted to sleep in some more, but I muttered a muffled yes into the pillow only for the kids to squeal excitedly.
“Go get ready.”
When the kids scrambled out of the room in a haste to get dressed, I lay my head back to sleep. Shortly, Mariam’s voice incised through the sleep I was struggling so much for.
“Hmm?” I responded groggily, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
“Have you seen Jin and Hye?”
“I’d just come from telling them to get ready.”
Mariam sighed while sitting on the edge of the couch, “They’re probably playing hide and seek huh?”
The kids had acquired this nasty habit of hiding in the closet beneath the TV set whenever either me or Mariam wanted to dress them before leaving the house. They seemed to loathe the bulk of winter clothes and would much rather dress themselves. Jin’s idea of dressing himself meant wearing nothing at all. He said clothes were uncomfortable.
“Yep,” I finally answered her, enjoying my view of her from behind.
“Will you help me go and get them dressed?” She asked tiredly and I scoffed.
“No.”
Mariam cut her eyes at me.
“Sorry buddy.”I shrugged. “You’re on your own today. I had to deal with them three times already. On my own.”
“I thought we were in this together
“You okay?” I reached up and stroked her face, only to come into contact with hot skin. “Why are you blazing like that?”
“I am? I think its cause the heater is on,” she explained nervously.
“Your face is red too.”
“Like I said, the heater is way too high. I’ll cut it down. Anyway, I’m going to get the kids ready.”
Reclining backwards with my arms tucked behind my head, I pouted, giving Mariam puppy eyes.
“What now?” she asked, setting her hands akimbo.
“I want someone to help me get ready too.”
“You’re a grown man Jaejoong.”
“Grown men need love too…”
Mariam twisted her lips the moment I caught her about to smile.
“And what do you suggest that I do?”
A wicked grin flicked my lips, “You could start by giving me a bath.”
Mariam was already walking off before I’d finished saying my last word.
I was left laughing, and also left feeling apprehensive.
The trip to the resort could go one of two ways.
“Hey Mariam,” I called out to her before she left. She spun around.
“Hmm?”
“Stop apologizing.”
“What?”
“Stop apologizing. I don’t regret you being in my life. You shouldn’t regret it either.”
She knew then that I was referring to her absurd apology last night. All she did was give me a smile.
A sad smile.