| Fan Fiction |
by Pseudonym
I MIGHT BE BACK LATER ON TONIGHT IF NOT TOMORROW WILL BE THE LAST TIME I POST FOR A WHILE. AND FOR THOSE WHO WONT BE ABLE TO READ IT'S OKAY THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW THANKS TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU ONCE AGAIN
Chapter 30
Jaejoong
The plan was for me to apologize to the fans and get back on the road with DBSK as soon as possible.
The problem was that the schedule suspiciously become more clustered than the last time I remembered looking at it.
Like she said, she left with the kids. It was painful watching them go. If I wasn’t on call the next day I wouldn’t have let her, but there was no way that I could take them with me to the unstable environment at LN Entertainment. They would be too confused and fans usually stalked the building snapping pictures. Taking them there would be as good as selling myself out. I worried more for the kids’ well-being than my own.
They cried and threw a fit. When they were outside with Mariam dragging them to the taxicab, Jin tore from her grip and ran up to me. Hye did the same.
I quelled their cries with the promise that I would be back as soon as possible. But with the revelation that my suspension was cut short, I wasn’t so sure anymore. On my day back, before a concert was to take place, we were to have a meeting where some big news was to be revealed. It was still my job. Whether I liked it or not, I had to report to the meeting.
When taking the kids back to the car, I didn’t bother looking Mariam in the eye. For the first time, I couldn’t defend her. Her actions were unaccountable. They really made her look skeptical in the other guys’ eyes and my own.
But I swore up and down that if I didn’t find the kids at Mama’s house when I came back, she would regret it. she was shocked by my harsh words, but it seemed like threats were the only words Mariam listened to. When I opened my heart to her the previous night and tried to show her a bit more of who I was that wasn’t enough.
I truly started to wonder if she was behaving like this as a form of payback. Who was I kidding anyway? I’d hurt her the way no human being should afflict another and she let me back in. Knowing Mariam’s pride, those actions were still very suspicious to me.
But would Mariam really sink that low? Were the rest of the guys right? Did I really know Mariam like I thought?
Our relationship four years prior was strained at best. Maybe we were just excited by the concept of forbidden love. I don’t know. But even when trying to get to know her better now, I was left confused. One moment she’s all over me, the next she’s afraid, then after that she gives me the cold shoulder.
And despite all of this, my feelings for her still run deep. Is this what she meant when she used to tell me she hated that she loved me? Was I starting to regret loving Mariam?
Soon arrived a few hours after Mariam left. During that time we all conversed. Or rather, everyone else talked while I painfully listened. It wasn’t fun being the seed of conversation but it couldn’t be helped. My actions had placed me in that predicament.
What surprised me was Soon’s calm demeanor. He wasn’t angry. And everyone else, like I, was shocked by this. I expected to get slapped or punched even—it had happened once before. And for a situation as critical as this, Soon told me to just keep everything on the hush for a while until they figured out a proper strategy. He did drill it into my head that if this leaked to the public all of our images were ruined for good. That was even more weight for me to carry on my shoulders.
My gut told me that Soon had something up his sleeve though. For a man worried about his fortune he was taking this situation all too well. When I asked him casually how he found out, he told me what he said last time—through her friend Dae and his own investigations. I told him then never to investigate on Mariam again because that was a crude violation. I had told him that as a test. And when he promised he would never do that again and only did it before because of worry, I knew that the man seriously had something in the works.
I just didn’t know what.
So I was on edge. There was no telling where his machinations would come from. After seeing him brutally beat up Park Jong Hun, I wasn’t so sure what Soon was capable of any longer.
That day in particular I was having a mental and nervous breakdown. But I kept it all inside as I’d always done throughout the years of my career. Complaining about stress was as good as sin.
My thoughts took the backseat when Soon’s words revealed to me what he’d been cooking up during his quiet absence.
“We’ve conquered Korea. And we’ve conquered Japan,” his eyes roamed over all of us as he spoke. “We’ve also conquered most of Asia. Now the last place, and most important place, is China.”
The devil was passing because the type of silence that filled the room was a pin-drop kind. My eyes, which had been sullenly latched onto the polished tabletop, darted to Soon. There was a determined fire in his eyes. I had seen this look in him before. This blaze of motivation.
It used to inspire me.
Now it only made me weary.
I shifted uncomfortably. This day was already going from bad to worse. It hadn’t even been an entire day since I’d been away from the kids and I missed them dearly. I already called five times to check on them, each time Mama telling me that they were fine but still a bit sulky without me.
To make matters worse, Mariam wasn’t even there.
Mama didn’t know where she had gone.
If that wasn’t enough to put me in a bad mood then what Soon was revealing to us in this spontaneous meeting was. My rage was building like a snowball effect. Each nuance of information made my unreleased anger grow bigger and bigger. Hotter and hotter. If I was pushed to the limit then I would strike something and cause an avalanche.
“China is the biggest market right now,” Soon explained as he showed us a chart that demonstrated China’s economic growth. “In a few years, China will rule the world. It will hold the status that the United States once held when its economy was thriving. So China is our next stop. You all thought debuting in Japan was important, but this, this is more important. Meaning if you guys strike gold in China, you strike gold with the rest of the world. And that is DBSK’s purpose, to rule the universe, right?”
His last words were meant to make all of this sound exclusive. We were meant to be dazzled and nervous and excited. But Soon seemed to be forgetting that we weren’t kids anymore. We no longer just ate the beautified cake without question. We now asked what fattening ingredients made it up before diving right in.
“But I thought you said we were finally going to make a Korean album.” Changmin pointed out quietly. From the look of trepidation on his face I could tell he held my sentiments. I scoured everyone else’s faces. They all held the same expression.
“No.” Soon said with a negligent wave of his hand. “It will be pointless and a waste of time. I’m trying to get LN Entertainment stationed in China. You guys are already pretty popular there but I want to set your status a level higher. I’m planning to make you household names so that we can solidify LN Entertainment’s name there. You will begin training next month for the next six months—“
“What?” I blurted out when I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Soon was way too tactful. He knew exactly what he was doing.
What he didn’t know was that I wasn’t going to take it. Not when my kids depended on it. And Mariam.
I hadn’t meant to be brash but just the thought of going through what we went through in Japan a second time was enough to make me lose my faculties. First of all, we had to learn Japanese, which isn’t an easy language.
Mandarin is ten times more difficult. How in the hell did he expect us to do that in six months alone? How did he expect me to do that and take care of the kids?
Everyone turned in my direction, surprised by my outburst. I was surprised too but there was no turning back.
There was no hiding it.
I caught spasms going through Soon’s jaw as a result of me, the problem child, speaking up.
“Yes Jaejoong?”
“Cassipoiea has been waiting for us to return for god knows how long. And we’re all so tired of traveling. We were all looking forward to returning home—“
“Jaejoong, are you a little boy?”
His words officially shut me up and sent uncomfortable shifts through the room.
“Are you?” Soon pressed.
“No.” I grated.
“Let me teach you something new today, guys. You all are businessmen before you’re singers. Sad to say, but anyone in the music industry is a businessman first. Anyone with a right mind. The reason why groups such as H.O.T. and so forth fell short in the profitable department is because they didn’t use their heads. I’ve put too much time cultivating you guys into understanding how the money works. Those nice cars and those big houses don’t just come from singing and dancing alone. They come from a smart work ethic.
“Do you guys fail to realize that most of your profits come from Japan and not Korea? Most of your success is owed to Japan. As for China, this will be the highest stepping-stone. Once you’ve reached here, there isn’t a higher place that you can go.
“This isn’t a vacation, or a place where people come to sing and dance for the heck of it. This is a business. The next logical step will be to advance into China. Going back to Korea will be simply wasting time.”
“What about our fans?” Junsu asked and I caught Soon catching himself before he rolled his eyes.
“You will get more fans in China,” he said with a gruff sigh.
“We’re talking about the ones in South Korea, the ones at home.” I argued. Soon cut his eyes at me.
“This isn’t about the fans.” He finally snapped, saying exactly what I’d wanted him to say.
We faced off for a long while before I clarified the bitter truth. “It’s about the money, isn’t it?”
“What in this world isn’t about the money?” he answered without hesitation, “Entertainment has become a huge commodity in Asia. This is why we need to strategize wisely. Going back to Korea is not wise.”
“So that means an entire year away from home?” I asked in distress.
“It will be worth it.” Soon stressed.
I couldn’t believe he looked me directly in the eye as he said those words. We were dancing around fire, avoiding any mention of why this was truly bothering me.
“For who? Sixty percent of all we make goes to LN Entertainment! The remainder we have to share amongst ourselves. We work like slaves, twenty four hours a day. Dance training itself takes eight hours. Four more hours will be put into tutoring us on Chinese. And then the remainder will be used in the studio—“
“Jaejoong,” Yunho began haltingly, “Stop.”
I didn’t stop. I was on a roll.
It was my turn to snap.
“You tell us what to eat. You tell us what to think. You tell us where to go. You tell us how to f***ing breath. And for what? You cheat us into believing that we should work this hard for the fame, for the adoration. And we got that to the point where Junsu currently has a stalker that sends threatening letters about hurting others if he so much as looks at another girl. Changmin can’t even focus on the schoolwork at university because of your unrealistic expectations. Yoochun has fans camping outside his apartment, following his family members to find out where he is. We all know what happened to Yunho with the woman who he thought he loved but wanted to release private pictures of them together. A fan just attempted suicide two weeks ago because the video collaboration between Boa and I was too ‘believable’ and she felt betrayed.
“We already have too much going on. There are already too many commitments at home for us to deal with. We can’t go to China right without one of us having a nervous breakdown. It’s just not going to work—“
“Jaejoong…calm down—“
“I’m tired of being a f***ing project. A product. I’m not even a damn person anymore. I can’t even remember what it actually feels like to feel something because I’ve been transformed into some sort of robot. Some sort of machine. You say you think of us as your sons but in reality you don’t. You see us as tools to make your profits grow. To you, we’re just numbers. All we’re asking for, is to go back home, even for a couple of months. That’s all we want to do right now. Is that so much to ask for?”
Soon shot up to his feet, sending his seat rolling roughly backwards with the impetus of his movements. He pointed a rigid finger at Jaejoong.
“Nobody! And I mean no one disrespects me! You’re impossible. Do you honestly think that the world is made of roses and sunshine? When are you going to realize that the answer to success is sacrifice? Isn’t that what you want?!
“I want to go back to the days when I sang because I want to, not because I have to!”
“The day that you die and go to heaven, that will happen. Unless you have another day job, you can’t just sing because you want to.”
Tension crackled like a fierce bone fire in the boardroom. An outburst such as this had never occurred. This was a defining moment in our lives.
For several moments my chest heaved up and down as I caught my breath. I stepped back with a shake of my head.
“I know why you’re doing this.” I murmured. It was crystal clear. Not only was he doing this for his own financial gain.
He was doing this to keep me away from the kids and Mariam. Those words weren’t said, but from the look in his eyes and the hardness in mine, the message was sent clearly enough.
“But it’s not going to work this time,” I told him.
“You understand that this is a great business move for you don’t you?”
“It’s not for me Soon. It’s for you,” I said while walking towards the door.
“I’m trying to expand your empire.”
“Why?” I whipped around in frustration. “We already have enough.”
“You can never have enough glory. It’s endless. Don’t you understand what I’m trying to do for you men?” he rounded the table while addressing us all. “Your names will live forever. You will become legends among commoners. A century from now when young men are asked who their influences are, your name will flow happily from their lips. Don’t you see? I’m helping to make your name live on.”
“Soon, I’m not a starry eyed child anymore. It was once very easy to believe whatever you said but I’m sorry, I find that hard to do right now.”
“Why?” Soon asked daringly while folding his arms. In his eyes I could tell he was asking me if I really wanted to go ‘there’ with him.
I hesitated a tad, but I decided that it was either now or never.
“Okay, here’s why. Recently I found a rare interview that you had done ten years ago. The interviewer had to pay you a substantial amount. This was before you had even green lighted our debut, which meant we were still training with the fifty to fifty percent chance that we were going to make it or get cut off. No one was for sure of our fate. You can’t say that you knew we we’d be a valuable asset to you.
“In this interview, you talked about setting Dream Girls in China. Why? Because you felt it was the biggest market. You wanted to make LN Entertainment a household name. But the natural disasters that shook up the economy took away that chance from you, making you retreat. The American economy began to thrive once again, which is why you had us try to debut there two years ago, but it fell flat because despite the fans we had, we weren’t able to breakthrough the mainstream, which was your main target. Even though we had loyal fans all you wanted us to do was break records in the market to outshine these westerners. It wasn’t even about the music to you anymore Soon.
“Now that China’s economy has revived, you want us to go there because you see money. See, you had said in that interview that you can make entertainment a huge business if you strategize yourself well. That will mean that you want to control about ten percent of the shares by the time you’re done using up all your assets until they’re nothing. But I’m not going to allow you to use us like this anymore.“
The tension was so thick it would have to be broken apart with a drill. All eyes were on me. I had just committed the biggest mistake in LN Entertainment history. I had questioned a boss’s credibility. But he was lucky I didn’t say anything about the Park Jong Hun incident. That would have given away his character.
Soon pursed his lips in irritation. It was so quiet and still in the room I wondered if anyone was breathing. Then, that calm posture returned to him. Slowly, he walked back to his chair and sat on it. Linking his hands together, he glanced up at me and spoke with a condescending smile.
“It’s okay to feel strongly about that Jaejoong. But even so, you’re bound by contract. Unless you want to buy out of your contract, which will cost ten times more than your net worth, you will do as I say.”
That was when I knew that I was really dealing with a monster.
The war was officially on.